i-am-so-shy-to-tell-them

I probably had over a 100 asks now about the shipping thing, and I am still doing them if people want me to do them! Because people always begin with: Hey are you still doing the ship thing?

Just so you know, yes I am! ^-^ So don’t be shy and send me an ask where you tell me a little bit about yourself.

So in honor of making my first thousand before my 18th birthday, I decided to make my first follower forever! The following 51 blogs below are ones that I absolutely adore (though…I adore all the blogs I follow tbh). These blogs always fill my dash with geh oppars whether if it’s Infinite, B.A.P, or some other godly man group oheohoho ♥ I tharngay you all with the bottom of my hurt…because you guys make it beat one by one oOoOOH (●˘ᴗ˘)ノ゙ 

bolded blogs make me crey geh sugar and rainbows ~

blondechan, chugyeogja, daesoo, derpchann, duubu, evolution-infinite, greasynamgyucakes, gyudeergyugyu-ish, gyu-jjang, gyuswoo, hamstergyu, himsoo, hoebaeby, hoya-shi,  infinitely-sweet, infinite-oppas, infinitesoo, infinite-that-i-love, inspirits-cafe, iwantkimmyungsoo, jaejoongs, jieu, jjangsoo, joongkii, joungup, kaismatic, kpopper-luvmyunghoar, myunghuns, myungpenis, myungsoo-biased, namgyutie, namhearts, namswife, namwoohyun-ah, ohmyhogod, only-myungsoosexoyeol, supersnazzy, teuwoo, thaehun, thoulgyuye0llipop, yeolkeopisoo, sungyeolchan, yonggvkyours-inspirit, 46346483

a curse on anxiety for making me incapable of ever being eloquent or quip with a comeback

MY GRADE IN GEOMETRY JUST GOT RAISED THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO SLEEP YES

anonymous asked:

daisuga for the ask meme thingy

How differently do they think of each other now compared to when they first met?
They were both super shy when they first met, and would occasionally steal glances at each other (not that they still don’t do it), but now, they’re both extremely comfortable with one another. If any one of them had a problem, the other would be able to tell, and console them. They also sometimes act lovey-dovey in public without realizing it.


What do their friends/family think of their relationship?

Everyone approves of their relationship.

Sugawara’s family were really supportive from the very start. Before the two had begun dating, they would have ‘study sessions’ at Suga’s place. His mother, or whomever was home at the time, would tease them, saying things such as “Wow Koushi, I didn’t know your boyfriend was such a hunk.” or “So, when is the wedding?”. They would also bring up baby photos and embarrassing stories, which leaves Suga red faced, and curling up in a ball with his hands covering his face.

Daichi’s family is more traditional, and conserved, and because of this, he did his best to hide their relationship. However, his parents became rather suspicious, scared that their son might be gay. As soon as they found out, they immediately advised that the two break up, because if they didn’t, Daichi would end up homeless. He felt conflicted, but after some thought, he decided his best option was to bottle things up, and leave everything as they were. About a week after, Suga confronted Daichi about him ‘acting strange’, which led to him telling his boyfriend literally everything. Suga ended up suggesting that they can continue dating, so long as things were kept at a minimum, and have Daichi introduce him to his parents once things settled down. Several months later, Daichi finally gains the confidence to invite Suga over for dinner, lying to his parents that we was bringing a girl over. Fortunately enough for him, Suga wins them over with his natural charm, and the dinner goes along swimmingly. Mrs.Sawamura kept asking Koushi questions about her son, and how he was treating him, while Mr.Sawamura remained silent, speaking once in a while. Of course, Suga told her every little detail. Like how one time, he forgot to bring his umbrella during a heavy downpour, and they ended up sharing one. Daichi would walk on the side by the road so that if any cars were to drive by, Suga would not get splashed. Or another time where he misplaced his jacket, and Dachi lent him his. By the time Suga and Mrs.Sawamura had finished talking, the sun had already set. He ended up staying for the night, after much insisting by Daichi’s mother. In the end Daichi’s parents agreed to their relationship, so long as he continues treating their future son-in-law right.


How do their personalities/skills complement or contrast with each other?
Daichi is a down to earth guy, while Suga is high up in the clouds. What one lacks, the other has. When one needs a push, or a helping hand, the other will be there, supporting them all the way. They complement each other so well, it’s almost ridiculous.


What is their favorite aspect of each other?
Daichi absolutely loves Suga’s smile, and his soothing personality. It makes him feel at ease, that as long as Suga is beside him, he’ll have less things to worry about. Suga’s favourite thing about Daichi is that he’s hard working. He’s also in love with Daichi’s voice, so when he can’t sleep, he’ll get Daichi to hum a melody.


Do either of them have pet peeves about each other?
Although they don’t have any pet peeves of each other, Suga dislikes it when Daichi gets angry. He says it’s a side that should be avoided.


How would each reconcile with each other after a fight?
It’s really rare when they fight, but if such a thing were to happen, Daichi would see to it that Koushi gets a proper apology, and then treat him to super spicy mapo tofu.


What would be their ideal vacation getaway together?
Sugawara would want to do something more exciting, but they’d end up staying at home, cuddling while watching a movie. A vacation where they can both relax, and enjoy each other’s company is ideal.


Think of a new way (AU, different situation, etc.) they could have met for the first time.
Daichi is a single father, juggling work, and spending time with his kid. Because of his ever so busy schedule, his child has to be put into a daycare. At the end of the day, when Daichi come  to pick his son up, Kiyoko or Michimiya is there to greet him. But one day, he is greeted by another face. Sugawara Koushi. A man so beautiful, angels weep. Of course, Daichi ends up falling in love with him. Suga, on the other hand hadn’t expected his favourite child’s father to be so good looking. However, upon hearing the child happily exclaim “Father!!!”, he gets disappointed. A man so ridiculously sexy in a white collar shirt, is more than likely happily married to a beautiful woman.

Despite believing this, Koushi would start a conversation, telling Daichi about how well his child was being. Somehow, Suga ended up saying that it was a shame that Daichi was married because he thinks that he’s super attractive, and has such a great personality. In response, Daichi would half yell that he was divorced. Upon realizing what he had said, he would repeat it, but in a softer tone. Suga can’t help but giggle at this, and offers to take Daichi out on a date.

Their first date would start off being really awkward, but would smooth out as it continues. However, they don’t start dating until the 5th date. Eventually, Koushi moves in with Daichi, and they adopt another boy, along with a tiny German Sheppard. 

anonymous asked:

I am way too shy to ask you off anon about anything but... how did blue and oc you meet? Did he just liek appear out of nowhere or something like that? Also , is Lainey Keiko's angel? Or is it Cozaline?

Angels choose humans to partner with based on soul compatibility, so Blue and Nat (just gonna call OC me that from now on since it’s easier) were a match. And yeah, basically the angels just appear, tell you why they are there and ask if you are willing to partner with them. 

and Cozaline is Keiko’s angel :> ALSO I didnt have room on the post, but these are keiko and cozaline’s weapons:

Keiko-

Cozaline-

I haven’t designed Lainey’s partner yet sadly//

clarabranson asked:

I'm terribly sorry to bother you. I'm scared of what you might say. I think you might be angry with me. I'm painfully shy and quiet. I don't know how to tell you this. I've written loads of fanfics about you. They were very erotic and sexual. I'm ashamed of myself. I had a crush on you and I've moved on since but it's still hard. I still care about you a lot. Im so sorry, professor, to have been so selfish and only thinking about my own fantasies. Please forgive me.

clarabranson,

You need not feel such shame. There are many, young and old, who have fantasised, and written stories of their salacious fantasies. I am not affected by them as I do not write them.

I have long since come to realise that nothing of my life, my mythos, is sacred. It will be dreamt of, written about, and whispered of as of giggling students between classes at Hogwarts. What I feel about the imaginations of others matters not at all.

Therefore, if forgiveness soothes your psyche then so I shall bestow it. You are forgiven.

If I may relate a true story (with That Woman’s permission) that you might find relevant. That Woman, as a teenage, was greatly enamoured of Star Trek’s Vulcan Science Officer Spock. There was no internet then but she had dozens of spiral-bound notebooks with stories and scenes erotic. That Woman grew older, wrote much less about such things, but she retained her crush upon the Vulcan.

Imagine her mortification when That Woman met the Vulcan Spock, Leonard Nimoy himself; the director of Star Trek: The Voyage Home.
Filming was taking place in Monterey, California at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. One day a crowd of fans were allowed to watch the filming. The crowd was assembled in an adjacent parking area. That Woman, as shy as any young fan would be, still managed a bit of bravery that provided her a front seat to filming on the hood of a shiny rental car.

The filming was done. The fans appreciated it, and many dispersed. That Woman and her friend lingered as they chatted over this momentous event in their lives. As they were talking, a voice interrupted them…
"Ladies…" and then a hand rested on my shoulder. "I am in need of my car as I need to meet my friends for lunch."

That Woman turned and found herself face-to-face with Spock (in full costume). She slid off the hood from mortification, and weak knees, and was caught by the gentleman before she could fall like a graceless heap upon the asphalt.

It turned out that the actor Leonard Nimoy was not at all angry if but a bit amused. He was pleased at meeting That Woman and her friend, they chatted a bit, and then he drove off to lunch.

clarabranson, you need not be ashamed of quite natural, youthful fancies. It is understandable. Perhaps, you might even find them something to smile over.

Your compassion towards me is most flattering, and I am pleased to know of it, but more to know of you.

~Severus Snape (prof. ret.)

anonymous asked:

No one ever sends me anons and I see you get them all the time and it makes me mad cause I have like 430 followers and no one talks to me

Well tbh I’m constantly reblogging posts that are like ask me/tell me things and honestly I think I have lost a lot of followers because I reblog them so much.

And even though I have a decent amount of followers I am pretty sure these wonderful anons aren’t as many as you think they are LOL. I think they’re probably a few awesome people who are just too shy or something to come off anon, or just prefer anonymity. Whatever their reasoning I love them and think about them a lot because they make my day brighter.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I saw your answer for weirdotwin2, and I would like to humbly suggest that you hold some chapters of BIn and release them once a week later, not the entire thing, just an amount that will give you some air and space to think and write without the pressure people keep putting on you. Yes, we will have to wait till you write a significant number of chapters, but we'll be happy when we get them regularly and you less stressed. Sorry about the anonymous, but I'm really shy.

Nothing wrong with being shy! :)

I am going to keep going for now, just because we’re at a part in the story that I have been excited to get to. I can tell you that there may be a little bit of a slowdown within the next five or so chapters, just because this is a chunk where I know what is happening and where their “relationship” is, I just need to establish what particular scenes I want to add in to support what’s already there. The scenes I have already done for some of the upcoming chapters aren’t necessarily enough to make up entire chapters yet. So whereas you may see, let’s say, ch 10 relatively soon and 11 relatively soon after that, 12, 13, 14 might come a little more slowly.

anonymous asked:

I think i like your reasoning of it better actually. But could you imagine what the others would think seeing Tsuna pulling off female clothes? I get the idea that some of them might try cross dressing instead to try and stop him from going but Tsuna is really stubborn and some of them just don't look great as girls (I am currently imagining Xanxus in a miniskirt)-The Shy One

Of course they would, that’s their precious Sky! I could see Gokudera probably going to Haru and telling her to make him into a respectable woman, and even recruiting Bianchi because the situation is so desperate. Shamal gets a kick out of it, but unfortunately Gokudera just can’t do ‘girl’. 

Takeshi would try it and then try to convince Hibari to do it, and Hibari would just glower. He’s intelligent enough to know that none of them are ‘girl’ enough to do this, but the little animal is, and he’s not going to embarrass himself in a dress if the little animal is going to do it.

Lambo would also try, because this is his big brother. Again though, no go. Ryohei would ask Kyoko to do the same, but Kyoko would talk him out of it, because she understands.

Mukuro would laugh and use his powers to turn himself into a less-than-respectable woman, complete with short miniskirt and high leather heels. Chrome would blush but do her best to be bold, only to end up passing out after a while. Tsuna would thank them both and send them on their way.

Xanxus gets Squalo to try it, and then Lussuria jumps in and gets them all dragged up, but Tsuna has to politely tell them that no, none of them look the part. He’s got more ‘stage presence’ as a woman, he’s got the knowledge of how to move and act, so he’ll have to do it. 

Reborn’s a little more understanding, because he’s seen Tsuna dress up before, but he’s still worried. There are only a number of things you can do to make yourself into the opposite sex before things like surgery come into play, and if their target gets touchy, Tsuna will find himself with a bullet in his brain. 

This is not to do with fitness or weightloss...

I am often quite shy. But not always - I’m a mix of extro and introvert. I do sometimes prefer to be asked out by the other person because I’m insecure. But if I really wanna ask a guy out I will ask them out for fuck’s sake. And if they have a problem with that then I’m not really that fucking interested.
I say this because a mate last night tried to tell me that you should always let men do the asking so they feel in control because ‘in the long term’ as flattering as it might be they don’t want to feel emasculated. And after all ‘it’s so easy to manipulate them into asking’.
Fuck off, I’m not playing games with people. We are adults you silly cow. I don’t do any of that waiting 3 days shit or treating em mean and keeping em keen or anything. I’m just fucking honest because I have respect for myself and other people. If a guy isn’t comfortable with me being assertive when I wanna be he’s not someone I’m interested in. And I’m not interested if he’s not mature enough to be comfortable with not being a perfect macho man and can’t deal with women actually being real people who can take control of situations.
She then said ‘well that rules out 99% of men then’. Firstly, bullshit, all the men I’ve dated have been fine with that kinda stuff. That kind of stereotyping is playing them down and assuming no men can be mature fucking humans who see women as people rather than prizes they must chase and control. And it’s belittling women, saying they have to be in that submissive role if they wanna get any. Secondly, good. If that filters out most of the sexist fuckboys then I am damn happy to limit my potential dating choices by being assertive.
I feel like I shouldn’t even need to say this. It’s so basic. Sometimes my friends disappoint me so much. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT
Rant over.

SHIPPING YOU SAY…

WELL i am Super Shy so i’m RLLY BAD WHEN IT COMES TO APPROACHING PEOPLE RIP…but yea i’m!! p much shipping garbage tbh really just. character relationship trash in general i love character relationships and love writing abt them……….. (although you could probably tell i’m rlly into character relations just by looking at the few relationship opinion stars i’ve done on natsuya’s blog so far tbh. the longest one so far is almost 3k words long and i haven’t even gotten to the vast majority of them)

also i am a huge multishipper of all kinds so if you think i mightn’t like smth rest assured i will. i will consider everything. i will ship a l l. mono and poly romo relationships? platonic relationships? familial relationships? qp relationships? hate relationships? i am here for everything damn i love character relationships

(also prepare for me to probably make a shitty fanmix about the charas in question via harnessing my questionable middle school alt/rock emo music taste. also aus, i love aus pls make them with me)

Time and Regret...a cautionary tale...

When I first started writing these blogs, I never knew what they would mean to me. I was told it would be therapeutic, enlightening, and so many other things that would uplift and bring positivity to my life.

While I am not sure of all of that I know it has given me a chance to get things off my chest, things that I have held for so long and am unable to tell people and furthermore do not want to tell people. Believe it or not, for such a supposed outgoing person I am a shy, and very jaded individual that spends a lot of his time in overly thinking things because I do not give myself the opportunity to open up to people. But I hope that as I write more, and people read more, it shall explain me to them, explain me to me, and why I am the way I am

Recently when my father was in town we were sitting down to have one of our many neighbourhood Lebanese meals and he told that having read some of my posts that he realized that I knew what mistakes I had made in my first stint of college and that he saw regret. He had never known that I regretted anything, I guess that makes sense, I tend to move forward from things that I want to forget, but all it does is make it so I do not need to discuss it, but it says in back of my brain burrowing a hole that I want to hid in like so many of my experiences.

This notion of regret made me think, I damaged my future, my health, my relationship with members of my family, and had damaged the relationship between my parents for those years that I was in Boston as they fought to come up with fixes to all my issues.

How could I not regret, I had hurt the people I love the most, pilfered away so much money that I had seen my father work so hard for, and most of all; wasted time. Time….. Something that no matter how good looking you are, smart you are, or rich you are; can ever get back once it is gone.

In one way I was relieved that after all these years of him not thinking I gave a damn he was able to see that I know how much damage I had done, and how sorry and grateful I was for all the opportunities, support, love, and chances that they did not need to but still gave me. At the same time, I was also a bit upset, thinking that he thought I was some nonstop partying money blowing robot that could not or would not see the consequences of the decisions I had made and the impact of them on myself and the people around me.

This made me think, time…regret…..regret….time and how damaging the combination can be, and I thought perhaps I could help by telling you a little story, a little chapter of my life, something that has eaten away at me for 14 years, and that I have never been able to tell a soul because I am ashamed and live with the pain every single day, perhaps we could call it…..Time and Regret….A Cautionary Tale……..

When everything was falling down around me in Boston in Jan 1999 my parents made the bold decision to pull me out of college and were determined to not let me go back until I was ready for it no matter how long it took. They decided they would rather have their son in one piece at home, then in many pieces scattered across the Boston University campus.

It was a bold move for them, and a horrible one for me, I left behind all my friends, my possessions everything that I had known for the last 4 years to move to Singapore. Singapore, a place I knew no one, was given no phone, and given no money, and was set-up interning at Citibank with a monthly salary that I would have blown in an hour partying in the US. But we all adjusted, they adjusted to me being at home, and I adjusted to slowly making myself a working contributing normal member of society and of my family.

I spent my time playing squash with dad, hitting Tuesday night movie matinees with mum, and watching my little sister slowly develop into the princess she is today. A lot of Sundays were spent at a specific Starbucks on Orchard Road where I would just watch the rain come down and people watch for hours and hours at a time enjoying the crisp tropical rain.

It was there that one day that a gangly tall pale Polish Canadian teenager asked me if he could sit at my table with his coffee to get a temporary respite from the rain. He sat, we chatted, and Jerrod Smart over the next three years become one of the closest friends to me I have ever had. He was a younger smarter version of me; someone that I knew was destined for greatness. We shared the same love of Iced Espressos at Starbucks, rocked out to Marilyn Manson and Alice in Chains, and loved getting cold pitchers of Tiger and just shooting the shit. There was not one day that we did not see each other or talk to each other that whole year I was in Singapore.

1999 came to a close and my parents deemed me fit for college and I trekked off to school in Australia leaving behind one of my best friends. We chatted all the time, shared stories, and always looked forward to my vacation time in Singapore, nothing changed, I was away, but in spirit it was as if I had never left Singapore or him.

It was during a trip in December 2001 that I had a day stopover before going to see a friend in Cape Town and called Jerrod to see if he was free to meet. He had some plans, and was trying to change them to make time, and I remember being angry and annoyed that I wasn’t first priority. I was supposed to call back and see if he was free, and never did as I went home, slept, packed and flew to Cape Town the next morning. After a great week in Cape Town New Year’s rolled around and as I was getting ready to hit the town I thought of my old friend in Singapore. This was the first New Years in three years I was not going to be with him, and to be honest I kind of wished I was. I fired of an email wishing him a Happy New Year, and that I missed him, he was my brother, and that I could not wait to catch up with him when I was back. I clicked send, jumped in a cab, and went out to have drinks to say good bye to 2001.

It was a good night, and as usual I overdid it, and woke up with a killer hangover. I stumbled down the stairs wishing my hosts a sheepish good morning and sat down at the computer to check my email hoping Jerrod had written back giving 2002 a good start.

As the email fired up I saw an email from .com.sg and knew it was him or my parents checking in on how 2002 had received me.

I proceeded to read an email from Jerrod’s parents about how he had gone out that night, came home very upset, and then left the house again never to return. They later found out that he had committed suicide by jumping off one of the main hotel buildings on the strip in Singapore. I was aghast, shell shocked, and just felt sick to my stomach. I called my mum to get some solace and she mentioned that she had vaguely heard something about it on the news somewhere and did not know it was him.

I lost a friend, a brother, and piece of me that day, and the world lost a young soul that was destined for so much greatness. 14 years have passed since this happened, and I still feel regret for not calling him back to see if we could meet, I regret not being there with him in the one New Year’s Eve he needed me the most and I wish I could relive all the time I had with him all over again. His family shortly moved from Singapore as the pain was too much as it was for all of us then as it is now. To this day I am still in touch with his baby sister who is just as special to me as he was. She just got married and is turning out exactly like I am sure he would have wanted, a bright, beautiful young woman that would make anyone proud. I see all of him in her, and am glad to still be able to cling on to him and our memories through her.

Ironically for two kids that spent so much time together I do not have one picture of us together and do not know if there were any at all. I do however have one picture of him that I can see vividly in my head every time I recollect, but whose original is locked away as it is just too painful to look as it is if his eyes pierce the paper and disappear into me. As much as I miss him, I also curse him for always coming to mind when I hear Nutshell by Alice in Chains which he introduced me to. Over the years every version of it has become my favourite and ironically Layne Staley who wrote and sang the original also committed suicide by taking a lethal overdose of heroine, and just like Jarrod was another brilliant tortured soul that ironically passed in April 2002.

As I end this piece I have not gotten the closure I wanted, but I knew that. I have now learnt to hold my tongue a little more than I used to, and to use it to let the people I care about know it every day and to never miss a moment with them letting them know how truly special they really are.

There is honestly no point in loving someone so strongly if they do not know it and do not feel it. I hope that you take away from this rambling piece of prose that life is fleeting, time stops for no one, and regret is a never ending buffet of pain, and guilt. Hold them, love them, and live each moment as if it was your last…cuz it just might be…….

icecoldnerds asked:

*clears throat* Your Hiro is seriously one of the absolute best ones that I have ever had the honor of interacting with. Whether he's a little tyrant, or a big bad papa wolf, he's amazing. You develop him in so many different and amazing ways, yet you still stay true to his original character. I love how kind and loving he is, but also fiercely protective. He can be a sarcastic asshole, but also a shy little puppy. There are endless possibilities with him, and you do them all amazingly.

How am I doing with my character? Tell me in the askbox, and I’ll publish it without comment.

ambergeeky23 asked:

Hi! My name is Yesenia . Im 13. Uh, well, I wanna be a youtuber. Like greg and/or Joey or like them people's nah saying? Well. I'm shy which is why I don't do it cx bad huh? Anyway any advice 👌👏👏👐

Oh, I’m wanting to be a YouTuber as well. So far, I don’t have much subscribers or viewers.

I was shy. I’m not sure if I am still. I haven’t spoken to like hundreds of people at once, so I can’t tell. Before I started making videos, I tried entering into chat rooms. I never shown my face to them, so I didn’t feel like I was being judged. I probably was, but they probably wouldn’t remember me. There’s also a reason why I didn’t show them my face. If you get used to talking to others, you can handle YouTube.

Also, you don’t have to speak or show your face on YouTube. However, I’m not sure what type of videos you want to make. Me, I play video games on my YouTube channel. I speak, but I don’t show my face.

- NB

My teacher is making us do this activity once a week were our grade is based on his much we talked in class that day. This activity would be fun… if I wasnt me. I get very shy around other, sometimes I get so panicked around others I have an anxiety attack or a panic attack. My teachers don’t know how shy I am. They think I’m fine, all they swe when tjey look at me is just some weird social misfit. And i can tell myself im ok as much as possibld But I’m not OK. No matter how much I say I a im not OK. And this isn’t just me, there are other kids who suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks, but no one notices or cares about them enough to help them. So of your reading this and care about others please repost this so other people can read it, and be aware that social anxiety matters.

Ships and such

hello my loves I have not done ships in a long time so I’ll do them but I’m putting a twist on them…
I am a very open person and I love to talk to you guys and giving advice and such so here is how the ships are going to go:
Ask me personal questions, ask for advice, etc. (make it unique and cool I’ll be 100% honest don’t be shy!)
Follow me (if you want) bc goals
reblog this 
have a face or about me page AND tell me your name please
you’ll get:

Ship: Ashton - Luke - Michael - Calum 
Ship Name: 
Compliment: 
Quote: 

Thank You

I really hate how when people find out that I’m depressed they say “she seems too happy to be like that”. Have you ever heard of a fake smile? I have hurt myself yet everyone sees the mask I put up. You think if you insult me it doesn’t hurt but it DOES. I wish I was able to trust more, and show my emotions and for once be the shy person I really am, but I can only do that at home. They say that the bands I listen to made me depressed, but without them I wouldn’t be here. I’ve tried so hard to be myself yet every fucking time I can’t because I’m afraid I’ll never be enough. It’s bad enough that I’m having trouble to accept myself but when someone tells me what I’m doing isn’t good enough I want to cry. I hate that I’m so fragile that I really want to die and that I want to take a blade to my skin. But I guess no one really sees the girl who’s dying and is broken. You see someone who’s spunky and sassy, but I’m just awkward and shy. I do love music, it’s one of the reasons I’m alive. The worst part is that I’ve gotten so good at hiding what I feel that I don’t feel anything. I just feel empty. I had friend who cut and I asked her where the best places to cut where and where could the cuts be hidden because I was so tired of the emotional pain I was going through. I act like a badass without a heart because I don’t want to feel anymore. I hate feeling this way. I did get help, but all I wanted was for someone to save me from myself. I wanted someone to see through the mask I put on every fucking day and see that I was hurting. You may call me overdramatic but I’m voicing every thing I feel. I hate the way I look. I hate the way my voice sounds. I hate the way I sing. I hate that I show no emotions that are genuine. The songs I listen to helped me when no one else could. My friend Dana saw through it and she helped me. I did want to get better for my family, but I mostly wanted to get better for her. She knew when I needed a hug, she knew when I just wanted to die. I found someone I could lean on. I give good advice to my friends because to keep from drowning I try to save them. It’s my flaw, I put people’s problems before my own. I love the days when I feel the slightest bit of real emotion. When I have my headphones on, I get lost in every lyric sung and every note played. “Darling, you’ll be okay” “don’t give up cause your losing” “never let life kill your spark” These are the lyrics that I listened to when I wanted to give up. Months before I was planning to take my life, I began to listen closely to the lyrics sung. I actually began to rethink my choice and then I got help. In some ways I’m still broken, but I’m slowly healing. So thank to all the bands I listened too. You guys are truly amazing, and I can honestly say I’m slowly starting to enjoy my life. So thank you. And you guys better have fun with your music or I’m going to find you and kick your ass 😄.

Love,
Kayce

Ok i just wanna make a quick post about how much nine,games and cartoons have changed my life, see even though i put a brave face on and try and make sure everyone else is happy, i kinda break on the inside but no one knows as i am too shy to tell people what is going on be hide closed doors. But around four years ago i started to get into anime and then my life changes. As i see characters get over problems and become much happier and confident in themselves and that is what i wanted to be. So i started to take some of the things i have learned from anime and try and make sure i overcome my problems instead of running away from them. And games too. They taught me that you are the hero to your own story and only you know how to make sure it is a happy ending. Yes you will have friends to help along the way, but you are the main character to help come to a great conclusion. And cartoons taught me to try and except who i am, like young justice, they taught me to be a good person and help in anyway i can,but also ask for help when i need it instead of hiding it and making it become too big to handle. So yea that is it really, didn’t think it was gonna be this big but i need to put this down and let people know for some reason. Anyway thank you for being a huge part of my life and making me become a much happier and confident person!