New headcanon: Grandad Holmes.
(misread Granada Holmes and this happened, with captainmartinducreff.) I bet Grandad Holmes is a hoot. Everyone’s embarrassed by his eccentric ways, but Sherlock bloody loves it. Grandad Holmes prefers Sherlock to Mycroft. And gives him vials of poison and acids and morbid medical books and dangerous chemistry sets and a pipe. Mummy Holmes disapproves.
Grandad Holmes makes fun of Mycroft’s umbrella. And gets away with it.
He can eat all the jam and live to tell the tale.
Grandad Holmes is the reason dinosaurs are extinct. Dinosaurs went into hiding after their encounter with Anderson. But then Grandad found them. And then there were none.
I heard someday he ate Mycroft’s cake. Twice.
He once stole Mrs Hudson’s herbal soothers. Spent 3 nights in death row before Sherlock got him out.
Anderson tried to bully him, once. Nobody heard of him for 3 months.
Grandad Holmes’ drinking partner is Sebastian Moran. Grandad wins, every time.
I hear Mrs. Hudson ships him with himself.
This one time, he beat Rupert Graves at football. It was awesome.
Once he asked Molly to see a corpse. She killed her neighbor to oblige him.
Grandad Holmes does not simply walk onto crime scenes. He glides.
Grandad Holmes can walk into Mordor.
Grandad Holmes wore the world’s first cable-knit jumper.
Grandad Holmes talked the cabbie into taking both of his pills.
Grandad Holmes can cut tomatoes. Perfectly.
Grandad Holmes didn’t have his CPL to get a job at MJN air.
Grandad Holmes gets first crack at the cheese tray.
Grandad Holmes can make Hong-Kong rhyme.
Grandad Holmes can find Toblerones at St Petersburg.
Grandad Holmes guessed what was in the box. In one guess.
Grandad Holmes can imagine a million otters.
Grandad Holmes can juggle three apples while flying GERTI. Without crashing.
Tommo once spoke a full sentence. Grandad Holmes was the only one to hear it.
Grandad Holmes killed the Golem. With his thumb.
Grandad Holmes taught Connie Price how to do her colours.
Grandad Holmes found a way to end a game of Yellow Car. He won.
Grandad Holmes married the painter Vernet’s sister.
Grandad Holmes painted the Van Buren Supernova in the 1600’s.