Watch on paintingmyownsky.tumblr.com

Hey guys, I’m trying this out and I really need your help. I made this video trying to get my story out there. My name is Lena and I’m 19 years old. I’m adopted from Russia and have been searching for my birth parents and sister ever since. I have never met them or seen what they look like. If you could share this video and/or give me advice or stories you may have, it would be greatly appreciated. I have no idea if this will work, but I’m trying all my options. I’m just a girl with a piece of me gone missing that I would like to find. Thanks for all your support. Please reblog and share. Thank you!!

Rule 1: Always post the rules

Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write 11 new ones

Rule 3: Tag 11 new people and link them to your post

Rule 4: Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Where do you usually sleep?

With Jimmy <3

Which character (any show, movie, book, etc.) do you relate to most and why?

I don’t really know, honestly. Maybe Meredith Grey?

What is your earliest memory?

Using the bathroom in one of my toys because my mom locked me in my room and wouldn’t let me out to go potty.

What is your worst fear; is there a reason for it?

Losing my son before I get to meet him.

Was there anything ridiculous you believed when you were little (stories, awkward explanations…)

Well, I used to think people had sex just laying next to each other. And that was it.

How many times you do log onto Tumblr daily?

Wow. A lot.

If a stranger walked up to you on the street and asks you to marry them, how would you react?

Just walk away, haha.

Where is your favourite non-internet place to be?

At home, honestly. Maybe Cincinnati.

What is one song that makes you feel great?

Stereo, Gym Class Heroes.

What is one song that makes you feel horrible/depressed?

Everything to Me, Mark Schultz.

What would you try to protect if your home caught on fire?

My boyfriend, important papers, and the pictures of my son.

1. Are you a quick or a slow reader? \

Quick.

2. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore :/

3. If you could go anywhere you want, where would you go?

Cincinnati.

4. Have you ever broken a bone?

Not really.

5. What was the last dream you had that you remember?

Making myself a sausage & sliced chicken sandwich. (Wtf?)

6. Do/Did you have good or bad grades in school?

I’ve always had horrible grades in school, even though I’m really smart.

7. If you could live any time in history, when would you live?

Probably now. I’d like to visit the past, though.

8. Do you speak any other languages other than your(?)

Not really, I speak some Latin.

9. What do you like most about your appearence?

Hmm, my eyes maybe?

10. What turns you on?

I don’t really know, but I’m big on sounds. If that makes sense.

11. What turns you off?

A lot of things. Douchebags, mostly.

Tagged: why-am-i-soo-funny, psychicdisco, immunitytotheimmune, brassknuckleglitterbitch, liethroughyourteeth, gingerisaspice, poppy-seed-bagel, distraction-etc, intothe-wildx, vanitycats, unexotic

My questions:

1. WHAT KIND OF DEODORANT DO YOU WEAR?

2. What is your favorite quote?

3. Your views on legalizing marijuana?

4. Favorite video game?

5. Favorite book or author?

6. Least favorite family member and why?

7. Something you’ve done today that was wrong/bad/didn’t make you feel good?

8. Grossest thing you’ve ever cleaned up?

9. Tell me about a stranger who was nice to you.

10. Someone you’ll never forget but will never see again?

11. Who is your go-to person when you’re upset?

Parents left who care about me:

Birth mother.

Birth father.

Adopted mother.

Adopted father.

Stepdad.

I didn’t think I’d have to cross you off the list too, ever, but you just confirmed it tonight. I heard what you said to me, loud and clear. I get it. You don’t have to pretend anymore. I understand. It’s my fault anyways; for getting my hopes up that you actually cared about me. But that’s my own stupid misjudgment. You don’t. I shouldn’t have had such expectations. Because once again, I’m let down.

Tonight I was talking to a lady, sitting in front of me, I’d never met before. She was wearing this sweatshirt that I really liked. I complimented her on it and told her how I was from Russia. I asked her where she got it, so that maybe i could go buy one. She told me that they weren’t for sale and turned around. I continued watching the show and she began to take the sweatshirt off. Then before I even knew it she handed it to me and told me I could have it. I insisted that she keep it or at least let me pay for it. She looked me in the eyes, smiled, and said, “really, keep it” , and turned back again once more. I could tell she meant it with everything she had. A few seconds later she put a helmet on her head, and it was just then I found out she was seizure prone and missing part of her brain. My heart sunk. It amazes me how someone who has so little and is suffering can be so incredibly giving to others. She has it rough, but she still chooses to give. I’ve never met someone so inspiring before. I have so much respect for her and I can’t thank her enough. I’m so lucky to have met such an inspiring woman.

My thoughts, not that they mean anything.

I guess I could type some big extravagant thing; using words that even I don’t truly understand. I could add unnecessary punctuation and fancy italics to draw attention on certain parts. I could write all fancy swirling the letters and making them flow. I could make it lengthy and so detailed that you could picture every word precisely.

 But you see, none of that is necessary. For such an in depth thought, only a few words are needed. The less complex I try to make it, the more real it becomes. And that is all that matters in the end. 

Just because

Just because I buy a book on self harm, doesn’t mean I’m cutting.

Just because I like being alone, doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong.

Just because I like the colors blue, purple, and black doesn’t mean I like the dark.

Just because I like my nails black, doesn’t mean I’m scene.

Just because I smile, doesn’t mean I’m lying.

Just because I skip meals, doesn’t mean I’m starving myself.

Just because I laugh, doesn’t mean I’m not hurting.

Just because I’m defensive, doesn’t mean I’m hiding anything.

Just because of one thing, don’t assume another.

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