i-did-not-ask-for-these-feelings

show me some place i’d like (make me feel like i’m dreaming)

[Fool’s Gold Chapter 19 Deleted Scenes, or: Carmilla is really very sweet, and grocery shopping is an awesome date.

olivia & bianca ask me to do these for fun. i did not come up with hsau. i am not interjecting my own issues into these fics. i make no money from these. i do not encroach on the timeline nor advance the narrative. they tell me which scenes to put in. i add little details. the scenes are canon. // a03.]

//

show me some place i’d like (make me feel like i’m dreaming)
.

hit the lights so i can see / that you & me are company / enough to make the sun explode
—dresses, ‘sun shy’

//

You’re at lunch in Carmilla’s AP English 11 teacher’s classroom; Mrs. Cordova apparently loves her, and before she’d eaten lunch with you, sometimes she’d eaten in there and talked about books. It sounds lonely, but you’re glad she has a few people who care about her.

And apparently Mrs. Cordova doesn’t care at all that Carmilla brings you along—you don’t want to sit in the cafeteria today because you’re not super hungry but also because you kind of want to hold Carmilla’s hand and kiss her a lot. They’d talked about whatever Carmilla’s reading outside of class right now—something about solitude and magical realism, whatever that means—after Carmilla had introduced you. You’d kind of zoned out and picked at your salad but mostly stared at her, because she was picking apart a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off in between excitedly and seriously talking about the book. Mrs. Cordova is just as excited and serious, and she has cool cat-eye glasses and greying, curly hair that’s a little out of control, and you’ve never really seen Carmilla as excited about something as she is right now, and you kind of love Mrs. Cordova a little bit in those moments.

And when Carmilla sort of unthinkingly kisses you quickly—and she tastes young, like childhood, and something inside of you aches at that—Mrs. Cordova doesn’t really bat an eyelash other than smiling warmly. She has to go to a staff meeting, though, but she lets you both stay.

Keep reading

When did this start?

When did finishing my
Homework become
More important than
Sleeping at night?

At what point did I
Start thinking more about
My GPA and ACT scores
Than about my health?

These numbers take
Priority over everything else
And I’ve memorized them
Inside and out

But I couldn’t tell you
What I’m feeling right now
Because my emotions
Do not matter enough

I’ve got more important things
On my plate than
What’s in my head so I just
Don’t pay attention to that

All I can focus on is these
Numbers and tests and
Projects instead
But the question I keep asking is

When did this start?

i get messages everyday asking me how i lost weight so here it is:

i quit drinking 4 months ago and lost bloat/weight because of it - i have no idea how much or even if it was a substantial amount 

i do not do any exercise (although i should) besides dancing around my living room

there is no “secret” - i did not intend to lose weight nor did i quit drinking alcohol in order to do so - i did because of a million other reasons and i look and feel great because of it which is a huge plus

i will no longer answer questions about my “weight” - my tips to you are to eat healthy and exercise :P

if you have any questions regarding quitting alcohol then please, go ahead and reach out to me <3 

Knowing

When it comes to intuition I’ve found that people are often too much in their head. I know that personally I’ve wasted far too much time rooting around my mind for the answers and feeling discouraged when they were wrong. I was sure I did not have what it took, and would never be able to access my intuition. After some reading, reevaluating, and realisation, I went looking in the right place, and found that it had been there all along.

The expression “gut feeling” really tells you what you need to know. In moments of spontaneous intuition people often experience their knowing deep down at their core. Seek your answers there, rather than waiting for spontaneous realisation. Focus on your core, just below your naval. Before you make a choice ask yourself if it is the right decision. If your insides are churning, if you have a bad feeling “in the pit of your stomach”, the answer is no. If all you find there is peace, go for it. The answer will not be a voice speaking clearly in your head. Listen to the subtle messages of your body. Your spirit inhabits your entire physical form and then some. Train yourself to listen to your intuition, learn to observe and gage situations through it. It is a mighty tool that should be used and respected for what it is.

We’ve lost another brother today, Ash Haffner of Charlotte, NC. I cannot stand the chain of trans death that has occurred since Leelah Alcorn left us.

It is, of course, very important to publicize these awful things and fight for a better future of trans youth. However, the kinds of posts that are being made to do that are romanticized just enough to make anyone of us that are mentally ill, and/or feel alone stop and think “if I did it, I’d be a 200k tumblr post and a trending topic on Twitter, too. If I did it, people would care about me.” I know this because it’s crossed my own mind more than once. Please keep us safe. Tell us you love us while we’re here, and remind us that we’re not alone.

For anyone battling with mental illness here are a list of national hotlines. You’re welcome in my ask box as well. Please stay with me, my brothers and sisters and non-binary siblings, I can’t change the world without you.

Suicide Prevention lifeline:1-800-273-8255
Trans lifeline:877-565-8860
GLBT National Help Center:1-888-843-4564

Please feel free to add any lifelines you know of.

You’re in my heart.

anonymous asked:

just curious, why do you like kris? i don't have anything against him, but my first impression of him is just that he looks cocky, that's all. so i just wanna hear from someone who's a fan. and you always give good responses so yeah :D

I have a lot of feelings about Wu Yifan.

When I first got into EXO I really wanted nothing to do with him, but as time went on I really did start to like the way he interacted with others.  I like that he looked out for Tao while he was in EXO and that he wasn’t one of the boys who jumped on the colorism train whenever he had the chance.

I like that he’s just very goofy and guyish - he is cocky, but he doesn’t come across as overly dickish about it.  He’s just confident with himself, I guess?

I like that he has tattoos.  I like tattoos.

I like that when his career wasn’t going the way he wanted it to go, and when he was being treated in ways that he did not approve of, he stood up for himself and checked out.  More people need to realise that it’s okay to think of yourself first and your friends and coworkers second when it comes to your life and well-being.

I like that while the EXO members were actively throwing him under buses for leaving, he quietly endured it and did not strike back.

I like how cute he is when he interacts with kids.

I like how his singing voice might not be as strong as other peoples’ but he tries anyway.  I like that you can hear his nervousness when he sings, because nervousness is so humanizing.  I like how he spent hours and hours in a studio, recording and re-recording and re-recording again, until he got the song to a place where he felt it was good enough for us.

I like how much he cares about his mom.

I like how he still makes time to play basketball.  I like his stupid little apple stem ponytail when his hair gets too long.

I like how he genuinely seems to enjoy what he’s doing now, and that it seems to be making him happy.

I like his stupid silver-white hair.

I like his stupid black hair.

I like the stupid shaved spots on his eyebrow.

I like the way his face looks when he smiles.

I like that he’s afraid of weird shit.

Most of all, I like that he’s just a normal person.  Sometimes a little selfish, sometimes a little too focused on his own things probably, but really aren’t we all like that?

And thus ends Chapter One: A Story

And geez, did it take forever!  I’m so happy to have finished it and I’m so happy to eventually move on to Chapter Two!

Thank you all so much for all the support you’ve given me throughout this!  It’s you guys who keep this silly little blog chugging along!

I can’t wait for the next Chapter in Discord and Fluttershy’s story!  We’re taking a little break before we begin it, so feel free to ask some basic stuff or even ask me something you want to know about Chapter One!

This is also a PERFECT time to go back and read the whole chapter.  You can find a link to all the story posts on the blog’s main page. 

So go ahead and read it.  Already read it?  Read it again.  Have only read half?  Go read what you missed.  Have no idea what is going on?  Figure it out and click that link on the main page.

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVELIES EEE!

anonymous asked:

Hello! I love your blog, and agree with your posts on the injustice that is the Naruto ending. I'd just like to ask, what are your thoughts on NaruSaku? I think if SNS hadn't been canon, they were the next best couple. NH was a complete impossibility for me, especially with the BS The Last tried to sell. I feel horrible of how Sakura's character was treated overall. Such a shame.

NaruSaku would’ve been fine by me because Naruto actually did love Sakura. But it also would’ve needed to be more developed - they could end the manga beginning to try dating, as in “Look, I know I’m not entirely in love with you yet, but I AM over Sasuke and I’d like to give us a try” from Sakura.

That would’ve been a decent hetero ending to the series, especially since it’d actually strengthen the bond amongst team 7 - Sasuke and Sakura would be able to become friends, Naruto would be the buffer that pulls her up and doesn’t let Sasuke put her down, and the three of them would be able to grow into adulthood together without excluding other people (pretty much the same way that a SNS ending would’ve done as well).

:) i hate my mom for making me feel like i don’t matter and i hate my sister for being a terrible person and i hate that when i told my mom i don’t like them and can’t wait to move out she assumes im just a terrible person for no reason :)

Corruption is subtle, just like the Bible said. Many young poets have come to me and asked, How am I gonna make it? They feel, and often with considerable justice, that they are being overlooked while others with less talent are out there making careers for themselves. I always give the same advice. I say, Do it the hard way, and you’ll always feel good about yourself. You write because you have to, and you get this unbelievable satisfaction from doing it well. Try to live on that as long as you’re able. Don’t kiss anyone’s ass. Wait and be discovered or don’t be discovered. I think I did it the hard way. I didn’t kiss anyone’s ass; I waited a long time; I didn’t go to a school that would give me advantages. I didn’t publish a book that anyone read until I was forty. But to be utterly honest, I think if something hadn’t happened about then I might have become a very bitter man. It was getting to me. If I’d had to wait until I was fifty I don’t know what lousy things I might have done.
Today,
  • I could feel spring coming already, it was a sunny bright day and the crocus flowers in my granny’s garden have started to come out
  • sat down at a café with my grandparents and had a freshly pressed orange juice while my grandfather ordered a triple espresso
  • you know you’re a coffee addict when you order a triple espresso in a desperate attempt to feel energized and you still manage to take a nap afterwards hahaha
  • did some school work but not nearly enough but oh well the universe is wonderful and huge and school work isn’t that important
  • was asked to wake up my sister this morning and she yelled at me, some people wake up grumpy
  • took a shower and didn’t close the curtains so I could dance around and look at myself in the mirror facing the shower
  • bought my brother a couple delicious raw food bars that he likes so he would be too full to eat the dried meat he usually eats in the evenings… hope it works
  • met a girl from my primary school class, she came up to me and kissed me on the cheek before I realised who she was haha but then we had a little chat and it was nice to remember my primary school days when I was too shy to speak to anyone at all
  • opened the windows wide this morning and stared outside for twenty minutes, listening to the birds singing in the trees, took out my camera and filmed the view from my window and tried to capture the sounds I could hear, they reminded me of peaceful early spring Sundays when I used to wear dresses and go to my granny’s house to have a Sunday meal with my family back when all my brothers and sisters were small and cute
  • got sick in the car but now I feel better
  • ate a tomato sandwich for dinner, I didn’t feel like making a soup like I did every second day this week
  • got to see another one of my brothers before I leave tomorrow

It was a happy day

anonymous asked:

Woah, saw you're blog is completely Frozen free :O. I know you don't have to like it, but I'm just curious: Did you not see it or do you have a dislike for it???

no, i like it. i’m just….very, very tired of it. i see it literally everywhere and i don’t really care for the fandom. i like the movie itself but i don’t feel the need to have it on my blog.

It’s 2:30am and a miserable Antonio and I are awake, lamenting over our illness, both of us whining and complaining about every ailment, while our smallest ones snore on beside us.

"Do you think we’ll ever get better." He asks and I tell him that we won’t. Ever probably. But that at least we made it out of February.

And this cutie. He says; “Rabbit, rabbit. Did you forget?” I didn’t but I thanked him for remembering because sometimes I swear he doesn’t listen to a damn word I say, and it turns out that he actually kind of does, and it made me feel all gross and lovey towards him. Ew.

anonymous asked:

I feel like i'm last to know or see this video of Gilinsky slapping Johnson, but why did he slap him? Like what happened and where is the original video from? Its the one where gilinsky is wearing a black t-shirt that says 'Nike' and Johnson is wearing is wearing a white t-shirt.

Here’s the video 

& Here’s what really happened :

anonymous asked:

Is there a way to go into med school after doing PharmD? My dream was alway med school but unfortunately i did not get accepted in my country.. I am now completing 5 yrs of pharmD in a couple of years but i still feel like doing med school ..

If pursuing a career in the medical field has always been your dream, please don’t stop dreaming just because it didn’t work out once like you wanted to. 

"If opportunity doesn’t open a door, build a door"

Retake the admission exam every single year until you’re sitting on that desk in med school. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be that you should study in your country, maybe it was a sign to study abroad? ;)

If you deeply want it from your heart to study medicine, there’ll always be a way!!

All the best for your future & rock that acceptance process ;) I believe in you!

anonymous asked:

Hello :) can I request the GOM, Kagami, Takao and Imayoshi reaction or opinion when their S/O wears red lipstick? Would the guys become cautious that other guys would stare at their S/O lips as well? Thank you for all your hard work :D

this feels so taylor swift lol

I’m gonna write it as if their s/o suddenly did it.

Kuroko: He’d be mildly shocked to see you use such a bold colour. It did look nice on you, making your lips defined. He’d openly compliment you about your lips.

Kagami: He would be surprised by the red lipstick but it did make your lips seem more desirable. He is embarrassed by what he thinks and also doesn’t like that people are eyeing your lips. He’d probably ask you to revert back to your usual light coloured lip gloss.

Kise: He likes it a lot. He’s a model himself so he knows about style and fashion. He appreciates the change in your look as it makes you appear more attractive and appealing to him so he definitely approves.

Midorima: He isn’t really affected by it, since he doesn’t really care about your make up, but he does notice the contrast from before. When you ask him about it he would comment nonchalantly that there isn’t much of a difference, but he secretly thinks that red lipstick indeed looks good on you.

Takao: He immediately notices the red lipstick, says it’s sexy to see you in red lipstick and teases you about it. But beside all the teasing and jokes, he really does find your lips more attractive than before.

Aomine: He loves it because he thinks it’s hot and sexy. It makes him want to kiss you more, and it turns him on that when you kiss him, it leaves red traces all over his lips, too. However, he is also not happy about how other guys noticed your lips more often, and like to openly kiss you in public to make it a point that you are his. And the only one that can kiss your lips till the lipstick smudges all over is only him.

Murasakibara: The bright red colour catches his eye and he does like the change. He thinks that your lips look interestingly more delicious, and finds the urge to kiss you more often.

Akashi: He compliments you gentlemanly about how it makes you look more mature and classy. But while he thinks it looks beautiful, he doesn’t like that other guys stare at your lips like a pack of wolves so you would see him glaring at them and scaring the shit out of them. He thinks it’s disrespectful of them to view you in any way sensual and inappropriate.

THEO JAMES GIF HUNT

Under the cut you will find #249 roleplayable, textless, small/medium gifs of the actor Theo James. None of these are mine, however I did crop or resize MOST of them. If any of these are yours and you want credit or them taken down, feel free to message me and I will do as you ask.Likes or reblogs would be appreciated.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

pls dont judge me for this, i feel so empty, i prayed to God and asked for love and waited and waited and it never came and then i became so lonely i started hooking up with strangers and i felt horrible afterwards because the boys were shitty but i still wanted it i did stuff not actual sex but i couldnt feel remorseful cause i had fun and now im losing faith in my religion cause i dont understand why meaningless sex is a sin when it fills the emptiness inside me, my anger at God is hurting me

Who am I to judge you? 

Many of us go through that phase in our Imaan where we feel down, feel Allah swt does not Love us or we have lost that connection with him.

Either we keep screwing things up, or feel burdened by our sins or feel our deeds are not good enough to be accepted by Allah Azzawajal. But the fact of the matter is, we have to hold on and hope in the Mercy of Allah swt, no matter how bad we may be. As Allah swt says:

"O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.’"

[At-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal)]

He swt let us fall to make us realize that no one, nothing will rescue us but Him swt. He swt tests us because He swt knows subhan Allah that our hearts are pure no matter the sin we commit. Don’t forget, Allah swt doesn’t hate the sinner, He swt hates the sin. Maybe you can try to learn more about your Lord, read more books, I’m sure you won’t feel that emptiness in your heart, cause let me tell you something, more you know about your Lord and His Qadr, more you will not let yourself getting tempted in this dunya and you won’t follow the shaytan anymore. Being aware of His Qadr, Knowing your Lord keep you from sinning wallahi. I’m not saying that you will not sin anymore, we all sin in this dunya.

The human being will never reach the purest state, I mean he will never become the most perfect believer as it is described in the Qur’an? That’s why Allah swt keeps on forgiving His creation! 

May Allah swt guide you into the sirat al mustaqim and soften your heart. May Allah swt keep you away from sinning and the whispers of Shaytan. Allahumma Amin. 

anonymous asked:

I'm asking that you pray for me. I gave my all in my most recent relationship & he broke up with me almost a month ago and is now with another girl. We had sexual relations & I feel worthless knowing I did. I know God has better but why am I hurting

Because love sinks some times! :( 

God never failed one of His people when they cried out to Him, and He will not fail the heartbroken Christian who cries out to Him today. He may not always answer exactly in the way we would like, but He answers according to His perfect will and timing and, while we are waiting for the answer, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Those who belong to Christ and are enduring heartbreak must know that God loves them and that His love is unconditional. Imagine the grief God the Father endured as He witnessed the crucifixion of His Son on the cross. What amazing love! That same God is there to comfort the brokenhearted and restore the joy of their salvation.