A little PSA - about 'intimidation'

// I don’t think people realize how much it hurts when people say they are too intimidated to talk  or play with another roleplayer. Personally -  it makes me feel unbelievably shitty. Like I’m in this ‘popular position with a crown on my head.’ I never wanted that, for anyone to feel like I would ridicule them or feel like they weren’t good enough to interact with me. And I don’t want that. Ever. I want everyone to be welcome to playing with me.

Some of the people I want to play with the most are too scared to talk to me and that hurts more when you watch them play with others and you have to remember that you are a terrifying presence and - they have to find another of your character to play that they aren’t intimidated by. Then you just feel replaced in a way - because I’m not scary and I try so hard to be welcoming to anyone who wants to plot or play or write a starter, send a meme, forge a friendship. By the end of the day you feel pretty fucking lonely because you’re on some pedestal not to be touched- and you never wanted to be on that. It just really sucks to be left out and not have close friends or awesome plots and development because they see themselves as so low and you feel like you scare people off.

Intimidated is NOT a compliment. I get annoyed and really hurt when people constantly tell me they feel like they are bothering me, when that’s not the case at all.

It’s really horrible when people say you are 'popular'. Because suddenly you’re seen as unattainable. Suddenly everyone is afraid of you and no one dares approach you like they used to because they’re intimidated or something else. People come to you and follow but they never do speak to you, no matter how many opportunities you present.

You’re popular in numbers, yeah, but you might as well be covered in white paint and pressed against a wall. What’s the point of even having followers if hardly any of them even approach you?

PS:You’re the best “insert character here”, “You’re better than—”, “I’m unworthy to rp with you” and “You’re so good, I don’t know how to respond” followed by never responding are not compliments. They’re actually, in my eyes, insults and the cause of my random depressing fits every two weeks when I want to RP with everyone only to get THAT as my answer.

How to Intimidate People

It started in the playground, where that sweaty bully dished out bad insults and made you feel like a putz. Years later, you’re still being intimidated: on the street at night, in job interviews, at pickup basketball games, when someone says something nasty to you in the bar—in all these situations you’re stuck being the victim rather than the aggressor, the one who has to back down while your tormentor grins that shit-eating grin at you. Don’t you wish there was a way to shut him or her up, to force that clown into a humiliating retreat? Not by throwing a punch, of course, since that could end with you in a jail cell or badly beaten or both. You’re going to win this fight without it ever becoming a fight.

The problem is, not everybody has a natural knack for intimidation. Practice makes perfect, but since firsthand research in this field can be slightly hazardous, I thought I’d get some pointers from a group of individuals who are skilled in getting the bullies of life to back the fuck off.

VICE does not advocate the use of violence or illegal activity, nor do we advise you to put yourself into a position of danger.

Click through below to read intimidation tips from:

Do you ever wait till last second, till you’re alone, and then completely collapse into your bed, to cry your whole scattered soul out. Feeling the small, small, fragile, insecure person you actually are.
But then - you have to go, you put yourself together, put your clothes and make - up on and there you go…
When you walk in the room, it will always be full of friendly- charm and grounded confidence. And people are drawn to you. That’s how they all see you -nowadays. As this big, charming, lovely personality. Talented, smart, friendly and totally loved. Intimidating.
Yes, some are intimated, others are jealous? And it hurts me. What would you be jealous about? If I fought and cried myself into the person I am today.
And I’m still crying.
During a demonstration, masks (gas masks, goggles, scarves, scuba masks, filter masks, and sunglasses) minimize the effects of tear gas and pepper spray, as well as obscure one’s identity. Extremists also employ shields (trash can lids, sheets of plexiglass, truck tire inner tubes, etc.) and body protection equipment (layered clothing, hard hats and helmets, sporting equipment, life jackets, etc.) to protect themselves against law enforcement officials during marches. Intimidation techniques such as videotaping and the swarming of police officers are used to hinder the arrest of other demonstrators. Activists seldom carry identification papers and may refuse to divulge any information about themselves or other protesters.
—  Federal Bureau of Investigation, FBI Intelligence Bulletin No. 89 (October 15, 2003)
On the way home from Wal-Mart...

I drove by the parking lot of a restaurant. I heard the screaming of a man, “Suck my ****, you bitch!” and I looked over, stopping my car. The street was not a major one. There was no traffic around me. I stared at the man. He had backed a woman up against the car and was very close to her, screaming profanities. When he looked up and noticed me staring through my rolled-up window, he yelled “WHAT?”

I decided it was part of my duty to make sure that this man wasn’t going to hurt the woman he was yelling at. I turned around in a nearby parking lot, entered the parking lot where the man and woman were, and got out of my car. I walked calmly over to the man who was easily a foot taller than me and could probably bench press twice my weight. I peered around him to the woman. “Are you alright?” She nodded. I stared up at the man. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” 

"My problem is that nosy little bitches like you can’t stay out of other people’s business!" He stepped closer to me, as to intimidate me. I didn’t blink.

"Sir, you are screaming violently at another person in public. You have made it the business of every person walking or driving by.”

"You think you’re tough, do ya?" He sneered and stepped closer to me, purposely trying to loom over me and make me step back. I did not step back. I simply tilted my neck so that I could still make eye contact with him.

"No, sir. I am very aware that I am not as strong as you in body, but it does take a weak intellect to think that towering over someone gives you power over anyone you may encounter."

"Wh- are you calling me stupid?"

The woman speaks up, “Please hon, just leave.” She casts a wary glance at the man. That was enough evidence for me that this man can get violent when angered enough.

The man puffs out his chest. “Yeah, leave. Mind your own damn business.”

"No, I think I’ll wait here for a bit."

He moves a bit closer. “Leave.

"This is a public place, sir. I will not leave. I will wait for you to depart without this young woman."

He scoffs and glares at me. A few minutes pass and he realizes that I was not joking. He grudgingly leaves and the woman hugs me before getting in her car and driving off.

I could have kept driving. I could have just stayed in my car and watched. I could have gotten hurt if this guy was stupid enough to get violent with me, but we need to start standing up for our fellow human beings. We need to make those who would hurt others realize that raising their voice will not get them their way. Pass it on. Don’t walk by. Stand up.