i-love-this-so-much-it-hurts

ok. i’ve seen age of ultron twice now and i feel like i finally have opinions. i’m gonna go character by character

SPOILERS AHEAD

Tony: This movie reeeeallly sets him up for civil war. he’s made mistakes and he’s aware of them and puts full responsibility on himself. but that doesn’t keep him from being destructive. this movie (along with iron man 3) are the only ones that really make me care about him. 7/10

Bruce: i love ruffalo’s banner. so much. he captures such an endearing vulnerability in the character and i love it. there were some things that he did i didn’t like (brucetasha but i’ll get there and it’s whedon’s fault) but overall i think we got a much deeper look at the hulk. after the hulk v hulkbuster fight, bruce sees what he did to the city and the people he scared/hurt and it really effects him. there’s a new dynamic between the hulk and banner which was really explored in this movie. 9/10

Natasha: ugh. no. just. brucetasha was so wrong. that was the only purpose whedon gave her. to present moral dilemmas for bruce. i would have been fine if their relationship was displayed as healthy for her, but it was not. in my opinion, she was far too vulnerable when pursuing her relationship with bruce. her entire character is kinda reduced to damsel in distress when she talked to him which, no. also she called herself a monster not because she was a trained assassin who killed people for training, but because she was sterile. WHAT THE SHIT. wow. incredible steps in the feminist movement, whedon. 4/10

Clint: oh wow here we go. clinton francis barton. first of all, way to have more than three lines. on the topic of clint’s family, it was super out of character. clint barton, human disaster, cannot have such a normal family. like if you want me to believe that this is clint’s family, there’s gotta be a dog and at least 3 gaping holes in the wall. because i am all for my fave being happy. it’s actually really refreshing after seeing how ridiculously messy he is in fraction’s comics, but it’s a little too normal to be believable for me. other than that, i am so incredibly happy with his character. all of his lines were clint af and it really reminded me why i love and relate to this character. overall 9.5/10 for mr. barton.

thor: hemsworth said in a lot of interviews that he was bringing more humor to thor. i agree and appreciate. i loved thor in this movie. he’s the reckless warrior he was in the first movie when he sees his vision because he wants to fix it, but he’s also fun and just a huge goof which is why i love thor. i just love thor. also his bro moments with cap (or broments) were a literal injection of life into my bloodstream. 9.9/10

steve: oh my sweet summer flower, whedon just doesn’t get you. though funny, cap would never say ‘language’. are we forgetting the punk that fought people he couldn’t beat in alleys? cap isn’t delicate. he is true and virtuous and such a lil shit. i got the sense that he was just a tired old man throughout a good part of the movie who just complained a lot. i feel like complaining would never be in captain america’s wheelhouse. i did enjoy him at the very beginning and the very end when he was more laid back. i overall still enjoyed him a lot because despite his complaining moments, he still had moments that showed why he should be leading these guys. 7.5/10

the twins: did not expect to get that attached. pietro had a really great transition to against the avengers to with them. wanda had a similar transition, but it wasn’t rooted the same way pietro’s was. wanda’s moment with clint was 10/10. overall 9/10 bc i would have liked some flashbacks or something

vision: didn’t think he would be precious but ?????? he was ???? he was so naïve and wise at the same time???? him and thor??????? 10/10???????

ultron: a not shitty marvel villain?? incredible. scary af. yeah he wanted to kill my faves, but his motive and reasoning were convincing?? v good. 8/10

overall give the movie 8.5/10

the thing i love about jed and octavius is that they are so small and weak and easy to hurt or capture
but look at them

from the beginning they showed they could fight and defend themselves

theyre never afraid of anything. stranger picking you up whilst annoyed and could possibly really injure you? so what? still gonna try fight

they never give up no matter what

they get the job done no matter how large it may be

they go through so much. tiny little things in a huge world. but theyre never afraid and they never give up. they may be small but their hearts are large…metaphorically speaking…

May

Okay, guys. Here we go. This is my very first (posted) Chris Evans Fic. I love love love Evans (who doesn’t honestly?) and this is a much needed break for me. Thank you all so much.

Title: May

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff (eventually), Reunion

Chapter/Oneshot: Chapter 1 (depending)

Characters: Chris Evans, Kaylen Eira-May Ellis (OC), Chris Hemsworth, Kat Dennings, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Joss Whedon, Rupert Gray (OC), and Miv (OC) 

Summary: During the filming of Thor 3: Ragnarok, Chris runs into an old friend, one he never thought he would see again, reminding him of things he thought he had moved past. How much has changed? Will she slip away again? Can he let her? 


“Ouf.” Chris huffed, a grin breaking across his face as Tom smacked his arm that was still sore from falling on set yesterday. There was bound to be a nice sized bruise on his upper arm, but thankfully there were no shirtless scenes for at least two weeks. 

Keep reading

Your best friend messaged me again, asking Why. I didn’t know how to explain to her, or to you Why I just couldn’t stay away. Because I know we would never work out, and too much has happened. Things are so different from how they were, and things will never go back to the way they were this winter. But I guess I couldn’t stay away. I saw you hurting and I knew I could fix it, Cause even after all that I still love you , just not in the way you need me to.
—  Part of a book I’ll never write about you

PhannieMay15 Day #3 - Dream

Valerie Gray, catching a quick catnap while on patrol. The Dream: Her dad never got fired, and she found the joy of true friendship and love on her own.

The dropped plot line from the cut short third season that hurts me the most is Valerie & Danny. Just, so much wasted potential. I love them. I wanted to see them resolve their differences and realize how much they cared about each other on and off the job.

So, this is a bit of dream for me, too. Hee~

If this is love, I do not want it. Take it from me. Why does it hurt so much?”

Because it was real

—  The Hobbit - Tauriel

A strange turn of events has reunited me with this beautiful Trenton tube. I love the colors and the person who now owns it will give it the use it really deserves!
Everything has been changing so fast lately and even though change can hurt, it is also how I have made all the progress to become the beautiful person I am today. I have made so much progress in loving myself the last year that I want to remind you all to take the time and appreciate yourself! You have survived all these years and even though there were some mistakes, there is a lot more joy to be had and love to be felt.

This song is Chief Keef remixed with the Mii channel by the way, it’s pretty good if you wanna listen to it here.

What scares me the most is that, at first I wondered if I wasn’t attractive enough. That thought played on my mind in heart beats.

Then I began to wonder why none of the guys in my life ever looked at me like they do in all the boy falling in love with his friend movies. It hurt even more to think that my personality wasn’t even worth loving. That thought played in my mind on repeat.

Then I felt that I just wasn’t good enough for any attention, and that made me feel pathetic for placing so much on the affections of boys. I just wasn’t worth it at all. That thought was permanently in my mind.

zazobeck asked:

Hey, I'm kind of in a tough place now, and was wondering if you know anything about dealing with depression. I have a good friend that suffers from depression and it kills me to see him hurt so much and not be able to do anything... ._. Also, if I could get a hot caramel macc that'd be nice, thanks. (Love your blog by the way)

Depression is tough, I sadly know too many people with it. It is also one of those things where as a friend you most likely will not be able to help them out of it. What you can do is be there for support and encourage them to seek professional help. All of the people that I know that have at least gained control of their depression have had help from doctors.

On a happier note I am glad you like my blog and I would be happy to get you a drink.

1:45 pm

dear love,

I know that I have told you a million times how I feel, like how you make me feel as if I’m the only girl you ever laid your eyes on. But this time, I want to tell you what I don’t feel. I don’t feel like this will ever end or at least anytime soon. I don’t feel like you could ever lie to me. I don’t feel like you would ever do anything to purposefully hurt me. And as I have told you last Saturday night, I won’t do anything to hurt you either.

I’m sorry for the times when I still feel scared—scared that if I move too fast with you, I will lose you. I’m scared because you know I can’t afford losing you. I love you so much and you mean so much to me that I don’t want to risk that. In the last four days before finally meeting you, I have grown to love you more. Even though sometimes I thought that it would feel weird when you get here. ONLY because I am not used to having a boyfriend in my house. I know that might sound weird, but maybe it’s because I used to live my life alone that I only rely on myself so much that I sometimes forget that there is an outside world.

You have opened my eyes to so many things, Paul. You have loved me when I have felt like I didn’t deserve it. You have stood by me with all the shit I have had going on. You even told me you would stand by me in a situation that wasn’t even yours to deal with. I don’t know how to handle someone so great. But you have also opened my heart on how to keep someone as wonderful as you.

You are the best person I know.

This may sound really cheesy, but I imagine our kiss to feel like it’s an endless fireworks. We have the chemistry and  I don’t ever want to lose that. I’m so afraid I might one day.

I have to say you are so amazing and I love you with all my heart, my love.

I actually see some parallels between Crowen and Jolex. Both Owen and Jo are very flawed and have their demons (his war PSTD and her PTSD from sexual abuse), both Cristina and Alex weren’t scared off by those demons, yet fell for these two, both were the second chances for Cristina and Alex after their first loves hurt them so much and made them feel like they weren’t good enough. I love both ships and I hope both somehow end up together.

There’ll be some time before I can do the new recap BUT I just want to say:

Ian Murray, you precious angel, gentle rainbow of a man, you sprinkle cupcake, I have so much love for you and it’s only been two episodes. How dare you be such a great man? Great friend, great person, great husband, how? 

Also, I love how Hufflepuff he is and it breaks my heart. He’s so good, nonjudgmental, humble and doesn’t want to hurt anyone unless he has to do it to save his friend and protect his family. Even then, even though he knows he did the only thing he could do, his hand shakes because he killed a person. And when he said he’d go to hell for his best friend/brother because Jamie would need him there.

I didn’t need my heart anyway, Ian, have it forever.

Re:

[texting thread for creampuffsandcardgames​]

Tell me have you ever wanted someone so much it hurts? 
Your lips keep trying to speak but you just can't find the words. 
Well I had this dream once; I held it in my head...

The last thing to ever be on Mariku’s mind was love. Having been offered none of it in his lifetime, it was hard to imagine what it might even look like, or feel like. It wasn’t like that he spend a lot of time thinking about it, anyway. Not until… him… 

Sometime between laying low in his own world and peeking out of his windows tinted with Marik’s point of view, he saw him. He wasn’t even anything special, just an ordinary-looking kid, someone to glance at out of your peripheral, and yet… The want was insatiable. 

There as blood on his arm but he seemed to hardly care. He stared at the others almost blankly, placidly… Like there was something trapped in him too. Mariku wanted to get closer, he wanted to see him better, he wanted to touch him… but in the same moment he had the thought, he was turned away and walked off. 

Cursing Marik, Mariku thrashed uselessly, thriving for control, but to no avail. He was left with the brief image of the pale boy in the striped shirt and eyes so wide they could carry the galaxy. 

She was the purest beauty but not the common kind...
She had a way about her that made you feel alive.
And for a moment, we made the world stand still...

It was days before he saw him again. He fished for a name in Marik’s mind in that time, for anything that sounded like it belonged to him, but every name was so dull and ill-fitting. Sick with the need to just see him again, Mariku grew increasingly restless. Nothing in his Mind Palace entertained him anymore. The luxurious wallpaper of his hallway now faded and each room seemed a little darker. Sound was distant, and though he couldn’t feel or taste, he knew they would have both lost their appeal too. 

It was late at night when he finally took over from his sleeping other self. Slipping out of the room of the blimp, Mariku wandered the halls, his fingertips dragging over the walls and doors. He had no plan, nothing prepared. His thoughts swam with the still picture of him, tugging a smile at his lips. He didn’t even know him but having someone that made him feel–that gave him a purpose… it was enough. 

He paused by the kitchens, his hand flat on the door. There were sounds coming from inside… Pushing open the door, Mariku poked his head in, eyes scanning the tops of the counters for a body but saw no one. Still, there was the unmistakable sound of eating. Slipping inside silently, he moved swiftly into the room, following the noise. The sight that met him on the floor, around the corner from the island counter and before the fridge, was nothing short of a gift. 

The boy looked startled but not afraid. He murmured apologies and made to stand up, but Mariku’s face broke into a smile and he sat with him. 

What’s your name?” 

You had me dim the lights; You danced just like a child
The wine spilled on your dress and all you did was smile
It was perfect, I hold it in my mind

The peace Mariku felt around Ryou was unlike anything he could have imagined. He laughed that night, sharing stolen food and drink, sitting on the floor in the kitchen and they talked. They talked about an infinity of things: about themselves and their lives, what they liked to do and eat, places they wanted to go and people they wished they could meet. Mariku asked more questions than he answered and he stared at Ryou, mapping out his features in his mind to hold on to forever. 

I don’t know when we’ll do this again… it’s not always easy to take over from him… but I liked this, and maybe… we’ll get the chance to see each other again.

It would be for almost another week. It got to a point where Mariku wished he could tell Marik about Ryou and just… ask to be given the chance, but he knew it wouldn’t happen, and with that information in Marik’s hands, well… it was best to just keep it to himself. 

Mariku found it easiest to go at night, when Marik was asleep and his defences were down. Marik’s mind still got to rest, though his body didn’t… At first they met half way, in parks, in late-night coffee shops, in the town square… Then Mariku would begin to frequent Ryou’s apartment almost every night. Ryou gave him his phone number and Mariku memorized it in favor of adding it to Marik’s phone to raise questions. He would message him once he arrived and Ryou would come down to let him up. The sneaking around was fun…

From hours of talking and movie-watching, and from gaming and midnight baking, they soon found themselves watching the stars on the roof, huddled under blankets. It was almost more than enough for him. 

When the summer rolls around and the sun starts sinking down
I still remember you, oh, I remember you
And I wonder where you are; are you looking at those same stars again?
Do you remember when...

They shared their first kiss on that roof on a particularly cold night. It had felt like his heart would swell and burst, but he would have made that sacrifice for just one more kiss any time. Mariku’s favorite things were all about Ryou: running his fingers through the long, white hair, kissing his warm skin, holding him tightly… The small sounds Ryou made when Mariku’s lips found the right spot on his neck, the way he pushed his body against him when Mariku’s hands slid under the backs of his jeans and gripped his soft flesh tightly… The way he moaned his name in a sigh, the way his hands tugged at Mariku’s hair when he went down on him… The soft cries of “more!” when they had their first time and the desperate pleading on his face all clouded with fervour as his breaths came out heavier… 

We woke under a blanket all tangled up in skin
Not knowing in that moment we'd never speak again
But it was perfect; I never will forget...

Mariku had stayed awake their last night, stroking Ryou’s hair as he slept against him. It would be morning in just a couple of hours and he knew he had to leave. His eyes fell to the white head against his chest and his heart weighed down in him like an anchor keeping him to the bed. He slowly rolled Ryou onto his back and wrapped his arms around his small waist, burying his face against his warm skin, listening… to the rhythmical thumping of his heart. Would he ever hear it again? 

He raised his head and kissed his lover softly one last time before sliding out of bed to get dressed. Not for the first time in his life, he resented Marik. He swore to himself somehow, sometime, he would come back to see Ryou again, no matter what it entailed. 

With a last longing look at Ryou, Mariku left. The Ishtars would return to Egypt today and Mariku still had never found the strength in him to tell Ryou “goodbye.”

____________________________________________________________________

Ten-odd days of travel and Mariku was back home. He wondered if Ryou hated him by now, from his abandonment and his silence. He hoped he understood somehow… He had been lying on his bed on his stomach, staring at Marik’s phone in his hands. Ryou’s number was still burned into his memory and every day he had been away he had wanted to message him, to call him, just to tell him he missed him. Finally, he composed a message. He would never know if he didn’t try, anyway. 

[New chat - Contact: Ryo Bakura]

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how to… I didn’t want our last night together to be filled with “I’ll miss you”s anyway, I just wanted something good to remember…

anonymous asked:

So, did you see Ray's stream where he was nearly in tears when he got $2500+ in donations? I wanted to cry watching him. Love that guy.

I didn’t watch the stream because streaming is too much of a time commitment for me (I think it’s like 4hrs-ish??? gosh) but I’ve seen gifsets and screencaps around !!!!! honestly I’m so happy for him and he sounds so happy on his twitter now, but ngl watching all the ah lps of him still kind of hurts, knowing that what he adds to the group dynamic is no longer there ;;;;;

anonymous asked:

My boyfriends parents found out about us having sex and they're so mad about it. His mom wants to talk to us both about abstinence but I already told my boyfriend I didn't want to have sex anymore and it's very awkward and I feel like they hate me now and I'm so worried this will hurt our relationship. I really love him and I care about him so much.

Hun they don’t hate you, all parent’s just get really protective and such when it comes to their children being intimate with others. It’s a huge step, and it’s completely understandable they wanna have a chat. Just be mature, talk to them with an open mind and be respectful and see where things go x

anonymous asked:

Are you reading any ongoing stucky fics that you would recommend? If so, which ones? I love the journal of Bucky Barnes and your art in general and hope you feel better :)

Hi anon!

I’m sorry, I’m not reading anything at the moment :( When it comes to my fandom time, I’m far too busy with The Life of Bucky Barnes but also Journal of a Man of Letters.

However, I posted a Stucky rec list HERE and if you are a fan of hurt!Bucky stories, you have the fan fiction tag of Hurtcomfortbucky that will rec you tons of great stuff. It’s my #1 source when it comes to find Stucky fics. I love reading fics where this POOR Bucky suffers, I must be completely sadistic but hey…

Thank you so much for enjoying my Bucky’s Instagram and also, for your get well soon message! It’s very kind of you ♥

God this is hurting me so much more personally than Leonard’s death. Like when Leonard died I was distraught because he was such an icon, and it threw me into this mess of existential despair because even someone who meant so much to so many people could not escape death.

But now I’m just like. Holy shit Grace is dead. GRACE is dead. She gave me hugs, I looked her in the eyes and we smiled at one another. She told me that she loved me because I was such a devoted fan. I could go upstairs right now and run my fingers over her signature in the copy of her book she signed for me. I am never going to see her again. I thought I would be able to see her smile again this summer at the convention, but now I won’t. 

Skip Beat Confessions:

I fell in love with Skip Beat because I see a little bit of myself in Kyoko. I get angry similar to her and I try not to see anyone as a love interest because every time I do I end up hurting myself. She is different in other ways but I love her so much.

by anonymous

Send in your own confession! // And participate in the skip beat contest with your confession!