I’m searching for something but I don’t know what.
I feel empty and incomplete.
I don’t feel like i’m accomplishing anything even though I’m doing a lot for myself.
tonight I stupidly looked for the answer for something when I don’t even know the question in you.
I knew you know me. part I don’t know if I was hoping that you would tell me what I need, or if I would find the answer in you.
I got in a fight with the madre tonight, she said I was harsh on people that I couldn’t call people cowards or failures. or whatever I don’t even remember what it was all about.
but I can. because that’s what I see myself as. I feel empty, I feel like a coward. I feel like a failure. and feel stupid and uneducated. I feel like I am trash compared to others. I feel all these dumb ways about myself and i’m so mad at myself for it when all of it is irrelevant.
I’m searching for something. kota my heart is where it belongs with you.
it’s something within myself I need to find.
i’m missing something in my life.
you didn’t even do anything tonight this was dumb and my fault it’s stupid. so stupid and i’m sorry. I totally did disregard what you had to say. I was so angry with myself.
I don’t know what I need to be happy. but like you I have to find it within myself.
stupid and word vomit.
feel like a pussy ha.
honestly frustrated because I don’t know what to do. what direction do I head in
fuck me. i’m fucking dumb.
writing this was a waste of time and stupid. like everything else I feel.