Dearest Justin Bieber,
We have a very big proposition for you and we ask you to listen to us before you make any decisions.
Ok, so it’s no surprise that over the last few months you’ve been going through a lot and we understand with your break-up and everything else, it hasn’t been easy. So we can understand the drugs and the parties and the girls and the spray paint and stuff. BUT that doesn’t mean that we accept it or that it’s right. Look in the papers – all you see is negative stuff:
“Justin Bieber did this” “Justin Bieber did that” “Justin should go to jail” “Justin Bieber has to pay a fine” “*insert country* is glad to see the back of Justin Bieber” “Fans are selling Justin Bieber tickets because of his recent behaviour”
and then haters put their comments in:
“douche” “asshole” “the next train wreck”
But you HAVE seen these, haven’t you? Of course you have. We know that you see everything that goes on, every message, every story, every comment, every rumour, you see them all.
As Beliebers, we can tell when you’re happy and when you’re faking – trust me. It kills us to see you trying to smile when you don’t want to. And then we see so-called ‘Beliebers’ saying “OMG he’s such a dick, why won’t he fucking smile?” You’re human, you’re supposed to have off-days, but to us it looks like you’re not allowed to have an off-day. It looks like you always have to keep that smile when you shouldn’t. Your Beliebers are seriously worried about you. We are scared that you are about to prove those haters right and become a train wreck if you don’t slow down for a while. That amount of pressure isn’t good for you. You need a break. Our problem is that we feel you’re too busy trying to please the haters that you’re overlooking the fans you already have – the ones who have gotten you to number one almost every Music Monday, who buy all the plastic crap and t-shirts and posters with your face on it, who put up with Scooter’s bullshit with the Believe movie. Girls have tried to auction off VIRGINITY for a ticket to your show. It just seems right now that Scooter only cares about reeling in more fans and getting in more money than the people who pay his salary – us. He doesn’t seem to care about all the negative stuff in the papers (even though he should cause it’s damaging both of your careers tbh) and he seems like he’s too afraid to say ‘no’ to you, where he should and his damage control tactics are shit, let’s be honest here.
Ok, so here’s our proposition:
Two of us, Sinead and Sam (I’m Sinead, hi) were talking about this and we decided that we would be WAY better managers than Scooter and here’s why:
- We would prevent any negative press by stopping you from doing stupid stuff
- If there is negative press, we would go straight for the damage control (and not be lazy by ignoring it)(He calls it ‘being smart’, but people actually believe that shit and use it against you.)
- We will also be able to notice when you’re not able to do something and will give you breaks
- Two is better than one so THERE!
- We will tell any basic bitches to fuck off if they try to sell bullshit stories about you
- We don’t care about money or fame so our main focus will be YOU
- We are teenagers like you so we can still have fun
- We are also girls so we can have fun (if ya know what I mean) ;)
- I am very small so I can be your portable manager, and Sam can be everywhere else (I will literally fit in an overhead compartment, no worries)
- We will get you the help you need. Therapists, rehab, anything you need, we will only get you the best
- We will make time for you to go to visit family and friends and to be normal for a while
- We will get you proper and nice bodyguards who will protect you from paparazzi and not fans (like wtf?) and who won’t get you into trouble with clubs and the police
- We will reduce the number of fans allowed in the meet and greets so you can spend more time with them
- We will try to reduce the price of the tickets so more fans can afford them and you won’t be hated on for it
- We will find good mentors for you (with all respects, Will Smith hasn’t exactly gone through the same things you have)
- As fans we know how your Beliebers work and we know how to keep them interested, so we would be a great promo team
- We will be your personal shoppers and ick your outfits every day (we can also dress you. Only if you want;) )
- And lastly, we will bring you to a toy shop and let you pick out ANY toy you want :D
So, considering all these things, I hope you choose to replace your old manager with a pair of fresh, new, smart, (pretty) and very strong minded young ladies for your managers.
I know you are very busy (which is why I wrote you this letter tbh) and if you read it, great. If you consider us – even better. Thanks for your time
Lots of love
Sinead and Sam xxx