See, when you meet someone
for the first time,
you don’t really imagine that they would
turn out to be someone important to you.
You don’t really assume that
when you first learn someone’s name
that after awhile you would begin to really
get to know them inside and out,
or how you begin to pick up their habits,
and start talking like them,
or finishing the food off their plates
you don’t really see these things
happening, when you first meet someone.
Without really expecting it, this someone
who was only just a stranger to you before,
can all of a sudden mean so much more,
can become someone so special,
and someone you can’t see yourself
living without.
—  Keen Malasarte, "I never thought you would have such an effect"
This is the thing about fanfiction

I could write a first kiss scenario between the same two characters a thousand times and not get bored.

Sometimes I get overwhelmingly distracted by a new version.

Okay, I always get distracted by a new version.

I am currently distracted by a new version.

I’m a sucker for a first kiss, and everything that leads up to it.

It’s like some kind of curse. I must have broken a mirror, or stepped on some crack, or killed and eaten an entire village in a past life, because I can’t seem to make it stop.

Mostly I don’t mind. But there it is: the first kiss scenario. Over and over and over.

Why is that so appealing? I can’t really explain it. There it is.

And maybe I’m just

some silly old character

in your book,

but I don’t want to be

just a couple

of pages

you can skim through.

I want to be the line

that gets stuck

in your head


I want to be 

the long pause

that you take

for reading too much.

I want to be 

the heavy sigh 

you breathe out 

because it was

a lot to take in.

I want to be 

the reason 

you still bother

turning the page.

I want to be 

the name

that never fails

to escape

your lips.


The Blacklist AU | Liz and Ressler leave the FBI to work for Red in order to catch Berlin and Tom.

His jacket is long gone, lost in the floor of some russian mobster’s club. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, the first three buttons of his now bloody shirt are missing, gun hidden in the back of his trousers. He has a nasty cut on his left eyebrow, a swollen cheek and probably a broken lip, but he’s still alive.

When Ressler opens the door of the suite the first thing he sees is Dembe and Red playing chess.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Oh, Donald," says Red cheerfully without taking his eyes off the game. "What took you so long?"

"You left me with a bunch of Bratva guys, just after you took half of their money, because you said you need to take care of an important matter. What the hell is so important about chess!?"

"Take a breath, agent Ressler." Donald clench his teeth. He’s not an agent, not anymore, Red has to stop calling him that. "We had a lead, but it’s far gone by now. We were waiting for you."

"You have a lead?"

"I was speaking with Max," says Liz coming from the next room with a tablet in hand. "They saw Berlin a few days ago in… What the hell happened to you?" she asks him as soon as she raises her eyes from the tablet and focus her glance on Ressler.

~ Extract from Gone rogue

Blacklist AU: Meera actually gets a funeral.

Okay, so I’m thinking. When someone you really admire, someone you trust - it’s like: before I started this job, I worked with some great people, sure; but this task force has really exposed me to a whole higher echelon of great, hardworking people. And Meera. She is dedicated, brilliant and utterly fearless. At least, she always seems fearless to me. I’ve never met anyone like her, really.

I’m stuck on repeat wondering: why did this happen? (x)

Innamorato - CrissColfer Ficlet

Title: Innamorato <— (AO3 link)
Pairing: CrissColfer
Rating/Length: PG-13 (for swearing and vague sexual situations); ~4100k
Warnings: RPF, future!fic, post-Glee!fic
Summary: There are many places in the world to visit, when there’s time, and home is, of course, where the heart is.

Follow up to La Même Direction.

[All the fics in the Prufrock ‘verse can be found here or here]

For Katie and Cass, who may or may not have wanted a little more.

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Panic began as so many things do in Carp, a dead-end town of 12,000 people in the middle of nowhere: because it was summer, and there was nothing else to do.

Heather never thought she would compete in Panic, a legendary game played by graduating seniors, where the stakes are high and the payoff is even higher. She’d never thought of herself as fearless, the kind of person who would fight to stand out. But when she finds something, and someone, to fight for, she will discover that she is braver than she ever thought.

Dodge has never been afraid of Panic. His secret will fuel him, and get him all the way through the game, he’s sure of it. But what he doesn’t know is that he’s not the only one with a secret. Everyone has something to play for.


When Loki turns up demanding Thor’s help on a quest to retrieve the All-Mother from Valhalla, Thor isn’t about to say no. But that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten anything, and what better time than a road trip through the backwaters of the universe for trying to talk things out?


By god, I don’t know what happened.

I knew the moment I left the theater that I was going to write fic bringing Frigga back, because obviously. The “road trip to Valhalla” started out as a joke and then became…not a joke, like most of the things I joke about. And then I had a rapidly expanding movie coda that was about bringing Frigga back - but also about getting somewhere with the Thor/Loki relationship that I felt good about. Because I’m really all about fixing things. (No, actually.)


So, so many hugs to the incomparable thorkizillas, who gave me pages and pages of invaluable commentary and criticism and put up with my nervous fretting. Thanks also to my personal Steve, zaataronpita, who makes sure I don’t go off the rails. And how about a bonus thanks to all the people following me on tumblr who put up with my writing angst on a regular basis, and somehow still seem to like me.

Other fics are coming! I’m working on everything that’s still in progress. But this one, at least, is done. I hope you enjoy.

Edit: and a belated thanks also to portraitoftheoddity who, when I had written myself into a corner, helped me wriggle out of it again. You are a lifesaver, friend.

Peppermint and cinnamon | Liz/Ressler (Keenler) Fanfiction | The Blacklist

Title: Peppermint and cinnamon
Rating: T
WC: 4,740
Characters: Donald Ressler, Elizabeth Keen, Meera Malik, Red Reddington, Aram Mojtabai.
Pairing: Elizabeth Keen/Donald Ressler (Keenler)
Summary: Ressler can deal with the decorations and the lights, but he’s not going to a Christmas party. No way in hell. Not even if his life depends on it.
Author’s notes: Friendly reminder that English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for all the mistakes you’ll probably find.
More notes: You can totally blame enalgunlugar for this one, because it was her idea. She was like "It’s Christmas, I can’t believe we don’t have a mistletoe fanfiction" so here it is. You should probably read "83 days" before this because it’s kind of a sequel, but I guess you can read it as an oneshot too. I hope you like it and MERRY CHRISTMAS! ;)

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Often, I feel that I disappoint too many people for not being able to accept my full potential. Of failing to see myself through their eyes. Of not acknowledging my worth because I’ve been told many times long ago, that I wasn’t worth the effort by the wrong people. For many years, I’ve held myself accountable for all the poor choices done towards me shoving aside my need for reassurance, and dealing with the guilt of not being enough. For years, I believed that I had to apologize to people for what they thought of me. And now I’m finally learning that I need to forgive myself for that. I need to learn to forgive myself for feeling bad that other people can’t appreciate me for what I am.
—  Keen Malasarte, Only when I learn to love myself, will they value me. And I’m not really sure how long that’s going to take.