idk anything

literally every time i post art its like a tiny cry of PLEASE VALIDATE ME PLEASE TELL ME WHY IM VALUABLE AND WHY THE THINGS I DO ARE VALUABLE but most of the time (bcause i obsessively check tags. like OBSESSIVELY) im met with an overabundance of “cute!” which has left me feeling like…..thats all there is to me and like im painfully one note and boring and only good for like 2 seconds of feel good b4 the viewer moves onto the next thing

okay what’s the problem with misophonia

first things first- I’m writing this solely because of my own experiences, as I would like to be clear that I only wish people to understand or try to understand why sometimes I’m acting the way I do.

misophonic people can’t stand various sounds. it depends, it may be chewing (esp gum), high-pitched sounds from tv , even breathing. It is very individual matter, and sometimes is accompanied by triggers from seeing repetitive, rapid movements, such as twitching leg, smbd’s mouth while they eat, tapping fingers.
misophonia is an disorder. being confronted with particular trigger may cause a vast variety of negative emotions- especially anger, anxiety and urge to break things hard. the sounds you are sensitive to stab you right in your head, sometimes echo for a moment or longer periods of time. scratches, stabs, stings. whatever, it makes you sad, it makes you uneasy, it makes you furious.

it annoys your mind, you get easily irritated and vulnerable to feeling anger

whenever there’s a trigger there will be naturally the urge to “run away” from it. you don’t want to be outraged, you don’t want to be on nerves again, you don’t want to be a dick. not because of the source, but the sound alone.

That’s why whenever misophonic person doesn’t want to sit next to you while you’re eating it’s not because they don’t enjoy your company- they want to avoid the sounds you’re making. And what’s important in this sentence- the sound, not you. You play no role in this disorder. Clap your hands, I repeat, in case of misophonia it is not a personal matter. I have been trashing myself for feeling anger around my friends making noises, but it drives me equally mad whenever people I honestly despise trigger me.

whenever I put my headphones on, it’s not because I feel bored or don’t enjoy your company, it’s because I don’t want to boil with this hollow rage

whenever I ask you to stop twitching your leg, it’s not because of you, it’s because I don’t want our moments to be unpleasant

whenever I have to stand a little further from you, please don’t get offended. it’s not about you, it’s about this fucking disorder

remember degrassi tng. like. the earlier seasons.

remember manny and how hard she got slut shamed the entire time she was on there. and she was usually slut shamed by the ‘underdog’ girls like ellie. therefore, pitting the rest of the characters against her so they would slut shame her too. but they kept giving her more episodes and putting her through all this shit and she kept pushing through and being badass af and i loved her sm. 

I really don’t like when people get frustrated with others who are rude about issues (e.g. Feminism, homosexuality or transgender inclusiveness etc etc) because they are ignorant. I think the best thing to do is try to explain why those issues are important and spread your love and knowledge! Being mean and impatient will not improve their attitude u know I just feel we were all partially ignorant once and have educated ourselves and should pass it on! You know? Idk.