I understand this so well. Sometimes when we open up to people it can be very frightening, especially when all we’ve known is to keep our secrets to ourselves.
Not too long ago I had a friend tell me some very intense things. Things she hadn’t told even people very close to her. And very soon after I felt her pull away.
I’m very much like you and didn’t know how to deal with it and so I gave her distance. With time though, that distance grew wider, until she closed all the way back up again. I never knew how to bridge that gap.
If I could have that time again, I would’ve reached out and reminded her that it was okay. And that her words and fears were safe with me. I don’t know exactly how you can do that. Or what words you should use. But let him know you are still there and that you will still be there, no matter what else comes to light.
Maybe he doesn’t know how to deal with someone finally knowing something about him that he has hidden for so long. I don’t think its about you judging him, but more him feeling like he’s lost his ground, control or balance.
Let him feel that you are there, without feeling like you are intruding. A friendly and light reminder that everything is still okay.
I hope this will work for you x