I can’t believe what I’m saying, but we don’t have time for this!

I miss my ex..

Because he was my best friend. There’s not a minute that goes by that I don’t miss him. No matter how hard I try I can’t stop missing him or thinking about him. It’s not because I want to get back together with him, it’s just because he was my best friend. He was the person I seemed to tell everything too. I could go to him with all my problems and he would give me the advice I would give myself if I wasn’t in the same situation. I miss the constant smile I would have on my face when I would talk to him. I miss the way he would make me laugh. I miss the things he would say, the things that only he could come up with. I miss every single thing about him. I can get past the fact that he hurt me multiple times in our relationship, but I can’t get past the fact that I lost him as a best friend. Yeah, I’ll always love him in a way. I just wish he would talk to me.. I hate that now that he’s in a relationship he’s going to just cast me aside like I’m nothing. Maybe in a way I still am in love with him, but in another way I know I’m not. I just miss him and this sucks ballz.

Fuck my life.

I want no need him back in my life as my best friend again.


PLL parallels: 3x20 vs. 5x05

"I was afraid I was gonna lose you." vs. "I didn’t want to hurt you."

Gifs from x, x, 

"I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. No, that’s not… I think maybe even before."

No more we’ll share the same old barn
The same old dug-out, same old yarn,
No more a tin of bully share
Nor split our rum by a star-shell’s glare
So long old lad.

What times we’ve had, both good and bad,
We’ve shared what shelter could be had,
The same crump-hole when the whizz-bangs shrieked,
The same old billet that always leaked,
And now - you’ve “stopped one”.

We’d weathered the storms two winters long
We’d managed to grin when all went wrong,
Because together we fought and fed,
Our hearts were light; but now - you’re dead
And I am mateless.

Well, old lad, here’s peace to you,
And for me, well, there’s my job to do,
For you and the others who are at rest
Assured may be that we’ll do our best
In vengeance.

Just one more cross by a strafed roadside,
With it’s G.R.C., and a name for guide,
But it’s only myself who has lost a friend,
And though I may fight through to the end,
No dug-out ot billet will be the same,
All pals can only be pals in name,
But we’ll all carry on till the end of the game
Because you lie there.

—  "To My Chum"

It scares me how much I love you. I’ve left everything behind, moved countries even if it was the toughest decision, etc. Loving you is never a bad thing, but it scares me because if I was to ever lose you, I would literally have nothing left. I’m scared every minute of every day because I fear you’ll look at someone else the way I want you to look at me. I’m scared because I hate me. I hate my looks, how I act, my body, how I talk, everything. You’re the only person to make me feel I’m at least decent as you’ve stayed with me for so long and if I lost that, I will lose myself. Before you, I had no hope..I thought my life would end up boring and stuck living in a place that made me suicidal every day. Before you..I didn’t even want to try to live…I lost all of my friends, and you were still by my side. I’m so scared because you’re so special to me, and I’m so damn sure I’ll never break up with you..I fear every day that you’ll move on, that you’ll find better, you’ll get bored of me, I’ll annoy you..and it hurts because I really need to know why you would even want to be with and stay with me..because I wouldn’t…but I’m so thankful and grateful for you being in my life..and I’ll love you endlessly…

I’m scared…
I’m scared that you’ll find someone much better than I;
Much prettier,
Much smarter,
Much happier,
Much more interesting,
Much simpler,
Much sexier,
Than I.
I’m scared that I’m not the only one that excites you and captures your attention.
I’m scared that you’ll get sick of me and give up.
I’m scared that you’ll realize how much better someone is than I am.
I’m scared that I’m not the person you fall asleep thinking of.
I’m scared that you’d much rather look at other gorgeous girls than sit around with me.
I’m so scared that I’m going to lose you, the one person that I’d give up everything for, to someone else who would never ever do the things that I have done and will do for you.
I know that I’m being irrational and fearing things that I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it.
I envy every single girl that gets to see you smile and laugh whenever I’m not around because I’m not a fool to think that they don’t fall instantly for you like I did…
But I’ll keep my mouth shut, and never tell you these fears that shake me to my very core…
I love you more than I could have ever imagined - which is why I’m so scared of losing you…