kerosack said:

W

It’s funny, I’ve never really had a clear defined “idol” or person that I strive to be like. But if I had to think of a person who I would like to be like, it would be someone who is successful, altruistic, and happy.

I’m sure lots of people could fall under that category, so I guess my “idol” is more like the idea of what someone should be like, and not a person in particular. If that makes any sense!

[.]

a neighbor just died in our doorway…
i don’t know what am i supposed to feel or what am i supposed to do, everything was so fast and so unexpected and i don’t know.. i’ve been living here my entire life and we know every neighbor in our street, at least the next door ones so this was totally surprising, she just fell and some min later died. my parents were there and my mom was so shocked, you know see someone died in your arms sounds like that just happens in movies until that really happens to you..
i didn’t see anything, i was upstairs and my mom told me everything while she was crying and i was shocked, i’m still shocked. 
I’m not afraid of death, i just.. i don’t know, i guess i’m kind of afraid of see people that i know die in a way like that, when everything is fine and suddenly this happen.. 
when i saw my mom crying, i couldn’t help it but think about what happened to me last may and how lucky i am to be here right now..  i have 17 reasons on my stomach to remember it. i guess i’m not over it yet and sometimes i realise that i don’t have someone to talk about it and that sucks..

i have so many feelings right now and i just wanted to say this even if no one cares, i just had to say it.

"My heart stops beating, It makes me see how bright life could have been" 

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