An Argument Against Pants in Fantasy Worlds

    One thing that has always bothered me about fantasy worlds is how  in pretty much all of them everyone wears pants. Now, I can see where this practice comes from; in the modern day you see a lot of people wearing pants, and their is no problem with wearing pants in your fantasy worlds (its fantasy after all)but next time you make a fantasy world it might be worth thinking about whether they should wear pants. Because there are plenty of reasons not to. 

    The earliest pair of pants ever discovered was, indeed, an event in pre-recorded history. They were found in a Chinese tomb. The thing is, as far as I can find these were the only pair of pants to have been discovered from that time period. And these pants were not even made for casual wear, they were made for horse riding. So the oldest pair of pants we can find were worn for horse riding,were 3000 years old, and we can not find any other pants from the time period.


the  pants

    Now, in case you didn’t know. humans have been around a lot longer than 3000 years.  In fact, if these were indeed the first pair of pants, then we can safely assume that for most of human history that few people, or possibly no one, wore pants. Of course, that is the obvious explanation for the lack of pants unearthed by anthropologists. There is also the fact that earlier pants may have degraded, but the fact stands that from earlier time periods we have many more examples of non pant garments than we do of pants.

    Even once pants were invented people didn’t just immediately fall in love with them. In fact, in Rome. pants were considered signs of being a barbarian. And, by the end of the emperor’s reign pants were banned. Emperor Honorius banned pants being worn in roam in an attempt to get rid of barbarian influence in his country.


notice the distinct lack of pants?

    Now, why do people wear pants? Well, they were certainly not worn for comfort or convenience. Wearing a kilt or robe does not restrict your movement as much when you’re casually walking,  and there’s always something to be said about a nice breeze in the nether regions. No pants were mostly worn as protections. Whether it be against the elements, your own horse, or weapons. In fact, for men in hotter climates pants are simply downright worse than kilts, as they defeat the purpose of the wobbly bits being on the outside of the body since the point of that particular biological function is supposed to be to keep the wobbly bits cool, while pants keep them at around the same temperature as the rest of the body. Now of course you want to keep your wobbly bits warm in cold environments, and you want to protect your legs when your riding a horse, but if you don’t need such protections than pants don’t have many advantages over things such as the kilt.

look at how not sweaty this guy is!

   So next time you are doing something with a fantasy world, I want you to think about pants. Is the culture you are writing about in a cold environment or have riding horses as a common activity? If not, then there is a good chance that it is not logical for them to be wearing pants! 


edit; I just want to make clear that I have no problem with pants, and that the fact that most people in the modern age wear them is indicative of their greatness. I just wrote this to say that maybe next time you wright a fantasy culture you should consider whether they wear pants or not. If you look at all of this and still think they should wear pants even if only for cultural reasons or aesthetics, that’s fine, that is why people wear them now. There is absolutely no problem with that.



http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/06/oldest-trousers-found-in-china-mummies

http://www.livescience.com/34077-wearing-pants-horse-riding.html

http://www.tribunesandtriumphs.org/roman-clothing/roman-trousers-and-breeches.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorius_%28emperor%29

http://mentalfloss.com/article/57250/why-did-we-invent-pants

http://www.utilikilts.com/

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Our wedding was a blend of traditional and pagan elements - we had a handfasting as well as a ring exchange, and each cord represented a different element. Our families also made a cord each. 

On the alter we had various spellbooks, the charms that came on the cords (inside of the tiny urns), our vows, a crystal with white formations on one side and black formations on the other, a bag of runes (which is on top of the bag of cords), candles, the glasses that we drank mead out of, and the ring-bearer’s pillow (which I made, along with my garter).

It was a beautiful, non-intimidating wedding, and I’m really happy I got to integrate some pagan elements into it as well.

Happy Birthday Jensen ❤

A little edit I did because I JUST REALLY NEEDED MORE PICTURES OF JENSEN IN A KILT, OK?! *looks a lot better if you open in a new tab*

 original images: (x) (x)

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On 25 March 1903, Major General Sir Hector Archibald MacDonald, KCB, DSO, also known as “Fighting Mac” died tragically by his own hand.

The son of a crofter, he was born at a farm at Rootfield, near Dingwall on 4 March 1853. Like most in his area, he was a Gaelic speaker and in later life went by the name Eachann nan Cath (‘Hector of the Battles’).

He enlisted in the Gordon Highlanders as a private at 17, and finished his career as a major general; one of only a few men to ever have achieved this feat.

His bravery in the presence of the enemy during the Second Afghan War led to him being offered either a Victoria Cross or a commission. He chose a commission.

At the Battle of Omdurman (2 September 1898) Kitchener unwittingly exposed the flanks of his army to the Dervish. MacDonald swung his men in an arc as the Dervishes charged and held the ground until Kitchener could redeploy. After Omdurman, MacDonald became a household name in Britain. Many people believed that MacDonald, and not Kitchener, was the true hero of Obdurman.

After military service in South Africa and India, he was appointed Commander-in-Chief of British troops in Ceylon. Here he was to become embroiled in rumours, possibly malicious, of homosexuality which led to him seeing no way out but to shoot himself.

A government report released on 29 June 1903 concluded that, “we find the late Sir Hector MacDonald has been cruelly assassinated by vile and slandering tongues. While honourably acquitting the late Sir Hector MacDonald of any charge whatsoever, we cannot but deplore the sad circumstances of the case that have fallen so disastrously on one whom we have found innocent of any crime attributed to him.”

He is buried in Dean Cemetery, Edinburgh, where there is an impressive gravestone (pictured). There is also a 100 ft high memorial, erected above Dingwall in 1907, and one on Mulbuie on the Black Isle, near where MacDonald was born.

Highlander of the British Army’s 71st Regiment of Foot (Fraser’s Highlanders) during the American Revolution. The 71st were heavily involved in combat from 1776, and gained a fearsome reputation as shock troops among the Patriots. Once transferred to Cornwallis’s southern campaign the Scots swapped their warm kilts for breeches. 

Art by Don Troiani.