There are too many stories about this girl so i’ll just tell you all about her instead.

She is some wkdy hotd0g that has stalked me since i was 2 and over the years has managed to stay in my life which is very rare. She is also a paedo because she is older than me, but i reckon she really fancies me. She always likes everything on my facebook account. She has a shit blog (joke please don’t kill me leanne) but i love her anyway. We have really mint names for each other that nobody understands. She is breathtakingly beautiful and i want her eyes. She has an obsession with New Look and would spend every minute of every day shopping in there if she could. Oh and she’s really beefy.

I love leanne hotdog hilter elgar ken baby raper spekybun timmy gregs cookie schnozzle schnizzle schnazzle  beef jerky smifftaaaaa gay bean animal lover beautiful lady balloon carrier chase the sun sonic the hedgehog smith zxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx 


Leanne hitlar timmy tommy smiffaz schnozzle schnizzle schnazzle speky hotdog spekpot tamwar jeff lynn greggs cookie chicken bake bbq sauce giant enemy crap baby raper sorry we’re closed lolage badger  buss pass cat mushroom tea party pigeon bottle top smoking street corner glass chewing Smith, YOU ARE BEEFY. You actually make me laugh so much that sometimes i actually think i’m going to wee myself. You’re so dopy and gulliable bless you, but that just makes everything even more hilarious. We have the actual coolest names for eachother and there’s probably a million that i’ve left out because there’s so many. I remember when we used to proper hammer those sounds on msn and just sit and laugh at them all night. I’ve known you for 13 years and we’re still friends which is weird, but i just can’t seem to get rid of you. I remember when we were in infants and i helped you move into the house that you live in now, and you tripped me over on the gravel and i cut all my face and looked like the phantom of the opera for about a month, and even now when i get too hot i still get a red patch under my eye because of it. I have loads of pictures of us from when we were babies and you had an actual afro and i was practically bald with just one massive curl at the front; And i remember in nursery when you used to tell me that if i didn’t pick all of the glue off my hands i would die, i never listened to you though, AND WELL I WAS RIGHT BECAUSE I’M STILL ALIVE. We always used to argue over who would get to be which polly pocket because nobody ever wanted to be the ginger one, but you were a spoilt brat and always ended up getting the blonde one. We’ve always been in the same class which almost never happens. I remember in juniors when i had long hair like a hippy and you used to bray it back in a bun and wear them fucking LUSH headbands. Although we’ve always been friends it was only really when we started sscs that we became proper close, even more so over the last year or so, but you’ve always been there for me when i’ve needed you and vice versa. I can tell you anything and you always either give me advice or just laugh and tell me to shut up and stop being stupid. You always keep me organised and make sure i get to school on time because i’m completely hopeless with stuff like that. You only live round the corner from me and i remember when we used to ‘play out’ and go and buy banana’s from sainsbury’s. We have so many stupid memories and i could actually go on forever talking about them all. I remember when we were going to the beach one day and i wanted to go to asda for a drink, but because i’m such a tit i tried to skip and fell over in the middle of the street and cut my knee and you just stood and laughed at me for about 10 minutes before you helped me get up. You are a proper lush hun and i wouldn’t even change you for the world. I remember the first time we went to sunderland and we went with my mam, and we thought we were proper mint because she let us go shopping by ourselves; I also love how we still haven’t grown up since then because just last night when we were on the rope swing in the park we had a similar conversation about how cool we were being out 'late’ on a school night ahaha. Everytime we go out, we find some fucking stunners and we always have loads of boyfriends. We just laugh at everything and nothing because we’re so easily amused. You always tell me off for doing daft things like lying in sand graves aha. When you get famous with your lush raps and your cover of halelujah (which is better than the original) we are going to make a mix tape, okay brav? This post is getting ridiculously long but there’s about a billion more things that i want to write about. We are reallt talened dances and our trademark moves include STOMPING, ping pong, walking the dog, petting the dog, washing and the chernobyl child and we like to mission round sima showing off our moves. I remember when derek elliot used to sniff the bins at the busstop, and we used to laugh at all of his family in his car just to take him to school EVEN THE DOG. We also used to smoke bottle tops, chew glass and hang round street corners. On christmas day you’re going to buy your phone from the liquor lodge because it’s the only place that’s open ;) OH AND WE ARE BOTH LUSH CARS. Your makeup always looks proper lush when you wear your blue eyeshadow. 'ıeɑnneıikessomeoneıoɑds’(: :@^o)’ PROPER CLASS ACT YOU LIKE. Erm you fancy billy. We make great chippendale dancers. We listen to great music like mc smally and dj boonie, and we both believe there is a gif for everything. Every day we find something new to laugh about, like when the bus driver stops for 10 minutes to fiddle with his tickets. I always buy you fucking mint birthday presents because i’m a top lass, and on your birthday we had a slush party at whiteleas shops because that’s how special you are to us. We have silly inside jokes that not even our bestfriends understand because we’re both so retarded. Today was the worst experience of my life on that stupid bus, somebody even threw a shoe, but then it ended up hilarious just because of your reactions to everything. For christmas you promised to get me a hello kitty camera (don’t think i’ll forget about that) and i always sleep in your bed, play you songs and cook you breakfast because i’m a dead canny sim. You go wild all the time about everything because you’re a mad heed. A few days ago you asked me what 'smd’ meant, and the first thing that popped into both of our minds was SIMA MAD DOGS. For the meetup we tried to do the creep but you were too shy and done it wrong. You’re a lyrical genuis and you and sarah will win x-factor with the chicken kieve song because it’s utter quality. ──────▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌

───▄▄██▌█ ░THE FAGGOT TRUCK░░░░░░░▐

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My hands hurt now, so i’m going to stop writing this. You know how much i love you so i won’t proper end this dead mushy like because stuff like that makes me gag. But yep, i love you beautiful. PHOO YA LUSH, SO DAINT CHANGE SPEKY HUN, YA A TOP MARRA (Y)