I have a very personal relationship with my Keurig. His name’s Kevin he’s a chill ass stoner who makes a killer cup of Joe. Dude’s cool and has a cup ready for me asap in the morning. Kevin you’re awesome bro and I love you man.
How does being an inatimate object kin work? Like what does it mean to be a gemkin? How do you relate to being a gem? How do you know what it feels like to be a machine? Are there chairkins? Driveway gravelkins? Crockpotkins? Where does it stop?
The time is 2:48 AM. I havent slept in an elapsed time of 29 hours. I am beggining to talk to inatimate objects and they talk back to me. I have developed cat-like reflexes and now I have a 40/40 vision and a keen sense of smell. I can travel faster than the speed of light. I killed 5 men. I hanged my enemies. Please help me.