breath of life | closed.
“How is she?” Jay asked impatiently once the doctor stepped out of the room, his fists red from all the punching he did to the cold hard wall.
“Well, the thing is that -”
“Just fucking tell me if she’s okay.” the dark haired boy snapped, his dangerous tone warning the man in front of him to cut the crap.
The middle aged man rolled his eyes as he lifted his glasses, letting out a “She’s alright -“
Those were all the words he needed to burst into her room, uncaring if anyone was going to stop him, thankfully no one did. He just needed to see her.
Giving his best efforts to keep his footsteps silent, Jay stared at his girlfriend with his immensely worried gaze, trying to observe everything. Her beautiful face was even paler then he last remembered it, almost white as sheet, almost like a dead man’s. Only her steadily heaving chest and the shallow breaths reasurred him that she wasn’t gone. Weak, fragile, but still breathing. Still his.
What the fuck was he thinking, falling in love with a dying girl? He didn’t regret it though, not even once. Everything was just.. different when he was with her, the good kind of different, the type that just made him feel better, made him wanted to be better so he would actually deserve her. It was just the helplessness he hated. He would do anything for her, yet there was nothing he could do. He wanted desperately to fight for her but the battle wasn’t even his to pick. Again, the helplessness.
His brief moment of deep thoughts was rudely interupted as a nurse entered the dimly lit room, gesturing him to go outside and that it was his time to leave. Feeling his anger crawling back to him, he embraced it with no hesitation, words to yell at the clueless woman were already formed and waiting excitedly in front of his lips. Realizing how he would wake Natalie if he did that, Jay stopped himself from shouting abruptly as he gave a annoyed yet low sigh, a nod indicating that he was going in a moment.
Turning back to take sight of her girlfriend’s fragile state for the last time, hegot close to the edge of her bed and took her small hand in his strong one, hating how cold she felt. But hey, she was still there, with him, for that he was grateful. “I love you.” he breathed as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead, before letting go of her and headed to the door, painfully aware that someday, somewhere, this was going to kill her, and that was going to kill him, too.