okay what’s the problem with misophonia
first things first- I’m writing this solely because of my own experiences, as I would like to be clear that I only wish people to understand or try to understand why sometimes I’m acting the way I do.
misophonic people can’t stand various sounds. it depends, it may be chewing (esp gum), high-pitched sounds from tv , even breathing. It is very individual matter, and sometimes is accompanied by triggers from seeing repetitive, rapid movements, such as twitching leg, smbd’s mouth while they eat, tapping fingers.
misophonia is an disorder. being confronted with particular trigger may cause a vast variety of negative emotions- especially anger, anxiety and urge to break things hard. the sounds you are sensitive to stab you right in your head, sometimes echo for a moment or longer periods of time. scratches, stabs, stings. whatever, it makes you sad, it makes you uneasy, it makes you furious.
it annoys your mind, you get easily irritated and vulnerable to feeling anger
whenever there’s a trigger there will be naturally the urge to “run away” from it. you don’t want to be outraged, you don’t want to be on nerves again, you don’t want to be a dick. not because of the source, but the sound alone.
That’s why whenever misophonic person doesn’t want to sit next to you while you’re eating it’s not because they don’t enjoy your company- they want to avoid the sounds you’re making. And what’s important in this sentence- the sound, not you. You play no role in this disorder. Clap your hands, I repeat, in case of misophonia it is not a personal matter. I have been trashing myself for feeling anger around my friends making noises, but it drives me equally mad whenever people I honestly despise trigger me.
whenever I put my headphones on, it’s not because I feel bored or don’t enjoy your company, it’s because I don’t want to boil with this hollow rage
whenever I ask you to stop twitching your leg, it’s not because of you, it’s because I don’t want our moments to be unpleasant
whenever I have to stand a little further from you, please don’t get offended. it’s not about you, it’s about this fucking disorder