in-my-mind-at-least

2

projecting onto horatio lion agaiiiiiiin

sensory overload is not fun 0/10 would not recommend

it’s probably not clear what’s going on here so i guess i’ll explain the behaviour: when i get overwhelmed by noise and light and stuff going on around me (usually when i’m in a crowd, but sometimes the ‘crowd’ can just be a smallish group of family members at an aunt’s house or something), i lock up, tuck my elbows into my sides, stare blankly at the ground in front of me, drag my feet on the ground while standing in place, and make humming noises. it’s not super obvious and people don’t usually notice (they’re paying attention to all the stuff happening around us; they don’t see my foot-dragging or hear my humming)

the background is white/fuzzy because my mind kind of blanks out and often part of the problem is bright lights and idk it just feels like too much white everywhere. i hate it when there’s too much white

Being liminal has not made me feel any less a sense of who I am,
inside my mind I’m sharp and clear. I know I’m Noah,
at least as surely as I did when I was that boy who absorbed
the careless touches around him. Maybe more certain,
now that I know more about the world I spent so long brushing against,
ignoring. But it’s still hard not to feel like I’m missing out on life
when all of your pulses sing so close to your skins,
so very close to my own breathless form.

I can’t remember what my pulse felt like
as it was contained within or as it spilled out,
leaving my life to seep into the land and tie me there.
I can’t remember how my muscles ached or how heavy
my bones could be in my bed after a long day.
It’s hard to imagine the bones you know
having ever been in me at all.

That was the most painful part, beginning again,
the numbness, coming to terms with the fact that,
even after I could manifest a body, I would never feel it,
and that was worse than the year I spent as a whisper,
the whole of me living as a guilt in the back
of someone else’s conscience. Yes,
the dead know when you think of them.

Even as I press myself to you in practice,
I cannot remember what this is supposed to feel like,
the slick slide of lips over lips that made my heart race when I was alive
with its promise of more and skin and tongue and more.
I can only feel your heat, your assertive aliveness eating away
at the coldness of me. Can only feel the ramp up of energy
that always rolls in before you,
a herald with an electric blue trumpet,
sound surging through the echo I have become.

Thank you, thank you, for allowing me this.
It may be the closest I ever again come to a pulse.

Just Him And Her, A Borrowed Bed | L.E. 

casually drafts a project while computerless I’ll be making outlines of events. Each tiwn is an “arc.” They’ll be referred to by me as the Elder Arc or the Hamel Arc. How many chapters each arc has will be determined by how much of that story I feel should be covered. I will be trying to cover the important dungeons. Every Arc will assume that the secret dungeon of that area is also allowed to be completed (despite SDs not opening to us until 58). Every SD will have its own chapter. Ruben will have an SD nicknamed “William’s Story,” talking about the obvious. The outlines will not be shared for obvious reasons. I hope you guys will look forward to this! This will be my first chapter story in a while, and I may not even finish it, but it at least gives me something to keep my mind occupied and out of the gloom of depression… If you can’t read my sloppy handwriting, I’m sorry. orz

i’ve been looking into mathematical knitting a bit lately (george and i had a fun talk about it tonight, which was hilarious because neither of us knew what the other was talking about for the most part) and i guess the thing about it that frustrates me, that i’m struggling with, is that you really can’t make pretty things! i mean, there are some kind of cute, like, moebius cowls, but they’re very limited, and then there are some decorative hyperbolic surfaces, klein bottles, tauri, pseudospheres, and while they’re topologically cool…

i dunno. i guess my issue is that, and i know this isn’t a hard and fast rule, but at least in my mind, knitted things should by and large be wearable or practical in some way, and visually appealing in those functions. and like, lumpy squiggly things in garter or seed stitch, or maybe ribbing, are just, like… ugh. and, okay, i get the idea behind klein bottle hats, because technically they have a structure similar enough to hats to work in that way, but you’re never going to wear it! you’ll wear it, like, maybe once to take pictures for your ravelry page, and then to a couple math conferences, and then what? it just doesn’t make sense to me.

i just want to make pretty things that also have radical mathematical properties and some kind of utility.

wire-knit hyperbolic surfaces could actually be pretty cool for jewelry, i think. maybe in habu or something, there’s an idea.

i’m just speculating, but i think one thing that a lot of the klein bottle hats are missing out on is the opportunity to be slouchy. they tend to have the “neck” quite stiff, sticking up very conspicuously, which i get if you want to emphasize it’s klein bottleyness, but if you wanted to downplay that, i think you could make a pretty cute hat that looks more or less like a normal slouchy hat, but then you pull it off and hey! it’s a klein bottle. i dunno. maybe it wouldn’t work. i feel like it would though!

tattoo artist who can encode magic into tattoos but doesn’t want people to know she can so she just puts low-level luck spells on her clients’ bodies without telling them

jeweller who makes body jewellery and pendants which have amulet properties and draw love and luck and happiness to their wearers without them realising it

piercing artist who keeps the remnants from her piercings and puts them all in little jars in the back of her shop to work sympathetic luck spells on all her clients

and then all three of them slowly realise what the others are doing and end up in a poly relationship living in a little shop in the shitty end of town, which gets curiously less shitty the longer they stay, and people think it’s just the development of the area but the three artists know

and they’re never rich and they’re never famous but they’re always happy because they have everything they need

they have the shop and they have their customers and they have each other

and when their customers are happy and content, they pack up and move on, all together now, to find another space with skin to be coloured and jewellery to be made and magic to be done.

5

People will stare. Make it worth their while → Gareth Pugh prêt-à-porter | S/S ‘15

2

Say you’ll r e m e m b e r me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you’ll see me again even if it’s j u s t in your wildest dreams

w i l d e s t     d r e a m s

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[get to know me meme] 10 Female Characters (1/10): Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)

4

artenon wrote a beautiful kurotsuki fic, which can be read here or on ao3 and i loved every word. (please please, if you care for kurotsuki the tiniest bit, read it!!)

i drew a few of my favourite scenes, so they’re all very random and mostly not connected to each other…. tbh i would’ve drawn more but this took long enough and i had to stop at some point lol;;;

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MAKE ME CHOOSE
servant!gwen or queen!gwen, asked by mysmileispureandblood-stained