She felt like ending her life.
Her once happy heart had become nothing
but a beat to a song nobody wanted to hear.

With tears in her eyes, she shut them tightly
and remembered the prophecies.

She imagined the planes and the airports
and the passport filled with a hundred stamps.

She imagined the lines on the paper
of the songs she would write
and the ambient melodies to flow along with.

She imagined the twinkle in her eyes
as she stood on a stage before the millions
and the overwhelming sense of Gods presence.

She imagined the lives before her
and how her story would impact the broken hearts,
mending them back together again.

She imagined the heads she would lay hands on
and the miracles of souls set free, healed and
made whole by the power of God.

She imagined the embracing hugs from
the self harmer who got set free from depression
and the tears of happiness falling from the eyes
of the girl who got set free from fear of rejection.

She imagined the girl in the wheelchair
dancing in the isles, praising the Lord
because he had just healed her.

She imagined the children prophesying
dreams, visions and words of encouragement
as thousands fall under the anointing of God.

She imagined the spontaneous and free worship.
The prophetic songs she would sing out
and the declaration proclamations she would
speak over the lives God had asked her to speak into.

She imagined the joy of never giving up,
even if it was just to reach those people.

She opened her eyes, tears streaming down
her cheeks like rivers of living water.

She put the knife down and this she did pray;
‘Lord if this is what you have called me to,
then just as Isaiah 6.8 says
“Here I am. Send me.”
I desire your will above mine.
In Proverbs 19.21 it says;
“You can make many plans,
but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”
and as my favourite scripture
found in Isaiah 60.22 reads;
“At the right time, I, the Lord,
will make it happen”

I pray you would be a constant reminder
of the bigger picture in my little existence.
‘Cause Lord, even if I have to cry myself
to sleep every night until I reach those people
and see this dream come alive and even if it
means resisting every temptation to hurt my body
and it means fighting against the spirit of fear
and rejection and depression and anxiety..
I will do it. You have made me a warrior
and I am ready to go into battle for your people.
I can do this without fear for your word tells me
in Jeremiah 20.11;
”The Lord stands beside me like a great warrior.”
I want to be the David, to whatever Goliath I am facing.

My life is in your hands and I want you to turn
my mess into your message and my test into
my testimony. If I am going to go through hell
to get to those you have chosen me to help,
it will be a war worthy of picking up my sword for.

She felt like starting her life.
Her once saddened heart had become something
like a beat to a song the world needed to hear.

My drawing for tonight because swords and hearts are my favourites (: This one was just a draft, I am going to draw it up massive on an A3 sheet of paper and then colour it in deep greens, reds and golden tones and hang it on my wall in my new room (Once I move to Wellington!) I drew the whole thing with ‘Coming to Terms’ on repeat for the past hour or so and only just realised I forgot to put my music on shuffle! Awhh well, The Latest Fallout are the perfect background tunes for drawing anyway <3

my latests threads have anchors,
ship helms and rope prints on it *how sailor girl of me (:
and i finally found a deep magenta lipstick,
thankyou ever so much to L’Oreal cosmetics ♥ ♥
ps. i la la love you! yessss you reading this ;D
3

I believe that sometimes in life, when things get tough, we just need to let out a deep sigh of laughter; Creating an explosion of happiness, scattering the Joy of the Lord as far as the walls those infectious giggles echo against. My childhood Pastor Sherrie Hadden would often pause in the middle of her sermon, just to say ‘Ha Ha Ha’ and before you knew it, every time without fail, suddenly the Joy started bubbling within the entire congregation, like the fizz in a bottle of coke! The enemy has no new tricks up his sleeve, all his attempts to take us out have so ‘been there and done that’ and often I think we just need to stop and have a good belly laugh at how much of a ‘try hard’ he is and realize we have God on our side and we have already won the battle. Don’t let the devil steal your Joy. Your Joy no man taketh from you - John 16:22 <3