the signs being assholes

aries: honks at you for no damn reason in a drive thru

gemini: never lets you finish a damn sentence

leo: calls your aesthetic gross but then slowly steals your aesthetic and takes credit for it

virgo: criticizes everything single thing you do they even complain about how you breathe

libra: total music snob. you listen to a genre they don’t like? you’ll never hear the end of it

taurus: will correct literally everything you say. you think your shirt is red? wrong. the taurus says it’s blood orange

capricorn: will totally fuck your longtime crush and then brag about it

sagittarius: they talk mad shit and indirect the hell out of you and when you confront them they play innocent and blame someone else

scorpio: they’ll drag you for no reason. you could make a post saying you like mint chocolate ice cream better than vanilla and they’ll drag you for that

pisces: when you introduce them to your close friend they become closer with them than you are and then rub it in your face

cancer: if you say something even remotely mean they’ll cry in public and make you look like a total jerk

aquarius: this fucking hippie will call the township and rat you out because you haven’t watered your lawn