anonymous said:

idr season 4 all that well so can you explain to me how Lauren saved everybody?

Yes. Yes I can. Brace yourself, it’ll be a bit long, and sorta snarky. 

I’m going to use the 7th episode (La Fae Epoque) as my example, since it’s what I most recently watched. 

Bo and Dyson get caught doing the nasty by the Una Mens. Dyson is about to be executed and Bo thinks it’s because of them sleeping together (because everything must be about Bo). After an interrogation, Bo learns that the world doesn’t revolve around her, and that Dyson did some messed up shit in the 1800’s, for which he will be executed. Bo isn’t exactly the brains of the group, but she knows who is. She goes to Lauren, who immediately figures out a way to prove Dyson’s innocence. Bo thinks Lauren would be hesitant to help Dyson, because she seems to think that Lauren working for the Dark means she wouldn’t give a shit about Dyson (SHE’S THE SAME PERSON - JUST FREE TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS NOW), but Lauren (being the precious angel with a heart of gold) says that Dyson is family and that’s she saved him before (see Season 3 finale) and will save him again. 

Meanwhile, Hale’s political influence does nothing to free Dyson, and Kenzi gets caught trying to save Dyson and is about to be executed as well. So Dyson and Kenzi are sitting in a cage, waiting for Bo to save them. Now here is a slight repetition of Bo’s dawning, where Dyson has unwavering trust in Bo to save them, while Kenzi knows that Bo isn’t exactly punctual.

Bo is in Dyson’s memory, screwing everything with boobs and taking way too long to prove Dyson’s innocence (not entirely her fault, Dyson’s narrative takes a while). She’s late, and the Oracle leaves because if she stays longer, she’ll go insane. Bo gets caught up in the memory and is no longer doing anything to solve the real time problem, even deciding not to leave at all. Lauren, meanwhile, has been trying to piece together every nonsense word Bo is saying in her sleep, never losing sight of the bigger issue.

When Bo valiantly decides not to leave because she needs to prove that Dyson is innocent (Oh look! She remembers!), Lauren goes in herself, despite it being a much bigger danger to her than it would be to a Fae. She doesn’t expect to come back, and unlike Dyson, she doesn’t expect to be saved. She’s logical. She knows there isn’t supposed to be a way for her to come back. Dyson operates on blind faith, while Lauren is a woman of logic. So this is a completely selfless sacrifice she makes to save Bo, unlike what Dyson did with the Dawning. She does this to save Bo, and to save Dyson (whom she had been competing with for Bo’s affection for over 3 years now).

Once in Dyson’s subconscious, she spends the whole time trying to convince Bo to come back. Bo is upset over losing Lauren/Flora, so Lauren has to remind her that she still has Dyson to come back to. In their very long and very annoying little love triangle, she gives Bo to Dyson just so Bo could live. Bo listens to her and comes back to reality (and saves Lauren while she’s at it - no complaints with that. I don’t even care how, I’m just glad Lauren lives). Then they prove Dyson’s innocent, saving both him and Kenzi. 

Ultimately, Lauren is the one who saves everyone immediately in danger (read: Dyson, Bo, and Kenzi), and no one recognizes that or thanks her in the end. And if you don’t think that’s complete bullshit, you need to watch that episode again. 

Also, if this post came off as me angry at Bo - yeah. I am. I really am. Bo you fucking dumbass - how can you not understand how much Lauren loves you?


  • Kenzi:"Are you not even a LITTLE scared?"
  • Dyson:"What I am is impressed, that you managed to get in here without getting caught. When we DO get out of here, I think it's time we start training you."
  • Kenzi:"For what?"
  • Dyson:"To be a shadow thief."
  • Kenzi:"A shadow what?"
  • Dyson:"A shadow thief. Interested?"
  • Kenzi:"Yeah! It sounds like a friggin' X-box game!"
  • Dyson:"First task: lose the ringtone."
  • Kenzi:"Oh, no. No, I'm out. Can't do that."

anonymous said:

since you said you didn't know french, can you tell me what you thought flora/lauren was saying in her song (if you had a guess) before you got a hold of the actual translated lyrics? :)

You only did this to me because you knew it’d be entertaining, didn’t you? :P Well, joke’s on you because I can sometimes— notice the SOMETIMES— grasp French pronunciation to guess what they’re saying (not that I’ll know what it means) or I know the randomness French words that don’t usually help unless its like “bonjour” or “adieu” or something, but anyway, here goes:

Adieu l’amant e tete blonde

(“goodbye I love you blonde”?)

Qui ma ame mon don pendant trois(?) jeux

I don’t know, “what” something about “three pendants” I don’t know xD)

Ici ballet plus cour plasir

(“Ici” maybe like the Spanish “hice”? Which means “I did” so “I did ballet” and something else)

Vont sovent les meilleures amours

(First word of the line was probably actually “font,” I wasn’t sure; something or other “measure of love” psh I really don’t know)

Je pa me soeur ma bou jedant

(“I” something “sister??”)

Je souvenir de te basoeur

(I’m still psh’ing because I still have no idea. I souvenir something of yours?)

[and then of course the lines I’ve “translated” (incorrectly and very badly I might add repeat so it’s the same]:

Ici ballet plus cour plasir

(“Ici” maybe like the Spanish “hice”? Which means “I did” so “I did ballet” and something else)

Vont sovent les meilleures amours

(First word of the line was probably actually “font,” I wasn’t sure; something or other “measure of love” psh I really don’t know)

Dan le grand tran qui me transport

(“Dan” is “they give” in Spanish… ” “tran” looks like “tren” in Spanish… “They give me transport[ation] in the grand [great?] train.” IM SURE THIS IS VERY AMUSING TO YOU AND ANNOYS THE CRAP OUT OF THE FRENCH SPEAKERS, BEAR WITH ME

Trés loin de toi

(I know trés means very, but I really can’t guess the rest because I’m 900% sure that “loin” in French is NOT “loin” in English. That’d be weird.)

Je sens encore ton coeur qui bat fort

(I something or other again and definitely NOT something about a fort for bats.) CAN YOU TELL I WASN’T LYING ABOUT NOT KNOWING FRENCH, OH MY GOD I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT

Au creux de mes doights

(Does au mean oh? And something that is “mine” but plural, but that’s all I have a guess. I’m assuming “de” is like “de” in Spanish, but that doesn’t really help anyway.)

Adieu l’amant beau legionnaire

(Goodbye I love you my beau, my legendary?) THIS IS HORRIFIC, I KNOW.

Qui ma ame la nuit le jour

(What my love[?] something or other to/for someone? I don’t know!)

Ici ballet plus beau plasirs


Font sovent les meilleures amours

(After hearing it again for a THIRD time, the first word of the line actually was “font,” oops; something or other “measure of love” psh I really don’t know still)

And there you have it. A non-French speaker’s translation. Now I get to look like and idiot while all of you laugh at me. Yay! Please note that I DO have a correct translation, so no need to take pity on me and send me a link to it and please believe me when I say I really am not typically this ignorant (despite what this translation probably makes me out to be), I’m just completely clueless when it comes to French. xD

P.S. I also took Latin, but it didn’t really help at all with this, so all I really could mention was Spanish. xQ I’m feeling duuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmb!