And let fishmostly , fishareblue , iantojonesthebetta , rowencia , heresyourfirststep , and the rest of you know that I’m okay. Last couple of months I’ve shut down almost completely because of what’s going on with my dad. But the more I see him try to fight the more I realize I can’t let myself drown in sorrow to the point where I’m not doing anything. I’m gonna try to get back on my feet and do what I can to feel normal again. I don’t expect to be able to do it right off the bat but I’m hoping I can get there again.
It’s been extremely hard to get myself to do anything. I hate leaving my house, I sit and watch tv all day, social interaction is hard and I prefer small doses of it, I hide behind wedding planning because it’s the only thing keeping my mind busy, but I can’t do this anymore. I hate waking up and looking at myself in the mirror and hating what I see. I hate seeing myself so depressed and tired looking all the time. I don’t look happy, I don’t feel happy, I don’t care about anything but I want to change that.
I’m hoping that by telling people I’m trying to change that it’ll help me actually get there. I miss who I used to be before all this and I’m sure the people around me do too. Really , though, it’s important that I do it for myself.
Thanks for caring about me and sending me messages to check up on me. It really means a lot to me and I’m sorry I didn’t reply.