Why I find myself disappointed in other women

For all of those women who are complaining Kaley Cuoco is out of Henry Cavill’s “league”, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

We are judged by our outsides, always, in so many situations and yet wonder why so many women suffer with low self-esteem, eating issues and strive for unattainable weight, body and image goals.

The objectification of women comes from not just men but from each other, where we tear each other apart and reinforce misogynistic ideals of beauty and aging for young women and older women.

So many issues from our appearance, the skin we’re in.  I’ve lived with this all my life, struggled with my weight and my incredibly crappy self-esteem. 

And after having my daughter, it’s been even worse.  Chronic health issues, depression, it weighs as heavy as the weight I carry around at times and it really eats at my ability to hold my head up.  I see how people look at me and I know it affects how they perceive the other parts of me.  I know that I’m smart, I’m valuable and I am important.  Those are all things I’m working on to hold close to me, learning to find my health, to lose weight and to bring greater meaning to my life.  

Most importantly, I strive to set a good example for my daughter and try to teach her that her worth comes from everything about her.  Her value comes from things that go deeper than her gorgeous strawberry blonde hair and her amazing green eyes.  She deserves to know that her value is grounded in her being and that we treat each other with respect and value the women around us, lift them up and cherish our female friends and those women we don’t know (and yes, I get snarky, I understand places like Go Fug Yourself, etc.  This is not about being completely unable to criticize an outfit, etc.)  It has more to do with incidents like Rex Reed thinking it’s okay to call Melissa McCarthy “a female hippo” in a film review and pretending this has anything to do with his criticism of her acting ability or her performance in the film.

The anger, the hate and the vitriol doesn’t hurt Kaley, unless she allows it to.  Words are wind, you are strangers.  But it hurts ALL women, in my opinion, when we are so petty and vile.  

I really hope that whatever causes people to be so hurtful and hateful towards the other women in their lives, whether they be strangers or loved ones, that those people come to terms with these painful feelings.  They do cause pain, mostly to ourselves.  Anger, hate, negative feelings eat at us, even if we don’t realize it.

I know this hasn’t been put as elegantly as I would have liked it to have been put.  And I know it’s far more preachy as well.  But I’ve seen these comments in many places.  And I’ve seen them in many different circumstances, from gossip to how we speak about the actual people in our lives.  

I can’t tell you what my husband sees in me or continues to see in me, but we are coming up on being married 15 years and well, I know what he sees in me goes beyond my looks.  Looks fade, they are merely something on the outside (and you can care for it, keep your body healthy and love it with all it’s flaws and quirks), but what is on the inside, it grows, you can cultivate it and also grow stronger, wiser and more patient with not just others but yourself.

I only wish the best for ANYONE who reads this, even if we vehemently disagree.  

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