anonymous asked:

I'm really nervous about collage. I hated high school, well the people. I'm really REALLY shy and I'm scared I have really bad social anxiety. Any tips? I've avoided going to collage for three years because of that.

From my experience alone, I can tell you college is so much better than high school, especially if you have social anxiety.

Let me list some reasons:

1) Bathrooms - You don’t need to ask your professors to go to the bathroom.

2) Introversion - You don’t need to make friends. For my first two years of college I was putting myself down because I didn’t/couldn’t make friends with anyone (not that I actually tried very hard). Then I realized, I was okay with that. It was also that time when I discovered my love of books and found a lovely spot in my library that faced my campus’ garden and I felt happy. I could do what I want, eat what I want, and not worry about needing someone else’s company because I was happy.

3) Email - Professors are more open to answering things on email than high school teachers are. I was never the guy to raise my hand and ask questions but with email, those things are easier.

4) Clubs - I’m going to be honest with you, I have never been to a college club and wouldn’t know how to find them in my college if I had to but maybe you can find people have who have the same interest as you and that would be the icebreaker/similar interest and you can make friends like that.

5) Self-reliant - For me being alone means I am self-reliant. I don’t have any friends to lean on or help me and I have to work harder and be better. That may sound rough but it will make you better. For me when my back is against the wall and it’s all on me I improve. Like I said my first 2 semesters I was down on myself for not having friends but then I embraced it and attacked school and getting good grades and I jumped my grade from a C to an A.


All in all, my college experience is leaps and bounds better than my high school experience. And hey if you ever need help or anything you can just send me an ask or something. Also I cannot recommend this book more read: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, that book changed my life and changed how I see myself in context of the world around me.

When anything is blocking my head or there’s worry in my life, I just go sit in Mars or something and look back here at Earth. All you can see is this tiny speck. You don’t see the fear. You don’t see the pain. You don’t see thought. It’s just one solid speck. Then nothing really matters. It just doesn’t.
—  Heath Ledger 


Some backstory: LONG AGO IN A LAND FAR AWAY (boston, massachusetts), I became an Enforcer at PAX as exposure therapy for my fear of large crowds, and I continue to work in events to this day. I still have trouble with that fear every now and again, and conventions can be very draining to my introverted nature. 

Despite all that crap, I carry on. I love my geekspace friends, and large events are worthwhile both for my career and as upkeep for the ongoing battle against my anxiety.

When I get home, I require a little time to recharge the ol’ Introvert Battery before I am happy and comfy again. In fact, I am wrapping up this post from a small conference room where I am having an Introvert Recharging Hour:


Everyone is different, but this is what I do when I need to replenish my mental juices (gross?). Maybe it’ll help you!

  • Decide what you can put off until you feel better, and what you can’t. Your friends should understand that you don’t want to go out to tha club tonight. Go through your calendar for the rest of the week and see if you can shift things around to better suit your recovery. Not everything is flexible, and dang man, that’s just how adulthood goes. But if you can skip spin class in favor of sitting in your room and watching Adventure Time, maybe that is what you should do.
  • Warn everyone. If you’re comfortable, tell people who are close to you or with whom you interact regularly what is up with your brain. Most reasonable people will understand what you’re going through. I like saying, “I just got done with a few days of crowds and loudness, and it was very mentally draining for me. Could we do this meeting remotely/talk about this in a bit/hang out next week instead?" Some people will be jaunty dickhats, it’s true, but people who prioritize themselves over your very necessary self-care aren’t really worth it.
  • Call in the cavalry. Again, I am stupid lucky. I have a small crew of a few very close friends that I can trust to listen to me kvetch or send me Dragon Age tumblr smut when I feel crappy. If you are fortunate enough to have someone like that in your life, this is an appropriate time to share the burden. KVETCH LONG AND HARD, MY FRIEND
  • Have a self-care hour every day, if you have the time. Eat a bunch of food. Watch a bunch of Netflix. Hug a cat, human, pillow, or rolled up blanket. Light some candles. Give yourself a pedicure. Whatever makes you feel good, do that thing for one hour a day, or ten minutes a day. Just block out whatever small amount of time you can and do something nice to yourself.

Well Anon, I sure hope you feel better soon. Please remember: You are worth whatever time and care it takes to make you feel better. <3 you babe

Good luck; Have fun. 

thedirty-dirty-puppies-stars asked:

How do you deal with people making a point of publicly highlighting how quiet you are or asking why you're so quiet. I always feel like they are shaming me and I just want to tell them that if i had something to say I would say it but it feels rude.

Them: “You’re so quiet!”
Me: “Hahah, yep… *continues being quiet / playing with my phone*”

If I care enough, I fall into interviewer mode.
Them: “You’re so quiet!”
Me: “Yeah, I can be. So, how’s your job/hobby/whatever going?”

I usually don’t find people saying that to have mean and shaming intent. Lots of people just feel awkward about silence and want that to stop. Though as a teen, I remember other teens doing that in a jerk way (and sadly, at the time I was not so good at the come backs). So, if I were in that situation and felt they were being jerks it might be something like…

Them: "You’re so quiet and therefore terrible!"
Me: “Well, you’re talking enough for the both of us!”

Me: “That’s because you’re boring. Please be more entertaining.”

The thing about both of my flippant replies is they pin it back on the questioner. It is the questioner whose expectations you’re not meeting. That says more about them than you. There is no mandated “correct” amount of talking.

Does anyone else think that they’re just always trying to end a conversation with someone because you’re incredibly uncomfortable talking to acquaintances? And when you do start getting into a conversation, the other person tries to end it because they literally have no idea what you’re talking about or it’s too much of a strange topic for them and now you feel even worse because you tried?

Acquaintances are the worst concept.

I’m an introvert by nature which, for so much of my life, I thought being an introvert was a really negative thing. I thought, like oh it means that I don’t know how to socialise, which isn’t true! An introvert knows how to socialise, it just makes them tired.
—  still one of the best things Grace Helbig has ever said.

Eventhough ENFPs loves being around people, they crave alone time much more than the average extrovert. ENFPs search for a deeper meaning in just about everything, and use their much-coveted alone time to decide how their experiences fit in with their system of core values. it’s not psychological disorder, it’s just about some of them modified to have balance extro-intro function. ENFPs “The truly Ambivert”