The signs when jealous

Aries: watches from a distance and growls, plotting death (though significantly more than usual)

Taurus: kind of just whimpers and doesn’t really do anything else

Gemini: I will kill them. I will kill them and claim my prize.

Cancer: WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU DATING THEM? I WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOU (*Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” plays steadily in the background*)

Leo: complains about it to their friends but doesn’t actually do anything to change the situation they’re in

Virgo: okay maybe if I summon a demon and enslave it it’ll make them fall in love with me…

Libra: I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE. GIVE IT TO MEEEEE. (*makes grabby hands*)

Scorpio: actually plans and attempts murder to get what they want

Sagittarius: watches from a bush with binoculars

Capricorn: confronts them and calmly tells them that they could do so much better (and also that the partner they’re with rarely showers and drinks milk right from the carton)

Aquarius: plays that song that goes “I want you to want me / I need you to need me / I’d love you to love me” or something like that whenever they’re around the person

Pisces: sobs quietly in a corner