i-cant-deal-w-this

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This American Life – Ira dressed as a dog dressed as Ira

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright… ok now…

a conversation overheard in the stairwell
  • kid 1:NAH MAN, im not even joking! sapphire got ONE EYE.
  • me:oh
  • kid 2:LISTEN!!!! SHE HAS 2!!!!
  • kid 1:WHY THE FUCK GARNET HAS THREE EYES THEN
  • me:oh shit
  • kid 2:ITS A PERK!!!! AALL THR FUSIONS HAVE PERKS MALACHITE HAD ARMLEGS DUDE, JASPER DONT HAVE ARMLEGS! LAPIS DONT HAVE ARMLEGS!!
  • me:OH SHIT
  • kid 1:i honestly cant deal w u right now
3

OK GUYS

so my mom picked me up from the boston airport today & surprised me with a cute daxson named max!!! it’s the bottom one! I was so happy and she told me that she saved him from a mean woman who abused him in tennessee…but THEN i go home and i find ANOTHER ONE  named molly running around my house. the people at the shelter told m mom that they had to be purchased together becuz they r an inseparable pair!! i literally cannot believe this ok this was the best surprise of my life. they are so sweet and cuddly and they nuzzle you while you lay down omfg i am so happy