illegitimate

Illegitimate Doppleganger Theory

“…Every time they saw me they’d just go mad, one of the nurses couldn’t even look at me because he thought I looked so like her,” Orla is telling us this out of the side of her mouth in her lovely Tipperary drawl.
“When it would happen I would try and preempt it and say ‘I know. I look like Sarah.’ I’ve never met her, she and her husband moved to Australia just before I started working in the hospital, but I’ve seen pictures.”
“And so you think you look like her?”
“Oh yeah. I saw a photo and it was uncanny, which is an odd thing to say about yourself.” She says with her odd, self-deprecating laugh.
“Huh.”
“Then someone told me she was from my town!”
“Really?!”
“Yeah, someone made a joke about inbreeding in rural villages. I told my mother about it and it turned out that I had been referring to her by her married name. Mum knew Sarah’s family. In fact her parents are good friends of my parents, they play golf and stuff, mum thought it was hilarious…. And then I found out Dad knew Sarah’s mum before he met mum.”
“Oh god. Are you saying…?”
“Yeah, I think Sarah might be my half sister.”
“Jesus.”
“Dad didn’t say anything when I mentioned our similar appearance, which I took as an admission of guilt.”
“What about your mum?”
“She thinks it’s hilarious- she brought it up with Sarah’s mum and then invited them over the next time I was home. Sarah’s mum said she didn’t see any resemblance and introduced me to her husband saying ‘this is the girl who thinks she looks like Sarah.’ As though I had made the whole thing up!”

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On this day in History → Anne Boleyn, the Queen of England, is executed (d. 19 May, 1536)

Anne Boleyn was Henry VIII’s second wife, who is known for being one of the reasons Henry annulled his first marriage with Catherine of Aragon and broke with Papal authority to lead the Church of England, making her a key figure in the English reformation. Anne was charged with adultery, incest and high treason - charges that are now considered unjust and ‘unconvincing’ - and was sentenced to death on the 15th of May. Four days later, Anne was executed by a French swordsman. It only took a single stroke, and Anne was dead. Her body was buried in an old elm wood arrow chest in the Chapel of St Peter ad Vincula. Her grave was unmarked until 1876. 

Anne was Queen for three years, bearing one daughter. That daughter, who was declared illegitimate while Anne was awaiting execution, would become Elizabeth I. 

- John Churchill Chase
A cartoon in Chase’s ‘Frenchmen, Desire, Good Children’ shows the saints mitigating a fight between French royals.

“The cartoon represents the fact that various sectors of French royalty were suspicious of each other and always struggling with one another for power. So when streets were named for royals, they were separated by a street named for a saint,” Chapman said. “What do you do with a live wire? You insulate it with rubber. And the 'saint streets’ served as a kind of insulator, if you will.”

That’s why Dumaine Street, which Chapman says was named for an illegitimate son of Louis XIV, was boxed in on one side by St. Philip Street and on the other, by St. Ann. It’s also why Toulouse Street, named for another illegitimate son, was flanked by St. Peter and St. Louis.“

- http://www.nola.com/education/index.ssf/2010/11/roads_scholars.html

The Bluth Family as the Greek Gods

People made some really great lists for this au scenario so I decided to make mine.

  • Lucille - Hera - Queen of the gods, she was extremely jealous of the many affairs of her husband Zeus. She took terrible revenge on the girlfriends and illegitimate children of her husband.
  • George Sr - Zeus - The superior king of the gods
  • Lindsay - Aphrodite - Goddess of love and beauty
  • Buster - Poseidon - The moody god of the sea
  • Michael - Hermes - The cunning god of the trade, business, travel, also messenger of the gods
  • Gob - Aristaeus - Minor patron god of fruit trees and animal husbandry, credited with the discovery of many useful arts, including bee-keeping.
  • Maeby - Athena - The sophisticated goddess of war and cunning wisdom
  • George Michael - Apollo - The youthful god of music and sun
  • Tobias - Dionysus - Dionysus was the fun loving god of high spirits, strong emotions and wine. He is also closely associated with drama and the theatre.
  • Oscar - Eros - God of love, lust, sex.
youtube

lol I love when they slip adult messages in kid cartoons.

Octavia and Bellamy’s mom: gave the responsibility of raising her illegitimate daughter to her five year old son Bellamy

Murphy’s mom: abusive alcoholic, blamed John for his father’s death and choked on her own vomit right after

Raven’s mom: wasn’t a present mother, traded her daughter’s rations for moonshine

Someone in the writers room really needs to talk to their mother ASAP

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1536-Anne Boleyn is executed for treason at the Tower of London, her only living child, Elizabeth, is declared illegitimate and removed from the line of succession

1554- Lady Elizabeth is released from the Tower of London and put under house arrest at Woodstock, in 1558 she succeeds her sister Mary as Queen of England, she will rule for 44 years

3. Ann is advocating that we put more of a focus on discouraging illegitimate children, — Who the hell are you to describe a human being as “illegitimate” because you don’t agree with the circumstances of their birth. They don’t need your approval to be legitimate beings in this universe.

4. It is undeniable, when looking at the data, that unwanted/poorly cared-for/single-parent children are causing the majority of problems in society. — The data measures how “wanted” and “cared for” the children are? No? I thought not. You data only breaks out “single-parent,” which you have equated with “unwanted” and “poorly cared for” due to your own bigoted notion that impoverished single parents don’t want their children and take shitty care of them.

— 

misterhippity on the bigot Ann Coulter, via doctordisaster

Well said.