Song I've written for somebody

The feelings I had about you
When I saw you first time
They were indiscribeable
And I had my head in clouds

I liked your nice brown eyes
When they look at me and our eyes met
And suddenly I was in love
With you

I want to be with you for the rest of my life
And I hope that you want to be with me for the rest of your life

Im singing this song for you
Cuz I want you to know that I love you
And all you perfect imperfections
Are like love potions

It’s not done yet…but I’m working on it…

I want to be president of the united states one day so ive never smoked pot before. I ate a brownie once. It was pretty intense kind of indiscribable actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in it. It was just an insainly good brownie.
—  Leslie knope is actually me
Skip arrived!

On Monday (25th August 2014) at 3.20pm our beautiful baby boy was born! What a traumatic event that was, however the moment they handed our dear precious child up to my chest I didnt care in the slightest about the pain, discomfort, worry and frustration I had endured both in the last 7 hours but also over the last 9 months. The feeling is indiscribable and nothing prepares a parent for the moment they first see their child face to

The first 60 odd hours of our child’s life have definitely been an incredible roller coaster. Im not going to lie being a new time mummy is hard work. Your beyond tired, sore, your body is changing to meet baby’s needs. Your trying to figure out how to tend to and care for this new poppett, who not only doesnt come with an instruction manual but is completely new to the whole living thing).

This then gets you wondering what is it that keeps a tired, frustrated emotional mummy going. Well I cant speak for all mummy’s but I know for this mummy its the love and awe I feel for my darling little boy. Its my wonder at how God has created and blessed me with such an amazing little being! My heart is filled with joy at every gurgle, feed, poo, wee, watching Skip bond with his Daddy, seeing friends and family meet him for the first time. I love that in the last 60 hours our little boy has developed and learnt so much.

So yes, I’ll be honest, last night I had a truely rubbish night, my milk came in and as a result I was very engorged (like rocks). This meant most of the night I was awake, crying and trying to feed. However this morning, I’ve woken up listening to Granny and Daddy chatting away to Skip and him gurgling back. So today, as all days thus far, my joy and motivation comes from the blessing God gave us through our son Skip.

Aardvark xx

I am crying like crazy right now

And it is because of these damn “prickling” pains in my chest area, mostly centered around the left side. Doc has told me this is basically a nuisance that some people have, basically you feel phantom pains in your body, pains that aren’t there, but are, tiny tiny indiscribable pains. But they are constantly flunctuating between being there ad not being there. It is an incredible worry and it just has kept me fucking geared up like crazy. I am crying, crying so much for something that isn’t anything, but I want to go to the doctor, I want a checkup, but I am always asleep when I cna get an appointment, because I cannot keep a sleep schedule. I know its nothing, the only pain thats there in my chest and ribs now are from me prodding at it and ths aggravating the rib cage, I am just so tired of being scared. My body has become my worse bully, constantly screaming death at me…

Insomniac

I’m trying to get some sleep in my bed… I’m feeling depressive, i don’t know why, i don’t know how, but i feel it, i feel it here in my heart, or maybe in my head it’s more logic right ? Whatever, i can’t sleep, i wan’t to bit i can’t… I think aboit something particular, someone, him… I think about him That’s why ! Don’t worry it’s not love, or at least for now… “Love is friendship on fire” they said. Then i think about my friend, he’s so cute^^’ he makes me laugh even when he doesn’t say a single word, he just looks at me and i smile :) that’s wiered isn’t it ?! He’s my friend and i love him that way, not the way i love my cat or Nutella but the way i love … Actually it’s indiscribable, I love him, but i’m not IN LOVE with him i hope to fall in love with him but i’m afraid to… He loves me, but he’s not in love with me, he thinks i’m the one i think i’m the one… I send this message to you I dare you, i dare you to let me be your one an only…

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