i'm-so-so-so-sorry

uh yeah my name is linds, i’m 20 years old, and i’m sort of unsure about myself. haha i’m actually shaking as i’m typing this. i guess im sort of coming out for the first time, seeing as the only one who knows how i have felt is my best friend, cat.

before coming to tumblr, i didn’t actually know there was a way to be not a girl but also not be a boy at the same time. i never minded being assumed my pronouns were she/her because i just thought there would be no other way to live. i’ve been here for 20 years rejecting my voice, rejecting how i looked so feminine and spoke so feminine. so annoyingly like a girl. i remember that i at least took pride in the fact that my breasts had never grown in, but still crying myself to sleep at night when my mom, who has very large breasts, would assure me that some day i won’t be able to even hold onto that.

cutting my hair short helped me, but only for a short period of time. i felt like i could dress how i wanted and people wouldn’t be able to just misgender me if only i never spoke. nothing really just helps because i’m always confused.

even now, i don’t put my gender on my blog because i just don’t know what or who i am, and it just sucks. i figured that by now i’d be able to figure out who i am, but i just know who i am isn’t a girl. or a boy. what kind of therapist would treat me seriously if i told them that? i guess i just don’t know anymore haha.

not a girl. also not a boy.

Like the babes, I’ve recently decided to part ways with most of my current fandoms and focus my attention on Isaiah Mustafa of Old Spice advertisement fame. Look at this man. He just BEGS for a larger fandom and more fanworks, and I for one am excited to do what I can to contribute. So for now, enjoy my newest tea blend, just for Isaiah

DEAN WINCHESTER GRAPHIC CHALLENGE | samhellbound vs brothersinsync
Prompt: About a boy

2

hello, my name is Zoe Ann/Griffin and I am demi-boy (as far as I know). I wanted to share the story of my long trip of self discovery but I hesitated - hence why this is not the original caption. however, my friend informed me that it’s oddly inspiring??? so I thought I’d shorten it a little and you do not have to read it at all.

anyway, the first picture was taken exactly two years ago when we ventured to devon for my dad’s wedding. I was fourteen in this picture. the trip was very important for many reasons: we were celebrating the death of our amazing dog who we took up there a few years before, my dad marrying his girlfriend of many years and it was when I started thinking about myself bc I actually had time and space to do so. it’s when I remember becoming so constantly sad in life and myself which is sad in itself bc we were there for mainly joyous things.

it took me ages to understand myself and I still really don’t but I have now come to terms with being demi-boy after some exploration, a hair cut and a change of style. so that is me now, in the second picture, a confused and still sad sixteen year old that is still going despite of everything. I am not fully out (having only told my best friend, tumblr and talking to my dad and sister about wanting a breast binder) but that’s okay.

so…happy trans awareness/visibility day. I am sorry to those who are hiding or those whom we have sadly lost: you are all important and rad as heck. I love every single one of you.

youtube

((This is completely out of the blue, but I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while.

Take it as a surprise thanks for 9,500+ followers~!))