Someone said that Brian May is overrated, and behold - here’s a list of reasons why.
Secondly, look at his hair. The poodle look might have been great in 1973, but not today. Or yesterday. It appears he and his squeeze, Anita Dobson, have interchangeable heads, a bit like Worzel fucking Gummidge.
Third, he wears wooden clogs. What a bell-end. I remember James Whale wearing red clogs on TV once and I instantly developed a deep and bitter loathing for the man. (Perhaps Anita was complaining he “needed a few more inches” and he misunderstood?)
Fourth, he’s an astronomer. The only heavenly bodies a rock musician should know about are the legions of groupies he’s fucked. Which obviously, Brian hasn’t. I can imagine him knocking on the dressing room wall about the noise when he’s trying to watch the Sky at Night. The tedious cunt. I like my rock stars to be larger than life, witty and charismatic (Ray Davies and Pete Townshend for example) not posh twats who went back to finish their degrees after they became successful. Just “for something to fall back on if it all ends tomorrow”, no doubt. What a shame Queen DIDN’T grind to a halt before the whole sorry bandwagon got started, I know someone who saw them supporting Mott the Hoople circa 1973 and he reckoned they were “just a very poor Led Zeppelin imitation”.
Also, Brian is no name for a cunting rock star. Say Brian to anyone in England and they either think of the snail from the Magic Roundabout or Brian of Nazareth, who wasn’t the messiah. Playing a guitar made out of bits of fireplace? OK, so his Dad and him made it themselves, which no doubt helped them ‘bond’ or whatever, but he’s a cunt for not retiring it quietly as soon as he could buy a REAL guitar. I refuse to believe that he and his pa are better luthiers than Gibson or Fender’s finest, and I’m sure the old boy wouldn’t have been offended if Bri had used it to get started then ditched it, so really there was no need to cart it round the world for years on tour. I bet his guitar tech hates the fucking thing, he knows if anything falls off it, he’s going to get the blame, and where will he find a replacement 1938 fireplace piece? He doesn’t use a plectrum, he uses a coin, a sixpence. Not a 10p piece, no, a fucking sixpence, a coin out of circulation for 40 years. Cunt. Make that PRETENTIOUS cunt.
The first bit is just so funny. Don’t even get me started on his guitar playing because he’s my favourite guitar played. And I’m not just saying it because Queen is my favourite band. Musically, as a bloody guitarist, he’s my favourite guitarist. So don’t get me started. And why the fuck would you throw away a guitar you’re attached to?
Also, don’t get me started on this “Led Zeppelin imitation” bullshit.