So, Julius Caesar ordered Little Caesar’s pizza for all his buds, enough for one slice each, including himself. But by the time he got to the party all the pizza was gone. By process of elimination, he realized that Brutus must have taken the last slice, so shocked and disappointed, he turned to his friend and said, “Ate two, Brute?”
“Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!”
Beware the Ides of March… and the angry Gretchen Wieners.
“Remember March, the ides of March remember:
Did not great Julius bleed for justice’ sake?
What villain touch’d his body, that did stab,
And not for justice? What, shall one of us
That struck the foremost man of all this world
But for supporting robbers, shall we now
Contaminate our fingers with base bribes,
And sell the mighty space of our large honours
For so much trash as may be grasped thus?
I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon,
Than such a Roman.”