#防弹少年团##V# 할머니 키워주셔서 감사합니다 #益起来爱她# @微公益

#BangtanBoys##V# Thank you for raising me, grandma #Let’sLoveHerTogether# @微公益

(T/N: The Weibo account @微公益 translates to Wei-PublicWelfare. ‘Wei’ comes from the site, ‘Weibo’. 益起, where 益 comes from 公益 meaning ‘Public Welfare’, has the same pronunciation as 一起 which means together. It’s a play on words)

Trans cr; Mary @ bts-trans

#防弹少年团##Jin# 기억도 안나는 시절에 어머니가 찍어준사진. 어머니는 기억 나시려나 모르겠네요~ #益起来爱她# @微公益 

#BangtanBoys##Jin# Picture taken by my mum that even I don’t remember the date of. Don’t know if mom remembers~ #Let’sLoveHerTogether# @微公益

(T/N: The Weibo account @微公益 translates to Wei-PublicWelfare. ‘Wei’ comes from the site, ‘Weibo’. 益起, where 益 comes from 公益 meaning ‘Public Welfare’, has the same pronunciation as 一起 which means together. It’s a play on words)

Trans cr; Mary @ bts-trans

defining empathy

This information about empathy is from this paper, which I wrote for my undergraduate thesis in 2013 and I am by no means making an attempt to cover what empathy is in stone.  This is simply based off of research I have done and am inclined to agree with, and think it may shed some light on the complexity of empathy, and help guide people to greater understanding when discussing empathy

anyway, here’s the bite-size version:

The word “empathy” itself only came into use in the early 20th century, and since then it has eluded a single strong, clear definition .

Some researchers have focused on the way in which we identify acutely with the feelings of others in times of distress; others have focused on the conscious efforts to understand perspectives unlike our own; and still others have put an emphasis on the action one takes as a result of one or both of the above conditions.

Affective Empathy

Affective empathy, also called affect-sharing, means the ability to “feel with” another individual. It is considered by many an inherent, inborn trait that occurs naturally.  This is a primary element in why we cry at sad movies, experience sadness or anger on behalf of a person who is being hurt, or are moved to laughter by the laughter of people around us.

Self-Other Awareness

This is the ability to understand that while we experience another person’s emotions with affective empathy, these feelings are not actually OURS.  While crying at a sad movie, we may become incapable of realizing the sadness we feel for the characters is not, in fact, our own sadness.  

Self-other awareness allows our brains to clearly distinguish who is whom when we are feeling empathy (Gerdes et. al, 2013).   

Self-other awareness is considered an ability of cognitive empathy because of the conscious thought required to initiate awareness.

Cognitive Empathy

Cognitive empathy has been described as “the more effortful, conscious appraisal process” (Gerdes et. al, 2013).  

Cognitive empathy is about understanding another person’s thoughts and experiences or their perspective. If you were to watch somebody else trying to solve a frustrating puzzle, affective empathy would cause you to also feel frustrated, but cognitive empathy would allow you to understand why that person is frustrated.  

Regardless of affect-sharing, cognitive empathy allows one to take another person’s perspective and rationally imagine how they might feel (Shamay-Tsoory, 2011).

IMPORTANTLY, both affective and cognitive empathy are a combination of learned skill and natural ability (Carkhuff, 1969).  

Some people are hyper-sensitive to the emotions of others without a cognitive understanding of what is happening.  Others may be incredibly perceptive and logical in understanding the thoughts and experiences of other people, but less inclined to adopt the emotions of others as if they were their own.  

People with both strong and weak affective empathy can be taught cognitive skills for developing their empathy, and these cognitive skills may facilitate the use of affective empathy.  

Please consider all of this when discussing empathy, especially in conversations involving neuroatypical people who may experience affective and/or cognitive empathy differently than neurotypical people.

Also keep in mind that people WITH empathy (both affective and cognitive) can still be capable of cruelty, and in fact, being able to understand a person’s emotional state is sometimes critical in emotional manipulation.

People with and without natural capabilities for affective/cognitive empathy are also, on the other hand, capable of compassion, and empathy is simply a means of understanding/feeling the emotions of people around you. 

Empathy does not create compassion, though many people still argue it does (I found a number of papers including compassion as a component of empathy, but I personally disagree with this).

1dot54eva asked:

"go send your parents some hate for creating all this human fail" - LOL! I'm laughing so hard! :D

Really, I am sick and tired of people shitting on Naughty Boy without reflecting on the relentless hate (some of which is Islamophobic and racist) that he receives from this fandom. Anybody who puts themselves in his shoes can understand how that shit gets old fast. He’s human just like the rest of us. What kind of a human being repeatedly sends hateful messages to another human being? It starts with YOU. What the fuck is wrong with YOU? Control YOURSELF. Really, were they not raised right? Maybe their parents are also sitting on social media being bitter bitches. Heh…

People act they own 1D and that each and every member owes them. That’s why they fall for the bullshit so easily. They’re narcissists with huge yet fragile egos. So they think Louis “defends” them and Zayn fails to “defend” them–everything is about them. And NB is the villain because every drama queen needs a good villain in their lives. It’s all a damn farce that they take hella seriously because they’re busy being obnoxious instead of connecting all these damn dots. It’s frustrating af. 

People should feel free to discuss it when NB says something problematic–that’s actually productive. But that’s different than trying to strip him of his humanity and encouraging people to hate him. I’ve spent enough time on earth to know that attacking the person and not the issue is a favored tactic of weak bitches everywhere. So when I see that shit, I have no sympathy. Get it how you live. 

I had a really good day today. I may have been hungover, but it was a damn good day. I’m working hard and gaining lots of experience at the cafe which has lead me to receiving great amounts of respect from my co-workers. I’m taking over a leadership roll and pursuing new tasks that make me feel powerful and level-headed. I love feeling good at what I do each day, especially when I can form beautiful relationships with many different kinds of folks. I’ve been at this cafe for over a year now and I’m finally feeling like I have my shit together. I’m working hard, saving cash, providing for myself, learning new things, stepping out of my comfort zone daily, and spreading genuine love to other humans. Ever since transitioning my confidence has increased significantly. It’s finally showing outwardly. I’m doing alright.