It seems that being a ruthless dictator DOES have its perks. Idi Amin (the crazy guy from Uganda so exquisitely portrayed by Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland) not only slaughtered the masses but also managed to confer upon himself a bevy of titles, a list so long that it eventually became this absurd monstrosity:
"His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular"
A close second place goes to Zairian dictator Mobutu, who gave himself the title:
Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga (“The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake.”)
The first person to confer upon me a title as amazing as either of theirs gets a prize. No it’s not cookie dough. OK maybe it’s cookie dough.