I went into my second year with the mentality of growth. Basically to improve multiple areas of my life that I thought I was lacking in. You know the usual stuff, my habits, academics, music, spirituality, etc. I had the understanding that God has given me this year to really improve myself, to grow. Turns out, I didn’t understand in what areas.
Throughout the semester, I have been challenged. I had work, KCF leadership, church, school, and social life to balance. These are the main parts of my everyday life, and I naively thought that these were the areas I needed to develop. Very subtly, in my head, my improvement of school + church + KCF would equal maturity and discipline. Essentially it became a validation and value system. Of course I’m not saying to give up on these things, but gradually over time, the idea that I’m mature, smart, and that I know-everything slowly creeped into my head. Throw in some prayer, sprinkled with some daily QT, and I was golden.
In the last month, my perspective has changed. I have decided to grow in the understanding of myself. God has really shown me my true colors. I’m a little jja-shik(lil’ punk). I don’t really know anything. Immature. And much much more. So, now that I (kinda) understand this, I think I can start to rebuild myself. And for the first time in a long time, I feel excited for what’s to come in the future haha