i-think-i-just-coughed-up-a-lung

Fake Friday Five Tea Date!

  1. It’s my Friday! I’m taking a comp day after working a Saturday last month for our winter board meeting. 3 day weekend come at me!
  2. Those of you who live alone can probably relate to this: do you ever have those moments where you think, “This is it. This is how I die” after you start choking on something or nearly fall down and you’re all alone? That happened to me this morning. I didn’t get all of my protein shake mixed up and inhaled some of the powder. Cue a coughing attack, eyes watering, I wasn’t breathing. It was just awesome. I finally regained control of my lungs and obviously survived, but it was touch-and-go for a moment there. (My roomies weren’t home this morning, one is the Morning anchor at my old TV station and the other was staying at her boyfriend’s house, so no one was there to witness my demise.)
  3. Weirdness of the day: There was a cop at the house next door this morning. He was creepin’ around in the side yard between our houses. When my roomie came home to get ready for work she told me about it, so we went into my room (where the windows face that house) and opened the blinds to see what was going on. We couldn’t figure it out. But there we were, sitting on my bed in the dark, staring out the window, looking for a cop—or some random creeper. Just a normal day.
  4. I’m dog sitting for my friend’s little chihuahua mix Friday-Tuesday. Her name is Lola and she’s a doll. I’m excited for some puppy time. 
  5. I was on the phone to a friend last night and paced the house to get my steps in. When we started the call I was at 6k steps. I hit 10k in less than an hour. Boom. Multi-Tasking at its finest. :)

Have a fantastic day guys!

I don’t know
what it is anymore
if it’s the drugs
Or maybe the alcohol
Because once all of it sinks in
It all makes me feel numb
And I really dont mind it at all
I actually like it

I love the feeling of alcohol

the way it burns
the back of my throat sometimes
The way that the alcohol hits me
eventually makes drunk
And everthing is dizzy all around
Because I don’t think about stuff
I just lay there feeling okay

I love the feeling of all drugs

The way the smoke builds up
All in the back of my lungs
When I take a hit of the weed
and sometimes I even cough
I start to feel great and happy a lot
I smile and start to laugh sometimes
Everything seems to be happy

I don’t know what it is about pills
But they do a great job
I feel like my world is spinning
And that I am calm down

I love the feeling of tripping out

The way the that the acid
Starts to melt on my tongue
And the way the shrooms hit me
I start to trip out and feel weird
But I like that weird feeling inside
I never know what to expect
And the anxious feeling that I get
Because you never know
Of what will happen

And let’s not forget
That cigarettes are my bestfriend
Even if it is destroying my lungs
It relieves a lot off my chest

I love all of the other drugs
But I don’t like the taste of some
I adjust to it though
I love it because it makes me feel
Like everything is numb
And even then no one should know
Because I am risking my life
But I like the rushing feeling I get
And the energy that I get inside
And the way it doesn’t let anything
I mean nothing at all bother me

But I then again
those only fixes things temporarily The alcohol leaves
me with hangovers
and sometimes I throw up
The coming down feeling
of any hard drug sucks

Then once the feeling
of the alcohol and drugs go away
I start to go back
to the way I felt before
and I hate it so much
If I could be fucked up all the time
then trust me and believe me
that I would in a heartbeat

And please understand
that just because I do something
doesn’t mean you should too

I know I have made a mistake
and I wish I never had to feel
so low that I turned to those things
because now I don’t even know
if I will be able to even stop
And now all I depend on in my life
for things to go away
and to feel numb
is the drugs and alcohol

and it’s pretty sad honestly
I hope that others
can make it through
and find the path
that I have been looking
for to escape it all
because I am stuck now
and I don’t want anyone
Nor would I ever want anyone
to be stuck on the same road
as I am on now

I WAS ALLOWED TO DROWN and i wanted it that way because i had so disfigured myself in my own vain struggle because i thought the water couldnt get any higher and then when it did i lashed out even more and no one wanted to help me and i didnt reach out because i was made to think the claws i grew and curved into hooks to dig into the throats of those who hurt me and sharpened on my own arms because i felt i deserved that pain, were aspects to be ashamed of so i just dropped like a rock to where i thought was the floor of my fishbowl but i realized that the world in which i live is no fishbowl and there is no bottom and i would sink further if i let myself so i drowned and let the buoyancy float me back up and my life now is just coughing up water and bile from my lungs and learning how to swim knowing there are no edges to hit or drop just wading in this boundless world and not being afraid of what isnt there, but instead taking comfort in the unknown and loving every drop of water that once subsumed my lungs because it will help me grow and will help the world around me grow more green and lush and beautiful than ever before 

Fucking sick as shiiiiiit.

I just want a tiny dentist vacuum to send up my sinuses.

I blame the guy who sits behind me at work - he’s been hacking up a lung for the past two weeks, and on Tuesday (the day before my mini vacation) he finally took a sick day. At noon. After coughing and hacking all morning.

I hate working in a studio.

One time I accidentally got high on cough syrup because I was really, really sick, like hacking up a lung and my esophagus (or at least that’s what it sounded/felt like). So being me, I don’t read the directions and the little plastic cups that are on top of the bottle, well I just fill one up completely. Originally I had taken a full cup of that cough syrup about like, what, probably less than an hour ago but my father insisted that I take more because I was disturbing his sleep. Anyway, I wonder if it’ll be too much cough syrup but I think that I’ll be fine because, “hey if they make that plastic cup that big obviously that’s the adult dose.” I climb into bed and in about like fifteen minutes I suddenly feel like I’m floating, but I’m lying down still. Confused, I started to wonder why I felt this way until I realized that you can legitimately get high off of cough syrup. Me realizing this just caused me to lose it laughing because, at that moment, it was funny for me because I accidentally got high off of cough syrup, like I didn’t do it intentionally at all. So my laughing ends up in a coughing fit and I had to refuse the spoonful of cough syrup my father insisted that I take.

anonymous asked:

hey i had a cough like that and i was sick and couging for a while and started coughing up blood and i had pneumonia?? idk if u have access to a doctor but if it keeps happening you should go to the doc :( i thought it was just my throat bein raw too but i think the blood was actually comin from my lungs?? and idk it can be serious so pls be careful n stay safe

oh gosh yeah ill def keep an eye on it, i have a doctotrs appointment on friday actually for other issues so ill bring it up if its still happenin by then! ty for the concern!

I always feel so uncomfortable walking the same way behind a stranger, and I don’t want them to think I’m gonna launch a sneak attack or something, so I’ll cough every now and then like I’m hacking up a lung, or exaggerate my footsteps by stomping, or drop my things a lot.

When I think about it though, maybe that just makes me seem more suspicious…

I think I might be getting sick. The only thing that I’m seeing is that I’ve had a headache for the last few days and I cough every once in a while. But the main thing is that whatever it is is just going directly to settling in my chest. I woke up in the middle of the night and coughed and it sounded like I was coughing with lungs full of goo.

I think I’ll just make an open starter and let you guys have at it.

I need to paint my nails and find the lung I just coughed up.