authocracy said:

JESS WHY WOULD YOU TAG IT THAT WAY. NOW I WANT VULCAN JONNY WHO CAPTAIN KANER THINKS HE ANNOYS BUT IN FACT JONNY HAS TO MASK IT BC HE FEELS /TOO MUCH/

okay but ISN’T THAT A PERFECT AU SCENARIO??

like kaner is this wildchild party animal with a heart of gold who bowman takes under his wing. no one really thinks he’s cut out for it, don’t believe he can take anything seriously, but his desire to prove them wrong just drives him. he’s scrappy and tough and know people, knows how to bring people together, how to make the hard choices, how to take care of the people he loves. it takes him a while to get to that point though, a few grand gestures to earn his captaincy and of course he’s got his trusty best friend, dr. sharp, to keep him company along the way. unfortunately, sharpu keeps on sticking him with goddamn needles fuck you sharpy.

and then jonny, oh jonny. he seems so staid and serious on the outside but he has this absolutely filthy offbeat sense of humour once you get close enough to know him. 

and god kaner loves pushing his buttons. they fight all the time on the bridge and bicker back and forth, and at this point everyone just rolls their eyes and a pool starts on when they’ll finally fuck.

but the thing is, kaner is never totally sure where he stands with jonny. he’s pretty sure if jonny actually hated him, he wouldn’t be around to tell the tale, but at the same time, jonny is so unresponsive every time kaner flirts outrageously with him. kaner thinks maybe it’s a vulcan (half vulcan whatever) thing, but every time he thinks they’re getting somewhere, jonny just shuts down and pushes him away, no more soft reluctant smiles or fond looks, just this mask.

but the thing is - the only reason jonny doesn’t flirt back is because he doesn’t quite know how, and he knows, logically, that this is an awful idea. patrick is his commanding officer, and he’s crunched the numbers - the risk is too great even for the possible return. so jonny forces on a mask and won’t let kaner close - he’s too important, and jonny feels too much, and it makes him feel crazed and out of control.

of course, kaner is nothing if not persistent.

8

Patrick Sharp on how he gets his jollies (2013 Blackhawks Convention, 7/27/13)

anonymous said:

I lost my shit at 'sister hood of the traveling hat' on kaner's photo. If ppl don't read your tags they are missing out.

ahaha thanks love :) my tags are usually pretty ridiculous, but i’m glad they can make people laugh

3

7/18/14: Jonathan Toews is sleepy (but not too sleepy to discuss his ambitious plans to Take A Selfie with an enraptured audience) [X]

ETA: Fixed the text a little. Many, many thanks to pksubbans for figuring out what Tazer was saying in the first GIF! ♥
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