i-won't-really-cry

I AM GOING TO THE FAIRYTALE III CONVENTIOOOOOOOOOOON! AND I’M GONNA SEE JEEEEEEEEEEEN!! 

*And I am crying, and I am dying, and my heart will never survive, OMG*

I hate Republicans so God damn much. Our Republican governor is the reason my mom can’t get free healthcare. She needs to see a doctor not only because of possible diabetes (which is a life threatening illness left untreated) but also to build her medical record for her disability. 

We care about people my ass.  They can go fuck themselves.

Guess what I hate? Check-ups at the orthopedic center.

Guess what I have tomorrow? A check-up at the orthopedic center.

This wasn’t intimacy. This was a script. Not just any script—a script of questions so personal that they vacuumed away all the wonderful mystery about her.

I didn’t want to know her opinion of her family already. I didn’t want to know her worst memory already. I didn’t even want to know five things she liked about me already. I was learning things that, by being revealed so clinically, snuffed out my curiosity about them and the chance to know how she would, over time, choose to tell me them.

You learn something essential about a person not just through who they are but through how and when they tell you who they are. (And by figuring each other out, sneaking looks into each other’s eyes, and touches on each other’s legs.)

And until then, if you care, you fear—or, rather, hope—that you’re proving yourself worthy of hearing. You know: worthy of trust. The kind generated by what you want to say instead of what you’re instructed to.

I realized at the end of the questions that I would never know what she would’ve told me freely had she actually come to trust me, and that gave me pause.

i have some really amazing people in my life that i will love forever and am eternally grateful for. 

doubledreamerspinningblades I can’t wait until we’re all living together, all of our lives one giant chaotic fucking mess riddled with savannah cats 

Rant time

My so called best friend doesn’t even notice when I’m sad and feeling down anymore. Instead she thinks it’s okay to call me moody and make unfriendly banter and then complains when I can’t take it. I can’t be bothered with them anymore, I can’t wait to leave. She’s changed so much since she had a break up and now I think all the stuff she was arguing with her gf with is focused on me now. She doesn’t even know that I don’t react well to ‘banter’ that is about me. She doesn’t know the history behind my feelings and I can’t wait to get her negativity out of my life.

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