MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

So, I love to cook. You all should know this by now due to my incessant posts about food. My local farmers’ market, Hollygrove Market, has a special every week where you can buy a hodgepodge of their local arrivals for $25 dollars. Now you may think, that’s a pretty steep price for some produce. But bear in mind it’s all local and organic. Imagine how much that would run you at Whole Foods! Plus, they have a Yelp! check-in discount of 10% off your total purchase, to it ended up being $23. Naturally, I bought it. All of this, actually.

Then I got home, unloaded by pack, and had a stare-off with this mountain of produce that I really have no idea what to do with.

It’s really intimidating. And what the hell is chard? I don’t know what chard is. It sounds like some scientific name for fecal matter. Anyway, my challenge is to cook all is this by the time the next box is ready for pick-up (one week). Every single thing on the list. Which I suppose is good because it will force me to be an intrepid cook, to be creative , and use foreign produce that I think sounds like fecal matter. And my meals have become rather monotone as of lately, so this should help. With that said, first meal is cooking and will be here shortly! :)


For the two of you who read this, tanks, mons! And happy hump day.

This is a run from yesterday and another from last week— I was able to shave about 30 seconds off from my geriatric-deathly-slow pace, huzzah mf.

(c’mon, in honor of Easter, y’all)

Jackie, we’re doing the grown up Turkey Trot this year, don’t forget! That is why I do this. For you, baby. So we can take embarrassing finishing-line photos together. We need to brainstorm some ideas, or just stick to what we’re professional at.

This post is for my lovely Miss Dina Sand because she sacrificed some of her precious sleep to Skype with me from España this afternoon (check out her blog, it’s fantastic and hilarious and makes me want to leave the States like, right now). And also because she has instilled a dirty habit in me regarding the Kardashians (sweet baby Jayses, I admitted it). Pero, this is the dinner I made for this week whilst we were chattin’ it up.

It’s not really eggplant parmesan per se, but some variant of it? I don’t really know. But easy! Just peel your eggplant and brown it with a little EVOO in a skillet. In the meantime, sauté some onions and garlic in another skillet then add a tomato/spaghetti sauce of your choice. J’adore Pomi’s tomato sauce (http://www.pomi.us.com/TomatoSauce.php), no added salt, just straight up tomato bidness, just how I like it (I’m a purist, sue me). Then simply place your browned eggplant in the sauce and simmer on low for thirty minutes or so depending on how soft/firm you want your eggiweg-plant (I watched A Clockwork Orange last night, been trying to speak Nasdat all day). Que simple, no?! Served this with some turkey breast tenderloin and topped it with grated mozzarella.

Get some!!

On another note, Austin on Saturday, home on Sunday. Can’t wait :)

Germany gets first taste of real Mexican food!
1) Sirloin beef skirts marinated in lime, cilantro, onion, garlic, cumin, and chile de árbol.
2) Salsa from scratch (roasted tomato, garlic, and chile Serrano).
3) Refried black beans
4) Pile all of the aforementioned together on a fried, unusually thick tortilla (made from scratch with corn flour, thank you), then top with queso fresco and you get…. Sopes!!!! Oh. my. god. Becky.

So good.
I die.
I am dead.

Also served with calabazitas guisadas aka stewed Mexican zucchini aka Mexican zucchini sautéed with onion, garlic, tomato, and a poblano pepper.

Germany approved. Now let me cook for you :)

I want to love kale. I really do. But sometimes its earthy taste is just to much for me, even when cooked. I feel like its an experience much akin to eating month-old compost. And when you eat it raw, it’s super bitter. Just a lose-lose situation, boo (or, a catch-22, Pastor Will Gorms?).

Anyway, i found this recipe a while back and finally got around to making it because Winn Dixie has the sexiest bunches of kale for only $1.69. This is Whole Foods-worthy kale, y’all, couldn’t let this opportunity slide. But this salad is actually REALLY good. I ate it all today, #oops. It’s all in the mangoes, I think. They’re one of my deathbed fruits. And not pronounced MAIN-go, but MON-go (that one time I corrected myself, I know Jackie, I know…) The next time you’re feeling iron-deficient or mango-deprived, give it a go, my friends!

P.S. Did you know pumpkin seeds and pepita seeds are the same thing? I did not. Consider my world rocked.

I love quick and easy dinners! Not that I’m strapped for time and am in the need for quick and easy dinners (obviously, since I’m currently blowing up your dashboard with nonsensical rubbish). But salad with cherry tomatoes, cucumber, red onion, strawberries, blue cheese, toasted walnuts and cottage cheese.

Muerte.

So good. Something about the pungency of the cheese mixed with stanky onions and fleshy, sweet strawberries, so many tastes and textures going on I just can’t deal. Again, muerte.

MIMS, this is what I was smacking away on during our call tonight :) Rendezvous next week, huzzah!

4

Although collard greens are a staple in American Southern cuisine (with an interesting history—Google it!), unfortunately I have not had much exposure to them (I suppose that’s because I’m from the Southwest, not the South. We get tacos, yay). Anyway, of the recipes I researched for these “mess o’ greens,” most called for various ham and turkey appendages (pig feet, turkey necks..yum) to simmer with the greens for a more traditional approach.

Instead, I decided to take a “Southwestern” spin on the dish and cooked the greens with onion, tomato, jalapeño, black beans, corn, and lots and lots of cumin (hands down, favorite spice. I want this stuff sprinkled on me in the tomb). Topped it with some plain, strained Greek yogurt, lime, and avocado. It turned out okay! The greens have a very strong, distinctive taste, and that’s probably due to the way I cooked (overcooked?) them, and are a bit bitter, but in a good way. Eat yo greens, girl!

It’s so nice to have access to our kitchen again. For the past few days I’ve been in between roommates, aka all the shit has been everywhere, aka my apartment basically looked like an episode of Hoarders. Cool. But everything has cleared up nicely so I don’t have to avoid the kitchen and make smoothie-meals in my living room anymore (Terri Schiavo Hollywood Diet FTL— oops).

Sautéed onion, garlic, and tomato with black beans, chicken sausage, and spinach. Quick, easy, and no mess. And of course, there was lots of hot sauce. Nom. It would have been nice with some rice (see what I did there?) but I be feelin’ lazy tonight.

Also, NOLA folk, do y’all know of any reputable shelters or organizations besides Goodwill or Salvation Army that are in need of appointment-free donations? I’m looking for something where I can just drop off the goods at any time. My roommate left behind a bunch of linens, clothes, food and kitchen utensils that I need to get rid of stat or my OCD will consume me alive. If you know of any place, inbox me please :)

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