I thought I knew what love was.

16…nearly 17 years, I’ve experienced love, watched it grow and flourish between friends.
Seen people get married.
Watched an old couple die one after, following each other into the abyss because to live without them wouldn’t be living at all.

I thought I’d experienced heart break.

Obviously not. To experience heart break would mean I would have had to have been in love…and in love with you I was not.

So that leave me here thousands of days old, feeling my ever so slowly deteriorating body heal it’s self from the warm fuzzies you give me.

Who could have known that those butterflies that thrash about so violently whenever you’re near; that I’m pretty sure have cause internal bleeding, are healing me?

Every smile causes my terrible circulation and constant need for warmth to disappear from mind, because when I see you I warm up. Cells stand to attention, hairs on end, eyes shining with the reflections of parallel universes where we get married, or we sit and eat bacon watching cartoons, or we buy a dog like we always wanted to, or get matching tattoos, we set fire to the dinner and order pizza or we do anything! Because it’s possible that we could BE anything….or you leave. We’ll never know.

But it’s you and me sugar and we’re both in it for the long run.

….this time it’s real, or at least I hope it is.