i-feel-like-i'm-being-quality

I will honestly never understand the reasoning behind sending anon hate like??? Great job??? You made that person feel like shit for no reason?? And you’re such a coward that you hide behind a screen and on top of that turn on anon???? Really like claps for you because that’s just an all time low congratulations on being an low quality human being

i am having dad feelings and i just want someone nice like rupert graves to be my dad. or like a dad figure. like literally. because fun fact i’ve been noticing myself looking for those certain qualities in dads i see on tv or in movies or just people in general. because guess what my dad didn’t really have those for the last few years. and like, i want a dad who is a dad. 

my dad was a dad for a while and a really good one, but not when i really needed him. and i think i really need a dad right now. you know like a dad figure. and i feel like i might be looking for those qualities forever.

but anyway rupert seems like he is an amazing dad and i want that. 

I feel no sympathy for Cruella’s mother

Okay, not quite true.  I do feel a little bad that she had to lose her husbands, since she did seem to love them.  But Cruella?  Hoo boy.  She starts out the episode saying “You will learn to heel.” Like a dog.  Because, ya know, treating children like dogs has always led to them being functioning and empathetic adults, right?

She locks her up, controls her with dogs.  She seems to feed her and all, but there’s hardly any quality in that life.

Would her life have been better in an institution?  Given the time, maybe not.  However, they seem to be in a different realm than ours (one existing outside of time altogether), so who knows?  Would life have been worse?  Cruella is isolated from society, highly restricted, and we see no compassion from her mother for her (yes, even after the “reveal.”).  She tells us (because she’s so reliable amirite?) that she felt for her daughter and “did what was best,” but you know what? Cora gave the whole “doing what’s best for your kid” speech before murdering Daniel, so I’m not handing out any cookies to mothers who control their children’s lives “for their own good,” and I’m not taking their word for it.

But if we can’t take Cruella’s word for it, doesn’t that mean we have to take her mother’s word for it? Because there’s no such thing as nuance or multiple people being unreliable at the same time and painting themselves in the best possible light apparently? Yeah, I don’t think so.

I know, I know, I’m not supposed to sympathize with her at all, because she was evil as a child too and wanted to “splash around in it” and all that jazz.  But Cruella’s mom did nothing to help the situation.

And I get that psychopathy/sociopathy (technically not medical terms currently: it’s Antisocial Personality Disorder officially) is complicated and probably the least sympathetic of mental disorders.  But it is a mental disorder. 

And mental disorders have a long history of being conflated with psychopathy regardless of whether they actually have anything to do with it (autism’s perceived “lack of empathy,” people assuming schizophrenia means they’ll probably kill or hurt you at some point, Borderline people being conflated with manipulative abusers because their emotions don’t work the way a neurotypical’s does and it can be hard to take, etc, etc), as a way to dehumanize them and justify terrible treatment of them.  The use of the word “disturbed” is often used to describe neurodivergent children that neurotypical parents don’t want to deal with, that disobey them. 

Because words like “disturbed” and “psychopath” make them inhuman, make them inherently evil, and turn them into a burden, and their neurotypical parent is often forgiven for “not knowing how to deal with them.”  Any abuse the neurotypical parent does is seen as necessary, and they are always, always believed over the child.

I liked the twist that Cruella didn’t start out as an innocent snowflake.  I honestly do.  But the fact that people are interpreting this twist to mean that what Cruella’s mom did was magically an okay thing to do… no.  And my problem is also with the show, because in their efforts to subvert their normal pattern and come off all clever, they sort of end up undermining their own messages here.  “Evil isn’t born it’s made… except when it’s not. Good luck figuring that out because we’ll probably never talk about it ever again!” “Snow is not all good and Regina is not all bad, and Saviors can be corrupted and have potential for darkness… but let’s take her abuser’s word for it when she says she’s 100% evil and locking her up is the absolute best thing to do.  Then it will be proven that she’s 100% evil when she kills her abuser and the very dogs that her abuser used to keep her in line, that threatened her and chased her down, and when she hurts the author’s precious fee-fees because she didn’t fall in love with him in one night.”

Again, it’s not the idea that she was just evil for the fun of it that I hate inherently.  My problem is with the execution.  My problem is with the perpetuating of the idea that some children deserve to be isolated from society, that some parents can do whatever they damn well please with their kids because… well look how awful this child is!  Look how evil they are!  Their mind isn’t like ours.  It’s different.  It’s evil.  It’s disturbed.  Because that is the exact mentality that so many neurodivergent people, who aren’t “psychopaths,” who don’t kill people, who aren’t even dangerous, are dealing with.  The exact mentality that leads to their systematic abuse, and that exact mentality is why the institutions were so bad in the first place.  And to condone that, with a handwave of, “well at least they weren’t in an institution; those places are abusive,” without even addressing the abuse that was faced?  It’s sickening, and it makes me reluctant to trust anyone who tries to explain her actions away this way.

Lil’ u p d a t e

Mah, mah–

–I feel like I’ve been doin’ nothing but apologizing on this blog. But this is me sayin’ sorry for being totally inactive on this blog for like a month. 

Things have been pretty hectic cause your boi over here is about to graduate from college!! 

OH STUDENT DEBT MY ASS IS FUCKING READY!!! 

But, with horrible news comes some better news! 

This smirking dumbass—-get that stupid ass smirk off ye’r face, you fucked everything up so fa–anyways. This guy right here will be back in full force… 

May 2nd.  

–as for now I can only be moderately active on one blog and that’s this one right here. 

baka-naruto

——so yeah I promise that Ichigo will return that day and with it I’m gonna be aksing a TON OF YOU to thread with me, if you are down for some LOW ASS quailty Ichigo Rp -smiles unprofessionally- 

A lot of people say I’m pretty and beautiful and blah blah blah, and I love it of course, but it feels like the only compliment I get. I want to be so much more. It feels like I have no bright and good qualities that stand out in me. Beauty can only last for so long and I want to be a good person. I want people to know me for being good and kind, not just pretty. But I’ve been thinking about it so much and it makes me feel like no one sees me as anything more than just a pretty face….