Hi. So my last post inspired me to write this one. Since I moved to the Middle East in 2012, one of the most common questions I am asked is about the treatment of women. Are women respected? Do we really have any rights here? Are we allowed to drive? Many people were surprised back then when I told them that I loved being a woman here, probably even more so than being one in the states. I kind of am worried about the whole repatriation actually. I have become too spoiled. For example, for two years I didn’t drive anywhere and I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!! I have many views on gender roles, and I would like to talk about that in this post.
Living here after being raised as a woman who knew how to wash dishes and sew buttons on a shirt AND change a car battery AND take care of myself, I sort of got into the idea that I did not need a man. Although I am married, I still don’t, necessarily, but it is such a pleasure to be able to really live as a woman and do what women do. What do women do? In my mind, the perfect woman is able to handle everything by herself if she must, but once she is paired with an equally yolked man, she can take the passenger seat and let him take full reigns. While I tend to be very controlling, there is nothing better than a man who can shut me up and shut me down. I need that, I tend to be a bit pushy if I am not put in my place. Yes, my place as a woman, because I believe we have one. I mean think about it. Yes it sounds so caveman-like but seriously, why do most women want to be identified in the same vein as a man ONLY when it works to our benefit? That’s like saying you want your husband to carry the babies. No. I want to carry my own babies. I am sooooooooooo going off topic.– Let’s just pause for a minute……
Ok I’m back. Clearly I got a lot of thoughts and opinions on this topic. As I was saying at the beginning of the last paragraph, being in the UAE makes me feel so feminine. I can go out to eat with my friends, chat, sip tea, be obsessed with make-up, shop, discuss babies and families, my holidays, weddings (none of which I really do in the regular), and not talk about careers at ALL it’s totally normal. In the household, if you’re married, your husband naturally handles all of the business for the family, Visa applications and all other paperwork, handling any auto or mechanical issues, changing lightbulbs around the house, cleaning out A/C units, taking out the trash, doing things that require a ladder, put gas in the car, drilling things….you get my drift. It is expected for a man to do these things here. Something that is lacking in America and ABSOLUTELY fucks with the dynamics of family and male/female roles. In America, so many women are doing all of those things and aren’t thinking twice about it. I think we have something to do with that. Men of course need to step it up as well. But ladies can’t one minute say you don’t need help then the next minute expect your date to pay for your meal when you go out to eat. What kinda shit is that? Pick your side of the fence and stay on it. Please and thank you. Some men want the woman to be the man, some women want the man to be the woman. If that’s your thing, get it how you live. If it ain’t, keep reading, you might learn something.
My point is, living here has put me in my place as a woman and I can’t wait to come back to the USA and continue to live out my days as a lady.lol. A real lady who works, but also is domesticated and is a good PTA mom. There is nothing wrong with that. I don’t wanna be a man. I don’t wanna do what they do.
On the flip side, I think men should be just as equipped. A man should know how to cook, wash clothes, iron, take care of his health, etc without a woman but it should be an added bonus when he meets a woman he will marry that will help lighten his load. Now some people may like to do what they do, and I totally respect that. Life is about living how you are most comfortable, and I will never hate on that. Do you boo. I just know as for me and mine, I have fallen in love with the “old fashioned” concept of being a woman/wife/future mother. I love cooking, thinking of new recipes, and other dainty stuff. I have this country to thank for this. Emphasis is family here, not work, not money, no careers. It’s made me see life for what is important. In the states, for one, I would have never found the time to experience any of this because I would have been too busy tryna make money to pay a bill.
The truth is, I don’t really hold my career as high up as I did before. Yes I will always be a busybee. that’s just who I am, but I seriously am not starving for recognition in the work world anymore. There is just more to life and I’m beginning to see that.
And while many people may look that this culture and see the women are covered up and feel like it’s a matter of control, why do you wanna be naked? I think it’s lovely that a woman is not revealing herself to the world. Like with any country and it’s culture, they aren’t perfect and there may be some things that I question, but in life you have to take the good from situations because focusing on those positive things that you can learn from will enrich your own life. Everyone may not come here and see what I see. That’s fine. But my opinion is the only one that matters, as this is my blog. Good day. :)