"And what have you to tell me now?" There was a cold sadness in the old woman’s voice that had only been heard in those early days with Uther. Those days where it had been a challenge for her to get out of bed in the morning. Those days when she would disappear within herself for hours at a time… The hard days. The first days.
It was a look that she gave her eldest daughter, a look of a broken soul.” What have you come to say that I do not already know? Have you come to gloat about your triumph? That the son of Uther is dead?”
Igraine stood and approached her daughter, a stare that could hold any creature fixed in its position upon the fair aged face.” Have you any good news? Have they found my Cador, or any of your boys? Or are they
lying face down in ditches like we both know they are.”
“Do you think I wanted this?” She questioned,” that it would make me or your Tad proud? All this killing and hate?!” Her voice, though dark, was deathly quiet.” But how could you know any different? I taught you what it was for a woman to survive. I taught you smarts, and plotting, for what other power could a woman possess?”
Igraine blinked tears away before continuing on,” what do you think I did it for, Morgause? Why do you think I married him? Do not say that I had no choice. I had choice. I had the choice to refuse him and spend my life and yours as a prisoner of war. To pay the ‘debt’ of treason however he saw fit. I could not bear to see my children rot. Or worse. To be used as slaves or something of the like until they ended up where my love is! I could not bear to put one more person where I cannot reach them! So I made him promise that if I married him that all of you would have inheritance. That you would want for not and be secure. And he kept that promise!”
The Lady Igraine was near shaking with grief, it was a wonder her her voice was so even.” That was my choice! My sacrifice! So tell me what did I do it for? You all are ending up where I tried to keep you from! What did I do it for!?” Finally, her voice had cracked. Tears rolled freely down her face. Her voice fell to a whisper,”Tell me what I did it for?” Her arms reached out a and she embraced her daughter, whispered, “Where is Mordred, my darling? Where is my boy?”