i'm-just-dead-right-now

things i hate about spring:

  • memories it evokes from 2002
  • not hearing my mom talk endlessly about the garden
  • it’s rarely ever sweater weather anymore
  • the sun interferes with sleep in evenings and mornings now
  • it’s been seven years and i still can’t shake thinking that i should get a three-month rest if i can just push through the first week of may
    (so this is a, like, loss-of-hope thing; in grown-up life, there is no rest, no break, you just have to push through for-fucking-ever)
  • pollen counts
  • just, like, everything else, probably, too

but what i hate most of all about spring:

  • spring at the effing feed & farm store

I hate how our whole lives are basically dependent on getting an education just so I can get a job and pay the bills like ????? And the suckiest part is that we’re pretty much forced to work every day in our lives since we turn fucking four years old all the way till retirement? How much time does that give us to actually live? To actually do what makes us happy, whether that’s spending time with your family or traveling the world. Like I’m young and I want to live life to the fullest before I look back at life on my deathbed and say ‘I wish I did more’. Duuuude imagine how great you would feel everyday if you woke up and had the entire day to yourself to do whatever you wanted, without having to worry about dumb responsibilities that shouldn’t even matter in the first place. Idk I just think that this is a fucked up system where people say 'focus on happiness not money’ but literally our entire survival revolves around earning money pretty much from birth to death.