I promised myself I was gonna give my fingers a rest for a few days… but its four in the morning and this happened. Have some angst >:D
Summary: Ten years is a long time without someone.
Lucy sat perched on her windowsill, the window he abruptly came in when he broke into her house. Her downcast eyes took in the scenery from the dark world outside the glass. No one was out on the streets, most likely due to the late hours. The midnight sky made the lamps illuminating the street shine brighter. Lucy sighed for the umpteenth time that day.
She remembered coming home in the middle of the night with the pink haired dragon slayer. She would barely be awake, dragging her feet all the way home while the fireball would still have enough left over energy to swing around on the fixtures. Her lips quirked up in a tender smile, feeling the back of her eyes burn a little with unshed tears.
She missed those days.
Nowadays she just took a small mission here and there, just enough to be able to afford her monthly rent. Other times she would sleep, or pick out a book to read to get her mind off things.
But most of her days were spent sitting on the windowsill awaiting Natsu’s return.
Lucy can’t recall the last time she was at the guild; the last mission she had taken paid a pretty penny, enough for her to pay a few months worth of rent. She did miss her guildmates tremendously, but she wanted to avoid that place as much as she possibly could. There was an aching feeling in her chest at the thought. Since the day she had joined Fairy Tail, she always thought of it as home; her home.
But it was farthest from the truth.
Home didn’t have to be a building she came to realize. Home could also be a person, something you confined in… something you trusted to keep you safe and warm.
It wasn’t until the day after he left that Lucy realized Natsu was her home.
She had always subconsciously thought that he was, but never had it dawned on her until it was too late. She buried her face into her knees, remembering the day he left like it was yesterday…
Even though it was seven years ago.
Lucy sat at the bar, ordering a alcoholic drink from Mirajane. The take over mage gave her a wary look, but complied to her request. When the beverage was presented in front of her, the stellar mage took a swig; ignoring the approaching footsteps coming from behind.
His voice rang in her ears, but as easy as it was for him to say her name; it was even easier for her to ignore it. Lucy heard the old wooden floor squeak as he took another step forward, desperately trying to get her attention.
“Lucy, I’m leaving in a few minutes.”
Did he really think that was going to make her respond to him? She felt the whole guild’s eyes on them, but she didn’t care. She didn’t have a reason to speak to him, he should just leave her as easily as he did the first time.
“Please what Natsu?!” She snapped when she heard him beg, he shouldn’t be the one begging her to talk to him before he leaves. It should be her begging him to stay with her. She seen the hurt flash across his face, she tried her best to not feel guilty but a ping of it was still there. She sighed, turning back around to the bar. “You should really go, you’ll miss your train.”
“Not until you see me off.”
Lucy felt her temper flare. Goodbye? Tell him goodbye? Rage controlling her she turned back around to the dragon slayer, standing up from the bar stool. She stood up straight, her heated gaze directed to his black orbs.
“So you want me to see you off?” Her tone was one of mockery. “Why isn’t it as easy to leave me this time? It was sure as hell easy for you to do it last time.”
“I left you a letter-”
“Letters don’t mean anything Natsu!” Lucy shouted, completely enraged. “I write my mother letters every single day, just as a way to vent my feelings. But it doesn’t mean a damn thing because they’re just words on a thin sheet of paper that can easily be lost or torn, then what? You can never get it back because they’re gone.”
Tears were rushing down her porcelain cheeks. She started to shake at the intensity of the sobs, covering her hands over her brown eyes. Natsu sighed, knowing what Lucy truly meant by her outburst. He walked over to the hysterical girl, wrapping his strong arms around her petite body; relaxing when she eventually returned his embrace.
“I just don’t want you to leave.”
He sighed, burying his head in her hair taking in her strawberry scent. “I know.”
“I could barely do a year without you Natsu, how am I going to manage ten?”
Natsu had to stop himself from visibly flinching at the thought of not seeing his blonde haired partner for a full ten years. He had to go though; it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It wasn’t everyday the great Gildarts Clive asked you serve with him on a decade long mission.
“You’re the strongest person I know Lucy, I know you’ll find a way to cope.” His grip on her frail body tightened. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
She couldn’t find the words to speak, settling for nodding in his chest. All too soon, the partners had to reluctantly pull apart.
“This isn’t goodbye Lucy, you’ll see me again.” He gave her one more of his infamous grins, faltered slightly by the own tears slipping from his eyes.
Lucy nodded, sitting back down in her chair feeling as if her knees were about to give out on her; her tears never faltering.
“I’ll see you in ten years Natsu.” The last memory she had of the fire mage was a two finger salute he offered as he walked out of the guildhall doors for ten, long years.
Lucy wiped her tears away, once her clear vision was restored she could spot the dark orange in the horizon signaling that sunrise was now on its way. The celestial mage slowly stood up and walked over to the bed Natsu had slept on often. She grabbed the article of clothing lying next to her pillow, cuddling with the scarf that Natsu had left behind for her. She buried her nose in the garment inhaling the scent that wasn’t present anymore.
Snuggling into a comfortable spot, Lucy hoped she would receive more than three hours of sleep tonight. Her sleeping habits had been off since he left, everything has been off since he left.
Slipping her eyes shut, Lucy gradually fell asleep. Ready to do the exact same actions tomorrow.
And she would keep repeating them until the day Natsu came back to her.