My sister has cancer. its incurable.
so about a week ago, my sister went into the doctor for stomach paints. At first they ruled it at Ovarian cists and then the next day they realized it was cancer. But all was still well because they said all they had to do was remove her uterus and everything should be fine. But then the doctor told her he wanted to do kemo instead of removing so she got a new doctor to tell a second oppinion. Well that doctor did a second look and it seams like the cancer is not just in her uterus. It’s in her entire lower area of her abdomen and is not anything currable.
She isnt my real sister, she is my brothers wife but she has been in my life since I was ten. I am 23 years old now and she is more of a sister to me than my real sister who left and shunned the family when i was 9.
They are going to do kemo, but thats just to….hold it off till later…
I have never had a death close to me? We dont know if she is going to die or how long she has, but i have never had to deal with death this close, only secondhand.
And i have this really bad problem with confronting certain things. Like, people who are in pain or have problems i tend to avoid them so i dont have to deal with it. I havent texted my sister yet or said anything to my brother (her husband) and I just dont really want to because i dont want to cry and i dont want to be surrounded by sad people.
I really really hate being in a room with crying people and i dont know if it is soemthing wrong with me and im just so upset right now. I normally cry by myself. i HATE crying in front of people even if its NORMAL in certain times to cry infront of them. such as sickess or death.
im currently down at my boyfriends house and my mom and grandma are coming to get me and i dont know how i am going to servive a 4 hour drive with them crying and talking about her possably dieing and i dont know how i am going to handle that.
i can barely keep ahold of myself when i am by myself crying. I hate i hate i hate crying infront of people.
i dont know how to comfort people when somthing like this happens. Its so hard for me because i cry at everything sad and i just feed off everyones sadness and i cant comfort people without crying.
i try to avoid situations that are going to make me cry. Hell even getting an extreme emotion of any kind (happyness, sad, mad) makes me cry i just fucking hate it.
I hate this situation so bad. I am super super upset and super angry about all of this but i am going to have to deal with my friends and family thinking im “heartless” because im not talking about it. that im not voicing how i feel about the situation.
I dont want to cry and i dont want to loose the only person who has been concidered my sister and i am so sorry for my brother because he is already stressed and deserves so much more happyness than this.
sorry about all the spelling errors. i dont feel like correcting them right now