12 New Irish Toasts for St. Patrick's Day 2014
May you never have to wear a polo shirt in an official capacity.
May all alumni fundraising letters get sent to your old address.
May the old bands you go see never play anything from their new album.
May all your unplanned pregnancies be bluffs related to extortion attempts.
May your good grandma live longer than the bad grandma.
May your high school friends never invite you to Kickstart anything.
May the drive through guy mess up and give you free fries every time.
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