I just realized the only person I’ve had contact with for a long time is my boyfriend… I’ve only ever left the house to go to the store or to take the dogs to go to the bathroom. Oh god I’m living my nightmare. Being constantly alone is the worst. I wish I was still living with my friends. I’ve been pretending things have been okay because I didn’t want to make them feel bad but this is hell. I can’t be alone. 

You are not alone

If you are being hurt by a person, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one else could possibly understand your relationship.

If you’re being hurt by your family, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one else could possibly understand your family.

If you are being hurt by a community, they’re likely trying to convince you that no one from outside the community can possibly understand.

It’s not true. You are not alone. There are others outside your relationship, family, and community, who can relate to what you’re going through and who can help.

Some aspects of your relationship, family, or community are unique. Some of them are probably unusual, positive, and hard for outsiders to understand. But that is not the barrier that those who are hurting you want you to think it is. It is not insurmountable.

People do not have to understand absolutely everything in order to relate to your experiences in important ways.

You can make connections with others, and a lot of things you have experienced will be very, very similar. Some aspects of abuse are universal. Others are very common. (One very common aspect of abuse is that there is often something about the relationship that is positive, unusual, and secret or hard to describe.). 

The people who you can relate to may be very different from you in a lot of ways. They may be a different age, ethnicity, religion, race, gender, or culture than you. Maybe they are disabled and you aren’t. Maybe their disability is different, or more severe, than yours. Maybe the particular horrors they faced took a different shape. That matters, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

It is ok to relate to the experiences of people who are very different from you. It is not appropriation. (It is not ok to pretend that your experiences are identical; but it’s completely possible to relate without doing that.) Don’t let anyone tell you to only listen to people who are just like you. We all need each other.

People may be trying to isolate you, but you are not alone. Other people can and do understand and care about the ways in which you are getting hurt.

DRAMIONE APPRECIATION WEEK (Day Six) Picspam

""Dammit, Draco, what else was I supposed to do?" She could taste tears at the corners of her mouth. "I can’t win, can I? What can I do?"

"Stay here!"

"NO! When are you going to get it into your head? I. Am. Leaving! And there is nothing you can do about it! Why can’t you just accept that?""

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He blurted heedlessly, his face crumpling up in complete agony, and Hermione fell into awestruck silence.

He leaned forward and gripped the table, and she thought he might be crying, but he was hunched over and his fringe was shielding his eyes. She could see his shoulders trembling though, like his body was trying to manage, and her absent gaze dropped down to the straining veins sticking out of his arms, and then to his death-white knuckles. He was breathing heavily; she could hear him sucking in each harsh breathe between his gritted teeth, and when he swallowed, it was more of a stifled choking sound, like the noise a near-death animal would make, and it tore right through her.

All of energy seemed to gush out of him, and he sank down to the floor, crumbling, exhausted, and deflated. Hermione was moving then, oblivious to the glass shards stabbing at the soles of her feet before she knelt down in front of him and tried to hold his face in her hands. He yanked his head away but she persisted, clutching his face firmly enough that she thought his sharp cheekbones might slit her thumbs. Bringing her face close to his, she sought his eyes, frowning when she realised they were pink, his lashes damp, lips tight, and jaw clenched so much she worried he might chip his teeth.

"I know," she told him gently. "I know you do, and I love you—"

"Then don’t go—"

IsolationChapter 38

Text
Photo
Quote
Link
Chat
Audio
Video