Why am I doing this? Why am I shoveling food into my mouth knowing good and well I’m just going to make myself throw it back up? Why you ask, well let me tell you..because I don’t want to think and I don’t want to feel and I need to be in pain physically so I can numb the pain mentally and I don’t want to hate you so I’ll just hate myself and hurt myself because it’s easier and, emotionally, it hurts less.