I've made some huge mistakes

Truly Awful Movies I’ve Watched Because of Actors I Have Loved (inspired by this post)

Wes Bentley - The Ungodly and The Last Word

Gael García Bernal - El Crimen del Padre Amaro

Helena Bonham Carter - Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

Chris Evans - The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond

Jake Gyllenhaal - The Good Girl, Moonlight Mile, and Prince of Persia

David Hewlett - Century Hotel

Ewan McGregor - Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith

Edward Norton - Down in the Valley and Stone

Lee Pace - Possession

Andrew-Lee Potts - Return to House on Haunted Hill

Tim Robbins - Zathura

Sam Rockwell - Clownhouse, Lawn Dogs, and Jerry & Tom

Paul Rudd - Dinner for Schmucks

Adam Scott - The Return and Hellraiser: Bloodline

Gregory Smith - American Outlaws, Manson My Name Is Evil, and Hobo with a Shotgun

Nick Stahl - Bookies and Sleepwalking

Ryder Strong - Cabin Fever and Borderland

The goddess Rachel Weisz - Dream House

Kate Winslet & Christopher Eccleston - Jude

Kevin Zegers - The Stone Angel and The Narrows

…and the award for Worst Offender on my crush list goes to…

JASON BEHR!

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Yes. This fucking guy. A single season of cracky, guilty-pleasure bliss via Roswell gave me a lady-boner sizable enough that I IMDb-stalked him, a decision I have regretted ever since. The poor life choices I have made because of this man are as follows: The Grudge, Dragon Wars: D-War, The Last International Playboy, and Senseless. Now, that may not seem like that many, but keep in mind that he’s only been in 16 movies. Of those, only 12 weren’t made-for-TV. Of those, 11 were ones in which his character even had a name. 4 shit-tastic films out of 11 is a really bad record, son. And the only reason that first number isn’t higher is because other geeks in my life had the good sense to keep me from watching Skinwalkers and The Tattooist; otherwise, that’d be over 50% shit-tastic experience. Wear the cone of shame, Behr. WEAR THE CONE OF SHAME.

*Note: those titles marked in bold indicate films that are soul-crushingly bad. I have marked them as a preemptive measure in hopes of protecting the sanity of my fellow geeks. Do you want to see a child murder a baby and then himself? Do you want to see a dude kill his father with a shovel in front of a child (who happens to be the father’s grandchild) after the father hit her? Do you want to see a series of unrelated events that involve a rape scene for no discernible purpose? Do you want to see what happens when people let George Lucas make movies without actual writers or directors present? No. No, you don’t. SO HEED MY WORD. Because if you don’t, I will have little sympathy.

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btw insipidramblings, do you realize that I have watched at least seven of these with you?

Advanced Electroensephelographic Techniques

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Enamoratrix: you’re not mid-orgasm texting me, are you? because, given that you know that I’m not having awesome orgasms, that would be rude.

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