And I can’t stand to think about it. I won’t have a problem staying loyal to her. She’s the love of my life and I could never tarnish anything that makes her happy. I often wonder if she smiles when she thinks about me. I often wonder if she dreams of us one day walking down the street, maybe a child between us, one hand in each of ours. I often wonder if I’m on her mind half as much as she is on mine.
My queen…my lover. Render me useless. Let me kiss you. Let me love you. Let me take you to where soul-mates find serenity. You electric princess, so young, so fair. Together we would make the perfect pair. I remember our first date. The waitress asked me when you went to the bathroom how long we had been together because we looked so happy and in love. She never took the tip I left her. We could go out like that for the rest of our lives, when the occasion calls for it, or whenever you feel sad (which I will make my number one priority and not allow it to happen). I love you now, and I’ll love you forever. I am constantly playing a guessing game with you. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy. I would never have it any other way. I know you love me. I see it in the ocean that is your eyes and in way you smile as we make eye contact. Part of me wants that peace of mind to know, but you’ve had me since day one. That won’t change. You could one day marry someone else and I would still love you. You are literally the only woman I will ever love. I now say that with absolute certainty. A year ago, I couldn’t. I was newly single. I’ve never been able to connect with anybody else besides you. I fell for you before I even knew you. I fell in love with the promise of you. All that you do and all that you say always has me wanting more and more of you. I could listen to you talk for hours on end and never get bored. You’re like caffeine to me. When you’re not around, I get down…lonesome, even. When breaks hit and I don’t see you for an extended period of time, I lose my shit and go crazy. I never knew why, but it’s become almost transparent to me as of late. When I was younger, I used to think I knew what love was. I didn’t realize how it confuses the fuck out of you as you get older. When I used to think about you, I’d think about how everybody has always told me that I have no chance with you and I’d think what I felt to be infatuation. I’d be told that I could have any other woman in the world but you. What is it then, when I don’t want any other woman in the world but you? I’ve never gotten to kiss you and I’ve only ever hugged you once. You have no problem hugging anybody else. What are you afraid of? I never thought I’d fall in love with someone I have never even kissed. I’m not afraid you’re not good at it, though. Any woman who can knock me off my feet like you have and has style and morals like you do need never worry about romance and intimacy. Our story has barely even begun, yet you’ve consumed my mind, you irreverent temptress. I will miss you, and I pray that you do not fall in love with some sweet Italian stallion. I know you want a fresh start, and I KNOW I need a fresh start, but the difference is that instead of running away, I want to start a new life with you. I want your head on my lap when we lay awake in the wee hours of the morning watching Netflix. I want to feel the warmth of your body on my chest as you dream. I want to make you breakfast every morning in my underwear and go down on you when you’re done eating until you cum. I want to run my hands through your lavish scented hair and wipe away any tears you may shed, all the while attempting to be cute and make you giggle to remind you that everything is really alright. You can bite my finger if you’re anxious. You can make me your personal punching bag if you need to. Whatever you need, baby…I’m there.